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Finally moved forward...


Registered User
Nov 3, 2019
So since my last post a few months ago my nan finally admitted defeat and my grandad is now in a care home as of yesterday. He was due to go Sunday however suffered a bad fall, badly hurting his arm and was in the hospital all weekend. We settled him into the home last night, straight from hospital as it wasn’t safe to go home. I went to see him today and he just looked at me blankly. Every day since he’s had dementia he’s always smiled the moment he’s seen my face, but not today. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it because of the transition of a new place? Even though you know it’s for the best I can’t help the feeling of guilt. The staff said he’d had a great first night seemed settled, and the home looks amazing. However still feel guilty, sad, upset you name it....


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hi @Lea8
I'm sorry to hear your grandad was in hospital, though it's good that he's now found a placement in residential care

a fall, a hospital stay and moving home are each challenging so all 3 together will have used up a lot of your grandad's energy reserves, which may be why he seems less responsive right now ... it's heartening that the staff say he seemed settled, so give him some time to recuperate

it's ok to feel as you do ... this is a big deal and it is sad ... so give yourself time too ... though be reassured that the guilt is misplaced, you and your family have stood by your grandad and will continue to do so supported now by a ream of staff who you'll get to know in time


Registered User
Nov 3, 2019
Thanks so much for your reply. Yes I suppose it’s a lot to contend with, he just looked so empty this evening. Even on the bad days his face has always lit up when he’s seen me, so I felt scared that he might no longer recognise me. I hope in a few days time he’ll be more settled. Just going through the motions of guilt although I know he we will be better cared for in the home, as my nan was struggling to cope and refused carers in the home etc. Feel a little relief he’s being cared for properly in a warm safe environment but it’s so hard at the same time.

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