Financial help needed

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by Woohoo, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    90
    Female
    Essex
    Hi All,

    I am relatively new to this so please bear with me .
    Mum was diagnosed with ad 2 years ago ish though symptoms for many years. Dad has cared for her brilliantly even though being really poorly himself , he never wanted any external support , refused any financial help too., so proud as his generation were. During his many stays in hospital recently he consistently said he wanted to pay myself or sibling to help care for her, sibling does not want to take on that role and and I completely understand . Dad kind of unexpectedly passed away 9 weeks ago . I had been having mum to my home for 18 months for the day to give him a break and so when he died I moved mum in and she settled well as familiar and she adores my dog who gives her enormous happiness . My hubby and I both self employed and I had taken a lot of time off in the last few months to care for him and mum. I quit work the day he died . Subsequently we are really struggling financially without my income . She will be self funding but I can’t get her to agree to carers or a day centre so I can return to a little work, dad never wanted a stranger to care for mum but I have to do what’s right for all of us now Should I get her in a day centre so I can go back to work or can I draw money from her estate to cover loss of earnings ? Sorry if this sounds harsh. I am slightly worried about how quickly our debts are mounting up. Any help /advice greatly welcomed . Woohoo .
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,773
    N Ireland
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,564
    Yorkshire
    #3 Shedrech, Jun 19, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
    hi @Woohoo
    personally, I'd find a way to get yourself back to work for your own good and to help secure your present and future financial situation ... not working has so many hidden effects eg pension

    some love lies to your mum may help get her to a day care centre, maybe go with her the first time, say they need her help, or be quite blunt that you simply cannot afford not to work and it would be a huge favour to you .. if she wouldn't realise she is paying, fib and tell her it's a free club for pensioners

    have the carers, say thay are to help you as you need to work ... maybe keep thanking her for letting you have them come to help you; rather than ask if she will have carers, or discuss it with her, simply act as though it's a done deal, after all this is in your home

    you certainly can take a contribution from your mum to cover her share of all household expenses eg there may be much more washing now, so more products used, electricity etc ... and, of course, she should pay for anything that is directly for her own use

    if your mum qualifies for Attendance Allowance, that will be useful, and then if your income is below about £110pwk you could claim Carer's Allowance

    you might look into Gratuitous Payments, which need OPG agreement
    https://www.gov.uk/government/publi...payments/pn2-family-care-payments-web-version
    and look at these threads
    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/family-care-gratuitous-payment.113339/#post-1595779
    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/poa-and-attendance-allowance.113449/#post-1597634

    I'm not sure about compensating for loss of earnings ... you might check with the advisors on the AS Helpline
    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline

    and Admiral Nurses may be able to offer suggestions as they are there to help the carer
    https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing/

    I hope your mum has LPAs in place
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,650
    Female
    Scotland
    There is no reason of course why your Mum doesn’t cover her expenses while living with you just as she would in her own home. What is happening to her house in the meantime is it rented out or will it be sold. You should not be subsidising her living costs and losing your income at the same time. I think you need to agree an arrangement with your sister and if you don’t already have POA for finance and health and welfare then get them in place.

    You should also be claiming Carers Allowance and your mother should get Attendance allowance both of which would help.
     
  5. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    90
    Female
    Essex
    Thank you @karaokePete , have had a read through and am making notes . Appreciate your advice .
     
  6. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    90
    Female
    Essex
    Hi @Shedrech , thank you for the advice and links , had a problem replying , sorry it took so long . Thanks again .
     
  7. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    90
    Female
    Essex
    Hi @marionq . Thank you for the good advice , I have application form for Aa and am in the process of looking into carer’s allowance too. Thank you again. Have had a chat with Admiral nurse and also have a family navigator coming to offer help and advice . Thank goodness for this brilliant forum .
     

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