Finding a nursing home

[dawn4856]

We attended a DST meeting on the 27/10/2011 where it was agreed that my mother can no longer stay in a residential home due to her physical needs out-weighing her mental health needs will now need nursing care. 15 months ago she was admitted to a EMI residential home with vascular dementia. Five weeks ago she fell in the home and broke her hip. After a hip operation she was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital where she has remained bed ridden, needing bed baths, a catheter and pads. She has not been mobile in all the time she has been in hospital. She is extremely confused and her dementia has progressed.

My sister and I are in a position where we have to find a new nursing home. We have been told by the hospital we have two weeks to come up with three potential nursing homes.

I have visited two today. Can anyone tell me what they know of (name of Home deleted by Moderator)? And if anyone can recommend a good nursing home in Mid Glamorgan/Gwent.

I do not want to get this wrong. It's obviously very important to me that she is cared for properly by good nursing staff.

Very stressed about having to make such an important decision.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Dawn:
You will see I have deleted the name of the Home as this is against our Terms and Conditions.

I must also remind members that any recommendations should be sent via pm and not on the open Forum.

I hope you find a suitable Home, Dawn. When I was searching for my husband I obtained a directory from Social Services and visited any that looked suitable. I also telephoned anyone in my area who I knew had relatives or experience of Nursing Homes - that was especially helpful.

 

[min88cat]

Hi Dawn

Sorry to hear of your problems. Firstly I wouldn't take any notice of the hospital saying that you have 2 weeks to come up with 3 homes, that's tantamount to blackmail! What are they going to do if you can't find one? Throw her out? I think not!

Whilst your Mum is in hospital, she should be allcoated a Care Manager (Social Worker) who should liaise with you about your Mums needs etc, and possibly some up with some suggestions for places which would suit your mum's needs. She should also be fully assessed.

We have just been through this scenario oursleves with my MIL. Her care worker suggested a council home near us, which was brilliant and where she was admitted on Wednesday. It has a lovely caring atmosphere and MIL has settled really well.

Please don't be pushed into anything or feel that you have to make any decisions in a panic . Your Mum deserves the best that you can do for her.

I'm sure others will be along with more advice

 

[dawn4856]

Please accept my most sincere apologies for naming the home. I'm sorry I was not aware.

I have received one list and have visited two nursing homes. Proving difficult with working full-time and living over 25 miles away from the area. I am actively seeking recommendations from relatives of other patients. I dont want to get this wrong. Problem is you can't tell a book by its cover. What you see is not always what you get.

Thanks for your reply and continued support.

Dawn

 

[turbo]

Hello Dawn, I have sent you a pm.

Turbo

 

[dawn4856]

Finding a good nursing home

Thanks for your reply. I've been given a list of possible homes in one area and have visited two of them. But as you are aware you can't tell a book by it's cover and the responsibility of making sure I get the best nursing care for my mother is weighing heavily on my mind. My mother's social worker will not commit herself to giving me any advice on choice of home.

I really want to go on recommendation by other relatives and to that end I have been ringing around relatives etc.

I think I've given you the wrong impression about the hospital. In the meeting they said that they would appreciate if I could come up with three possible nursing homes in the next two weeks but my mother will remain there until a suitable placement is found.

Once again, your reply is comforting and I thank you for it during this very stressful time.

Dawn

 

[FifiMo]

Dawn,

I can sympathise with you having just gone through this myself and trying to find a home for my mother. We started off by trawling the internet - looking to see if the homes had websites - was there previous CQC reports done on them (they have limited value because they are out of date now and might not reflect the current position). We then went to visit some homes and whilst you can go in with a check list and start ticking things off, I found that a lot of it came down to intuition. A place can be brand new but if it doesn't have the right attitude and staff then it might not measure up. The home we found is lovely. The people were friendly from the start. They all knew about dementia. I liked how the spoke to the clients too. Another home we went to see the people were friendly, almost TOO friendly to the point of being pushy. This one was a mixed home with people there who had other than dementia - yet the dementia wing was almost empty which I thought was strange and perhaps telling. What finally put us off was that one of the non-dementia residents was quite vocal about being there and how they shouted out for things sometimes for hours and no one came to help them. That was enough for us ... LOL

I can understand the challenge and the stress - I was doing this at a distance - with my mother in Scotland - the family wanting to move her down south nearer where we all now live. Each visit takes a round trip of 6 hours when looking at homes. That is one thing that I would say from experience, unless there is a pressing reason not to move your mum close to you - then please look into that. The travelling and working full time can be taxing after a while.

Fiona

 

[dawn4856]

Fifimo

Thank you for this advice. I have spent hours on the internet these last few nights. I have not limited my search to one area, my mother has gone past knowing where she is and not one of her friends or family members that lived close by bothered to go and see her when she was in a care home near her home address. All that matters to me is that I choose the best nursing home for my mother, that's the least I can do. I know you have done the same. I have only been to see two, they both had advantages and disadvantages, but what I want to see in the one I choose are settled, happy residents and genuinely caring friendly staff. It's OK being all nicey nicey to relatives when they come but what happens when we are not there. We'll never know will we. I am having sleepless nights!!

Dawn

 

[FifiMo]

Dawn,

Maybe ask if you can sit down for a while when you visit the next place and soak up the atmosphere. Park outside and see if you can speak to any of the relatives perhaps. The best visits that i had were on a Saturday afternoon. That's the day lots of relatives visit who work during the week and so the home was buzzing. Other thing to look out for is smells - especially if there are a number of bedridden people in that wing. There weren't any smells first time we went but after she had moved in there was a smell in the corridor - the family are disagreeing as to what the smell is - my sister said cottage pie - the other said - is that before or after it is eaten? LOL We bought a big bag of pot-pourie for her room - but had to remove it - when she thought it was for eating ! So we've resorted to plug-ins !! Not that my mother has noticed at all - its more for us when we're visiting ! LOL

I know you're worried about what happens when you're not there - but - that is more reason for you to have her close to you if you can. That way you can drop in as and when you want - the home my mother is in gave us the keypad information and said - its her home - come and go as you wish. So we do. In fact, it is THE thing that I rely on when i arrive and I can see what she is up to when we're not around. Every time she has been fine, babbling away in the lounge, with her new group of friends. That is what reassures us quite frankly.

Hope this helps,

Fiona