Finding it hard to grasp progression

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Skeet, Oct 20, 2019.

  1. Skeet

    Skeet New member

    Oct 20, 2019
    5
    I have Dementia. It's not bad yet, but it's progressing so much more quickly than I anticipate. Each week I feel I have lost more memories and words. I thought it would take years. It's not even taking months. I feel more lost almost every day. Is this normal? I don't read much these days. I forget where I left off. I was able to identify with "I Can't Remember" by Jo Dorn. I Can't Remember should be my name. I'm going to eventually forget my name, aren't I?
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
    I sincerely hope not @Skeet although I doubt anyone can predict especially as everyone`s dementia progresses at different rates.

    My mother had no viable communication for ages. She had no responses to me for many months. Her social worker visited her for an assessment and when she asked my mother her name, she replied clearly and with accuracy, surprising us all.

    I know you are mainly concerned with the progression of your dementia. Please do not hesitate to consult your doctor with your worries.
     
  3. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,459
    leicester
    Hello @Skeet and welcome to DTP
    I think as @Grannie G suggests you need to see your GP or your consultant pleas do not be afraid of asking for help and support as with any illness things progress at different rates and medical intervention can be very helpful
     
  4. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
    hello @Skeet
    a warm welcome to DTP
    I am not sure that's the case at all ... my dad knew he was Fred and he was my dad and always responded to me

    I hope this doesn't sound trite ... I've often found that the anxiety of worrying away at something, makes it feel worse ... and knowing that I have something, though it can be a relief to have it named, makes me super aware of the symptoms ... a bit like telling yourself not to spill that beetroot on your Tshirt; then it's bound to happen

    sorry, that's probably not helpful

    if you are concerned about anything, do let your GP/consultant know so they can chat things over with you

    and keep posting here, for better responses than mine
     
  5. Skeet

    Skeet New member

    Oct 20, 2019
    5
     
  6. Skeet

    Skeet New member

    Oct 20, 2019
    5
    Shedrech, you're right about the worrying. I've made mistakes my entire life. Everyone has. But now, when I do/say something wrong, I ask myself, "Was that just because I'm 72 and all people that age have senior moments", or "Was the the Dementia? And, if so, how will I know if it turns into Alzheimer's?" I have heard, although I don't know if it's true, that Alzheimer's cannot be positively diagnosed until the brain is examined after death. So, perhaps I'll never know! What do you say to a husband who constantly says, "I already told you/" or "asks you to do something he knows, or should know, you can't do anymore? Having Dementia is difficult enough for the patient, and the care giver. But he makes me feel so useless even though I don't think he realizes it.
     
  7. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,637
    south-east London
    I just wanted to add a warm welcome from me too @Skeet

    I can only repeat the wise advice already given - and just to reiterate that we are here whenever you need to voice any concerns or just chat.

    One thing in particular that struck me was when you mentioned that you don't read much these days as you forget where you left off.

    It reminded me of my husband, who had been an avid reader all his life, but who also started to struggle with remembering the plot so far.

    To help maintain that love of reading I helped him find collections of short stories, rather than novels. This worked for quite a while as he was able to read a complete story each time, without the need to remember where he'd got up to.

    More recently I have come across something called flash fiction - apparently it has been around for a long time now but it seems to have passed me by during the caring years as I was so caught up in other things. It is basically stories told within a certain number of words. Some are up to 1,500 words (half the length of an average short story) but 800 or 500 words seem to be fairly common too.

    I think, if I had been aware of flash fiction at the time, I might have found more material that my husband could have continued reading and enjoying for a while longer.
     
  8. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
  9. Skeet

    Skeet New member

    Oct 20, 2019
    5
    Thanks to you all for the warm welcome. Today's trial, like most other days, is that while my husband takes care of cooking, going to the market... things I used to do, he's in his 70's, too, and he gets tired and has a lot of pain in his body. What do you do when you are being verbally abused, told you're stupid if you don't remember something and your self esteem has pretty much died? He's not going to change. I'm going to. I'll be getting worse! We are never happy anymore and I feel it's all my fault, even though I'm still "with it" enough to know it's not. His Dad died of Alzheimer's and my husband has started making more mistakes than he used to. I'm chalking it up to exhaustion, repetition with me, old age... and maybe he's getting Dementia, too. He works very hard around the house. It's not physical abuse. I don't have a clue what to do about emotional abuse. My emotions feel really beat up and I find myself not saying as much as I used to because I don't want the yelling, the name calling, the rolling eyes. I don't feel like I have a home or a life anymore.
     
  10. silver'lantern

    silver'lantern Registered User

    Apr 23, 2019
    168
    Female
    .....I have no idea the real 'proper' answer.....but I feel for you. I think it should be that the PwD can state "hey I don't want to stay here being cared for by this person any longer" ...carers can state when they have had enough and can do no more for the person they care for. So it should work the other way around too hu? If things were the other way around I certainly wouldn't want to be cared for by the person I am caring for! He is happy with me caring for him, and I am happy to do it But you are still a person with feelings, and if you want out you should have that option too.
    Maybe He needs support? Maybe He is worried about the future too and this is how it comes out. Stress, worry and depression can cause similar symptoms too. Pain also changes how people cope. I have chronic pain and on really bad days I don't cope with my caring role as well as I should.
    any form of abuse is unacceptable. Is this a new issue. Maybe you both need some support to get through this Have you checked out any groups, dementia cafes. Have you had any assessment to get support, like care help or day center. I think maybe start with a talk with your GP. I hope you get some support.
    Best wishes
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.