My mother started to show signs of dementia about 3 years ago, she stopped looking after herself and started accusing everyone of stealing of her. she lost all value of money and eventually ended up in hospital. I lived beside my mum until 7 years ago when I moved 30 miles away and no longer seen her every day as I ahd for the previous 35 years of my life. Forward to October 2005.....the nursing home she had spent 2.5 years in decided they could no longer cope with her as she was getting violent to other residents and staff, also every time my brother or myself took her out she fought and said she wanted to go her own housee and not back to nursing home. Eventually she was admitted to an EMI unit in a different nursing home. She seemed happy at first but 6 weeks after going in I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital for 5 months. I never visited her for the first 8 weeks I was in hospital then started to visit her once a week. She went downhill greatly in this time, lost a lot of weight and did not reciognise me at every visit. She is now no longer mobile and does not know us. Grandchildren will no longer visit, I have 1 sister who will not visit , she says she cannot cope with it, she never visited her when she was well so this is just an excuse. My brother and I are her only visiters and we are finding it harder and harder. last week she had to go to hospital and we sat in A&E with her for 5 hours and it was heartbreaking, she had been sick and doctor wanted her checked out. She was sent in ambulance and back again. I feel so helpless, I go to see her and she hold on to my hand but shows no recognition most times, sometimes you get the odd word and a laugh. In the last week I have started wishing she was dead, I feel so bad about this . I love her so much but hate seeing her like this. I feel so helpless. My brother will not talk about it, he visited with me last week and was only there about 2 minutes when he wanted to leave again. I know this can last for many years, her sister has had alzihmers for about 14 years. She ahs just deteariated so much in the last 8 months, on Christmas Day she knew us and was talking about wanting to go visit her sisiter and now she does not even knwo our names. How am I going to get through this? I just feel I cannot watch it for years to come and do not know what to do.