Finding a Nursing Home

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Amy, Feb 16, 2006.

  1. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    I still keep hitting the wrong button to start a thread, I hit the one at the top called thread starter, and get nowhere, then remember it's the one at the bottom called "Post a thread"!
    What advice do we have for someone who feels a Care Home may soon be needed, but doesn't know where or how to start looking? I'm asking this for a friend, because I know that my advice is very limited and only based on how I went about it.
    Amy
     
  2. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    Some first moves

    Start with the Commission for Social Care Inspection. Their website is at www.csci.org.uk and lets you search every registered home by area, type of care provided and specialist registrations (Dementia is one of the categories, and the home should be registered to accommodate dementia patients).

    Your friend's local social services may publish a list in their area (mine didn't till I had a go at them via their Chif Executive - I hope you're luckier and live in a competent area!). The factsheets on this site may also help with helping you to draw up a checklist of things to think about, ask and check too: there a lot of factors to bear in mind.

    Your friend should call all the relevant homes to ask for printed informatin (they're obliged by law to provide ie), and should visit them all. Arrange a visit the first ime (be wary of any home that's reluctant - what do they have to hide?), but don't think you can't turn up unannounced after that. Well, you tidy up before you have visitors too, don't you?

    I'm sure others will provide plenty more helpful advice.

    Good luck!
     
  3. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    ALWAYS, TURN UP UNANNOUNCED!!! Never make appointments, you need to see it warts and all and if they have a problem with that then go away never to darken their doorstep again.
     
  4. Dolly Pond

    Dolly Pond Registered User

    Mar 17, 2006
    9
    Buckinghamshire
    Finding a home

    This the first thing I have ever posted so it could end up anywhere, sorry!

    My farther is in a nursing home and we got help from a Placement Officer through Social Services, I use the term 'help' very loosely though. We found that the problem wasn't finding the homes it was, finding one without a waiting list and one who accepted the right kind of funding. We found a lovely home, the bed was self funding which we are but, be sure that when your money runs out they will allow it to become a bed funded by the PCT. It was very important to us that we didn't have to move dad again, this will be the 3rd type/place of care he has been in. The comment I read (somewhere) about turning up unannounced is spot on, they really won't like it but tuff!
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Dolly,
    Nice to have you onboard (Like that nautical term eh Michael E?). Your posting seems to me to have ended up in just the right place. Just wanted to "Hello" - have nothing further to add.
    Amy
     
  6. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    I was advised to choose a nursing home for me, rather than for my dad. That may be true in more ways than one :eek: I often wonder who needs the psychiatrist and the medication the most out of the pair of us.

    But seriously, I think the point is that it needs to be somewhere that you feel comfortable visiting, phoning, trying to communicate with and sort out problems with etc. My experience this week is that arriving unannouced and as a bit of a jibbering wreck at nursing homes gives a pretty good sense of whether they're OK. Go for ones that bring you tea and biscuits ;)
     
  7. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    None of them have offered me tea and biscuits.

    I have visited all the homes within reach of where I live and none of them will do.

    I think the retirement apartments will do, as long as my brother agrees, and my mother can have careworkers coming in there.

    Of course she might suddenly get worse and have to go into a home at short notice. (So might we all.) Or she might dodder along in her present state for 20 years.
     
  8. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    Hello everyone

    In 1997 I had to find a care home for Mum - that was the start of a 7 year saga of care homes. The key factor was Mums changing needs and having no one to help match those needs with a care home that offered the right environment and culture of care.

    I'm feeling really angry that carers are still, nearly 10 years later left to make this life changing decision - ON THEIR OWN, WITH NO SUPPORT - EITHER WITH relevant information or emotional support at this time. Some carers (I mean family / friend not paid carers) are totally on their own - sometimes family & friends disappear when dementia takes a hold or frail or very elderly themselves or have other caring responsiblities or live long way away.

    This stage for people is so ignored. Even if a suitable care home is found - there is no help (unless you live near Oxford & are in touch with SPECAL) with the transitional period - when people move from the life they have known for 60 - 90 years into a communual environment. It doesnt have to be like this . Its one of the things we could so something about but one of several things in the dementia journey that falls between existing services. Even within Alzheimer's Society there is no such servive - often those working as Carer Support Workers arent able to help that much other than the much appreciated 'support' . What we need is more accurate info about what each care home is ACTUALLY like , does it offer REAL person centred care - a lot of homes think they are - but in reality its all talk.

    Also , too much worry about 'we are not able to recommend' - We dont want reommendation - we want help matching a person (and their lifestyle & aspirations) with a choice of care homes that all SUIT the person . eg If someone wants to feel free by havign lots of spacde to walk in - outdoor in fresh air as well as indoors - they NEED that - if dont get it they will be unhappy & guess what - trying to 'get out' all the time - but only to do what they want. find out what people want & help them achieve it - then all the so called 'challenging behaviour' will mostly disappear.

    Sorry for rant.
     
  9. jarnee

    jarnee Registered User

    Mar 18, 2006
    181
    leicestershire
    Hi

    My dad has just gone into his permanent residential home. Very aggressive at the moment, but not sure yet if it is just a phase of settling or whether we have got the placement wrong!!! Time will tell

    My advice is: visit as many as you can. Ask questions about the things that you know are important ( e.g I know my dad still wants to "do things" so we looked for somewhere that would let him help set the table etc etc)

    I know what you mean about wanting help....there doesn't seem to be much.

    My biggest worry at the moment is that because of the aggression, he will get himself expelled!!!!! :confused: That ever happened to anyone else ??

    Good luck with your search

    Jarnee
     
  10. smile

    smile Registered User

    Oct 25, 2005
    7
    tenerife
    advise needed re nursing home

    I work with a gentleman over here on Tenerife who has A.D, his wife is struggling to cope any longer and wishes him to return to the Uk (around the Blackpool area) as there are no suitable nursing homes out here, he has tried a period of respite in one home here with disasterous results

    I have lost touch of the best ways to find a home for him, are there anyway to check inspection reports of local nursing homes online,

    We feel it would be necessary to draw up a short list then fly back and visit the homes prior to making our final choice

    I know there used to be a specialist unit for sufferers both young and old but I have heard it has since closed down

    thanks
     
  11. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    The CSCI have a website where you can search for homes. This is the link

    http://www.csci.org.uk/default.htm

    As has been discussed on another thread, you may find that homes that get rave reviews don't match up to it when you actually visit. However, the website will at least tell you where they are, what type of resident they cater for etc.

    I made a complaint to the CSCI about the don't care home that my mum used to be in and they have got away with it scot free so the CSCI are not my favourite people at the moment! We were talking on another thread about the fact that we should be able to set up a website giving reviews for homes from people who live in them and visit them. Any ideas to help with that from anyone would be great!
     
  12. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    Trouble is there will always be people posting with their own agenda.

    Lila
     
  13. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    You also need to bear in mind that not all homes will have vacancies and it could be argued that the better they are the less likely they are to have vacancies.

    The first time we were looking for a home for my mum we needed an EMI care home. My dad had died and she was in respite in a council run home for 5 weeks. We wanted her to stay there but it was under threat of closure and the SS wouldn't allow her to stay there. We were told we had a week to find her a new place and there were only 2 places locally with vacancies.

    When we recently came to look for a nursing home place for her we really liked the first place we looked at. Then we found there were 12 people on the waiting list, even though the social worker had told us there were vacancies. We then went on to look at half a dozen other homes and didn't like any of them. The first place had had a vacancy in a shared room but we didn't want her in a shared room. Eventually we came to the conclusion that we would rather have her in a home we liked in a shared room than in a home we didn't like as much in a single room. She still pays the same level of fees as she would for a single room though!
     
  14. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    What do you mean exactly Lila? :confused:
     
  15. Dolly Pond

    Dolly Pond Registered User

    Mar 17, 2006
    9
    Buckinghamshire
    Inspection reports

    Hi (again)

    Chris, I just want to start by saying, the rant is no problem, isn't this what the talking point is all about!?

    Jarnee, my father is also aggressive and unpredictable, don't worry about the home not managing. If my dad wasn't many of the things he is now, he would be at home with my mum? The staff are training to deal with all kinds of behaviour and are much better at dealing with difficult situations than us.

    I have been to see my dad today and finally after 2 months he seems to be settling in, I think they are also using less 'calming' drugs on him which allows him to be more alert. I have been know to question the doctors about medication(I know nothing about!) to be totally clear what he is given and why. With light medication they may well calm him down but ask questions and make sure it isn't used for any longer than necessary. The last place dad was in (hospital for four months) were 'over calming' him, he did end up in a real state and in the end I had to call a meeting with the doctors to sort the whole thing out.

    Smile, I found this link very useful
    http://www.csci.org.uk/inspection_reports/default.htm
     
  16. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    Hope he'll settle. Yes, people can and do get "expelled" (e.g. into a mental hospital)

     
  17. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Jarnee,
    Don't panic. Though I have no experience of this, I have read of various people being asked to move a relative, but if that is the case it is because the Home does not feel that it can give the level of care that the client requires.
    If you are at all concerned, I would suggest that you talk to the Manager at the home, express your worries, see if they perceive there to be a problem. You might be worrying needlessly. I think that it is important to have a dialogue between yourself and the Home, to build a good relationship, so that if there are any problems then you are both on the same side, so to speak.
    Take care
    Amy
     
  18. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Jarnee and Dolly Pond - My Dad was "expelled" to a mental hospital for 5 weeks early last year because of aggression. Although the staff at his Home are trained there is a limit before protection of other residents and staff takes over. Dad was assessed in hospital, his medication was adjusted, and then he was allowed back to his Home.

    He went through a minor spell of aggression again recently but that seems to have passed and 'calming' medication is only used when absolutely necessary thank goodness. It must have been difficult for you, Dolly Pond, having to question your Dad's doctors about him being "over calmed" but it just proves that communication is vital in sorting out the best care. Jarnee, I second Amy's suggestion about speaking to the Manager, good luck and I hope your Dad settles soon.
     
  19. Dolly Pond

    Dolly Pond Registered User

    Mar 17, 2006
    9
    Buckinghamshire
    Expelled!

    Oh no Daughter I'm so sorry, I hope things work out!? I don't know what we would do if no one could deal with dad? It was his 4 month stay in a mental hospital where he ended up a right state, one member of staff told me she 'had to run for her life' one day!

    I question everything, I struggle with the fact he isn't now living surrounded with people who love him. If you follow me?

    On a lighter note - I took my mum with me today to visit dad. Mum is very strong but I know deep down she would do anything for him to know who she is. He has asked he if he is married and who she is in the passed. Today when I told him he was married, his face lit up until............. I pointed at mum! He just couldn't hide the disappointment one bit, mum and I did laugh!
     
  20. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Yes thanks, Dolly Pond, Dad is back in his Home and has been there for many months since the hospital spell. As I said, his aggression can now be controlled with "calming" drugs when necessary at the Home, probably in the same way as you describe with your Dad. I must admit that was a harrowing time but I wanted to try and reassure Jarnee that my Dad was "suspended" rather than completely "expelled" from his Home. I didn't mean to worry you, sorry.

    I do sometimes share your concern about Dad living in a kind of institutionalised environment, but I do know that he is taken care of very well by the staff. When we visit we witness their treatment of Dad and other residents. Also, I know that Mum could not have continued to look after him at home. So we have to go with the compromise and visit often when Dad is surrouded by people who love him!

    I'm glad your Mum can see the funny side in the situation you describe, even though it must hurt. My Mum has come around to this way of thinking too - some of the things Dad says or does often have us in fits! I guess if we didn't laugh....

    Best wishes,
     

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