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Financial/debit card info suggestions?


New member
Jun 15, 2020

My mum has early stage dementia and easily gives money away over the phone when anyone rings up
- white goods insurance, drain block insurance, fence insurance, curtain insurance, call blocker phoneS, white goods insurance again; the list goes on and up to £3000 over the last 18 months.

I don't want to remove her independence or start controlling her finances but I want to limit what she spends on her debit card. Has anyone come across a payment card where I can pre-authorise transactions, only pay white-listed companies etc? I've looked at Pockit and Optimum but they don't limit where she can spend.

People who ring up the landline are the main problem - she doesn't ring them. She's got a call blocker (she lets all calls through), she's on the TPS and MPS and is ex-directory.

Any advice is greatly received. This is the second parent at the start of a dementia journey and this is one thing I want to do right this time.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
The best thing to do is to scratch off the three figure number on the back of the card. She will still be able to use it to get money from the ATM and chip and PIN, but she wont be able to use it over the phone.

I know you dont want to start controlling her finances, but I think that very soon you will have to as she is losing the understanding of money.


Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
So with call blocker, on the telephone preference service, and MPS and ex-directory. you have done everything you possibility can.
I am not sure what MPS is but sounds good!
I also removed mum from the electoral role, but not sure it made any difference.
The problem is I am not sure it is quite enough to defeat a determined spender with dementia.
Within the last two weeks I have read a post from someone and their husband managed to lose £12,000 importing a horse.
My mother ordered over five grands worth of spray loft insulation, that the property didn't even need.
Several months later I saw a tradesman entering her property on the ring doorbell camera, I phoned up and asked mum if I could speak to the man, and he had come from a different company to do a loft survey!
At present I have a huge sign in the loft saying ' If you have come to this property to sell loft insulation or anything, I will see you in court, (just in case anyone gets through the net!)
One year later the original company that I got a crime reference number for from the police, and I trashed on trustpilot, phoned trying to sell her something else !

I think on the dark web they sell the contact details of dementia and other vulnerable people, if her name is on this type of list that would be bad news.

She is still vulnerable to the 'its the police and we are coming to get your bank cards scam'.

What if you were to get the debit card of your dreams, with a nice £20 limit, what is to stop the scammers taking a £20 deposit on something, then when you arrive the following day to park there is a ' nice new drive, smell of tarmac, and a friendly builder saying the balance requires payment?
I think I would consider getting her a doro type mobile phone and losing the landline altogether?
I have a ring doorbell.
A guardcam.
A sign purchased from ebay saying ' this property is covered by CCTV both inside and out. '
Mum doesn't like the sign saying it is unfriendly, I keep promising to take it down but for some reason never quite manage it!