Finding a care home and associated questions

[Tears Falling]

The time has come for mum to move to a nursing home. We have been advised on nursing and not residential due to mums needs and dwindling function/confusion/distress.

My sister had been round to look and a short list of 2 has been identified. Dad visited both yesterday with her and has identified out the one he thinks is just appropriate. He is engaged and is thinking/deciding. I expect my brother will visit soon to see the place and I am going to contact them and see if I can have a telephone call with the new resident manager. I am hoping that I will be able to get a walk round via Skype or FaceTime. I use it for my work and it makes things easy. Don't see why the home can't do the same. Embrace technology

So next steps. I think we need to understand the following.

Cost and how it works. Mum will be self funding initially. Does she self fund until every penny is spent and what happens when the money runs out? Can she stay until the end (I believe the selected place will keep her until she passes).

Activities and potentially mum continuing with some of her activities.

Getting in touch. Will she have a phone (I don't think it's a good idea) but is there a communal phone. Do they have the facility for Skype or FaceTime calls.

Visiting. Hours or flexible.

Moving day...how will it be managed.

Medical matters.....own doctor, own dentist, continued appointments for other matters?

Clothing.....furniture......personal possessions......

There will, be more that I have even thought about.

Any guidance from your wonderful folk would be appreciated.... What am I missing.

Edit....how will they assess or decide if they can have mum. What if mum is having a reasonable day when they assess and then when she arrives she is really struggling and is at her worst. Can they ask her to leave. And any idea from assessment to how long before she may go into the new place.

 

[josephinewilson]

Hello First of all, I am not an expert as I am just in the process of getting my mum sorted for a home too - but this is what I have learned so far;

*My mum is also going to be self funding until she runs out of money (goes down to £23 K and then she pays a proportion, apparently, and then when she is down to £14K she pays nothing) I understand it depends on the care home as to whether, once she runs out of money, they are happy for her to stay and the council foots the bill (which the ones I have visited are) or other private homes which will not have her if she has to be council funded.
*Activities -you need to check with each home what they provide in terms of activities. The good ones will cater for your parent's interests
*Getting in touch - I think it varies from home to home but the ones I have seen have phones in the room, but the bill might not be part of the monthly rent. I can't see places having Skype etc unless they have a computer room although I'd expect the internet to be available in most carehomes. I didnt' ask for my mum as she has forgotten to use a phone and has never used the internet. (And yes I totally agree with embracing technology, particularly as I work with technology online every day )
*Visiting should be whenever you want. If it is not, then it is not a good home imo. Some places give family a key fob swipe thing so you can come and go as you please.
*Moving day- I am sorry - I don't know but I would like to see the answers from others for my own mother
*Medical matters - I don't know; I am afraid.
*Own clothes, furniture etc. They can wear their own clothes and the place should do the washing, I think. Some places let you take your own furniture or bits of it,depending on size of room. I think this is important as it gives the parent something familiar to hang on to in a new environment.

 

[canary]

A lot of the answers to your question depend very much on the place where she goes.
Before you commit yourself ask the home what sort of behaviour they would not accept. There have indeed been posts on here from people who say that they are having to sort out a new home for someone whose home has said that they can no longer care for their needs. The home will assess your mum and at that time do not minimise her needs (although, obviously dont say it in front of your mum), so that they get the clearest picture.

Re the activities, there should be activities at the home for her, but they will probably not want to escort her going to outside activities, although you may be able to take her yourself. Mum has a trusted friend who will take her to church regularly. Some activities specifically for people with dementia dont let you continue attending them once you go into a CH.

Mums place doesnt have a phone for residents use, but will put someone on the phone if relatives ring. TBH, mum lost the ability to understand about the phone soon after going into the CH, so the matter hasnt really arisen in my case. Lkewise, they dont hace skype facilities. Other homes may differ. I dont think it would be a good idea for her to have her own phone either. Things get moved around and misplaced often enough at the best of time and there is huge potential for inappropriate use (multiple calls throughout the night, phoning the police, other people using it etc etc), so dont do it. I send mum a picture postcard regularly which is something she enjoys and will reread regularly.

Make sure you label every single thing that she takes into the care home with her and keep an inventory (perhaps take photographs). Ask the CH about their policy of bring in their own possessions. Mums CH takes the line of "if it will fit into her room she can have it in her room" so she has got some small pieces of furniture (a chest of drawers, bedside cabinet and her comfy armchair), a bed throw, some pictures on the wall, photos in frames and her own bedside lamp (the home will PAT test too). DO NOT SEND ANYTHING VALUABLE. Make sure that any photos are copies in case they go missing/get broken/thrown out.

Usually the CH has its own GP, dentist, optician, chiropodist and hairdresser who visits. Mum was lucky in that her own GP is the one who attends to the CH, so there was no change, but if that is not the case then, unfortunately, she will see a new GP. It does at least mean that the GP knows about dementia. There is also a hairdresser that goes to mums CH, but I dont like the way she cuts mums hair, so I book her into her old hairdresser and take her there. BTW, you will still have to pay for hairdresser/chiropodist/optician as you would do if she were not in a home - although I usually persuade mum to go for the glasses that she can get free!

 

[Havemercy]

A lot of the answers to your question depend very much on the place where she goes.
Before you commit yourself ask the home what sort of behaviour they would not accept. There have indeed been posts on here from people who say that they are having to sort out a new home for someone whose home has said that they can no longer care for their needs. The home will assess your mum and at that time do not minimise her needs (although, obviously dont say it in front of your mum), so that they get the clearest picture.

Re the activities, there should be activities at the home for her, but they will probably not want to escort her going to outside activities, although you may be able to take her yourself. Mum has a trusted friend who will take her to church regularly. Some activities specifically for people with dementia dont let you continue attending them once you go into a CH.

Mums place doesnt have a phone for residents use, but will put someone on the phone if relatives ring. TBH, mum lost the ability to understand about the phone soon after going into the CH, so the matter hasnt really arisen in my case. Lkewise, they dont hace skype facilities. Other homes may differ. I dont think it would be a good idea for her to have her own phone either. Things get moved around and misplaced often enough at the best of time and there is huge potential for inappropriate use (multiple calls throughout the night, phoning the police, other people using it etc etc), so dont do it. I send mum a picture postcard regularly which is something she enjoys and will reread regularly.

Make sure you label every single thing that she takes into the care home with her and keep an inventory (perhaps take photographs). Ask the CH about their policy of bring in their own possessions. Mums CH takes the line of "if it will fit into her room she can have it in her room" so she has got some small pieces of furniture (a chest of drawers, bedside cabinet and her comfy armchair), a bed throw, some pictures on the wall, photos in frames and her own bedside lamp (the home will PAT test too). DO NOT SEND ANYTHING VALUABLE. Make sure that any photos are copies in case they go missing/get broken/thrown out.

Usually the CH has its own GP, dentist, optician, chiropodist and hairdresser who visits. Mum was lucky in that her own GP is the one who attends to the CH, so there was no change, but if that is not the case then, unfortunately, she will see a new GP. It does at least mean that the GP knows about dementia. There is also a hairdresser that goes to mums CH, but I dont like the way she cuts mums hair, so I book her into her old hairdresser and take her there. BTW, you will still have to pay for hairdresser/chiropodist/optician as you would do if she were not in a home - although I usually persuade mum to go for the glasses that she can get free!

I totally agree with this - I work in a hospital and the two recent cases I can recollect which broke down were where the care/nursing homes did not (for various reasons) visit to assess the patients- ie to check that the home can "meet the needs of the patient". Within a couple of weeks the care homes were asking for the PWD to be moved. Don't know what happens in the community - would assume that there would be some sort of face to face assessment by the proposed care home.

 

[fizzie]

Please please please checkout the CQC reports and don't go for anything less than 'good' when you are choosing if i were you, unless you have read the whole report and are prepared to accept the difficulties.
you can look up your shortlist here
http://www.cqc.org.uk/content/inspection-reports

Ask the home re GP but just as importantly ask your GP . A number of homes at the moment are having trouble registering residents because GPs want to be paid more for the service!!!! We won't go there!!! So check this out pretty thoroughly

I would visit the local carers cafe (google it with your area) and ask the locals about recommendations for homes - there nought like a local coffee meeting to give you the dos and don'ts and the current info which is unprintable.

Don't be impressed by the physical environment - some of the ones that look 5* have appalling care records!

Age UK have a decent check list too
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/care-homes/care-home-checklist/location-and-building/

some homes encourage skype - it is such an advantage for relatives who live a long way away but most don't - you are right they will have to in the future

 

[cragmaid]

Have you spoken with your Local Authority Social Care department? Has Mum had a needs assessment? Many Residential homes are able to provide care until death, perhaps within an EMI wing, Has CHC been sought/granted to cover the cost of Nursing care? Is there an actual medical need for Nursing Care?

Sorry this is a questionnaire, but so often the wrong care is provided, because the wrong questions have been answered.

My Mum spent 3 years in a Residential Care Home ( which had an EMI wing although Mum did not need it) The staff adjusted Mum's care as her needs changed. Mum had heart problems, cancer, and various other ailments as well as her Dementia but she was cared for well.

Good Luck, Maureen.x

 

[Tears Falling]

Thanks for your comments

 

[Kevinl]

I am going to contact them and see if I can have a telephone call with the new resident manager. I am hoping that I will be able to get a walk round via Skype or FaceTime.

I wouldn't be surprised if they said no out of respect for the privacy of the others in there, they can't necessarily clear all the communal rooms and areas while you film.
The rule I was told is that you can take pictures but have to tell a member of staff first and it has to be in a place where there are no other patients or in a way so no one else is in the picture, that to me sounds fair to me.
K