This is my first time on the board. My mother developed Alzeimer's at the age of 60, that's when the diagnosis was made. The illness is progressing ,swallowing is becoming a problem and each time I visit her I find it hard to hold it together.She open's her eye's to look at me and my heart is breaking, I work full-time on a women's health unit and I'm finding difficult to hold it together in work.I feel so useless and feel I should be coping better especially being a nurse but I know mam is slipping away and it's breaking my heart. I am looked upon by the family as the strong one but this isn't so , I feel so useless ,my mother has been in hospital for four year's and the care she recieves is good but I still feel gulity every time I visit and leave her there. I have had nightmare's of her being aware of where she is and being frightened and I feel such a terrible human being for leaving this happen. Hope someone read's this and understand's .