Finances and dementia

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by vickyc, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. vickyc

    vickyc New member

    Nov 19, 2019
    1
    My mother has mixed dementia and we are having major issues with her finances - we have power of attorney, which we do not want to use yet as she is still able to live independently for the most part and we don't want to take away her freedom - BUT she is spending money with wild abandon, being hoodwinked by cold callers and "charity mugger" types when she is out. My sister is spending a lot of time trying to cancel regular payments that have been set up on her bank card and trying to figure out why hundreds of pounds have been spent here and there. The bank have been of little use - their only suggestion has been to change her account to a savings account so that it can't have a direct debit, but then she will have to withdraw cash in order to spend money, and that makes her vulnerable... Does anyone have any experience of this sort of thing? We really don't want to put her in a position where she relies on someone else for access to her money, but with so many direct debits and recurring payments being taken we're at a loss for what we can do here?
     
  2. Floundering

    Floundering Registered User

    Mar 28, 2017
    12
     
  3. Floundering

    Floundering Registered User

    Mar 28, 2017
    12
    I think the only thing you can do is to take control of her cash. I have had to do this, and only ensure my husband only has a small amount of cash on him when he goes out. If he had £100 on him he would spend it all, usually but buying drinks for everyone in the pub! He no longer carries any bank cards. This also ensures he cannot give out bank details to all and sundry on the phone. We have also set up a security system on the phone which allows us to screen all calls that come in. My husband however is not capable of choosing who he wants to speak to, and we have a race sometime to answer the phone.
     
  4. CardiffGirlInEssex

    CardiffGirlInEssex Registered User

    Oct 6, 2018
    61
    My mother was like this, and to some extent still is, though these days my dad is mostly successful at getting to the incoming mail and filtering out the catalogues and begging letters. On the cold calls front, they changed to a BT call blocking phone and that has been a godsend. Any caller whose number is not stored in the phone has to record an announcement and it then comes through as an Announced Call which the recipient can decide to accept or reject. As the announcing process requires the caller to press buttons on their handset, it automatically blocks all those computerised calls and the ones from fake mobile numbers etc. In fact it is so good I now have the same phone and life is so much easier without all the nuisance calls.
     
  5. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,549
    Female
    England
    You could remove the three digit number from the back of her card. It would stop the card being used on the phone or on line but not her using it to withdraw cash herself. I don’t think you are taking away her freedom, you are preventing financial abuse. What freedom would she have if she is deprived of all her funds?
     

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