Hi everyone,
After 5 and half years of me fighting for a formal diagnosis, my father finally got his yesterday.
"Alcohol-related dementia with a vascular component".
I had looked forward to this for a loooong time, the day that I was finally taken seriously by social workers, health professionals, hospitals, etc. and that I would surely be told that my father's issues weren't completely due to him previously being a high functioning alcoholic and extreme heavy ex-smoker, who now drinks just 2 or 3 cans (stella) a day....
AND I feel so disappointed. It's like I've been told NOTHING. I already knew he had alcohol-related brain/neurological ailments (from a convo I had with his GP 3 years ago) and vascular issues. It feels like a NOTHING diagnosis. It's like it will all carry on as usual, with everyone just passing off my Dad's problems as being "cos he drinks".
I'm also annoyed too about the fact that my father has brought this on himself, from a lifetime of heavy drinking and smoking, and now just expects to be run around after (and gets angry when *I* don't, yet it's fine that my siblings don't because of his perception of me/them). I always had this feeling anyway, but now that it's been confirmed that it's not ... well, one of the forms of dementia that actually has a proper name (ie: FTD, Lewys, Alz) ... then now I am more acutely aware of it.
He can't walk. He's occasionally incontinent. He can't feel his feet. He can't wipe his bum. He wipes poo from his pants onto his face, and doesn't see why this is a problem. He doesn't see why he should wash more than once a week. He has carers in 3 times a day (less said about them, the better!) to feed him (microwave meals). Never goes out. Has no family within 200 miles (and isn't in touch with any old friends cos he can't use his mobile phone). Has inappropriate behaviour. Oh I could go on.
So...after the diagnosis (assessment happened at his home), my father phoned me. He said that it's only a theory that alcohol causes dementia, the visit was a waste of time because he didn't learn anything, the dr "doesn't know what he's talking about". My father's decided he's NOT going to stop drinking, and in fact he wants a large bottle of whisky with his next Tesco order.
(note: I have LPOA, I arrange his shopping deliveries, and will never supply large spirit bottles!)
So I guess that apart from a rant, I'm hoping that there are other people out there in exactly the same boat, feeling (or have felt) same/similar to me...?
Thanks
After 5 and half years of me fighting for a formal diagnosis, my father finally got his yesterday.
"Alcohol-related dementia with a vascular component".
I had looked forward to this for a loooong time, the day that I was finally taken seriously by social workers, health professionals, hospitals, etc. and that I would surely be told that my father's issues weren't completely due to him previously being a high functioning alcoholic and extreme heavy ex-smoker, who now drinks just 2 or 3 cans (stella) a day....
AND I feel so disappointed. It's like I've been told NOTHING. I already knew he had alcohol-related brain/neurological ailments (from a convo I had with his GP 3 years ago) and vascular issues. It feels like a NOTHING diagnosis. It's like it will all carry on as usual, with everyone just passing off my Dad's problems as being "cos he drinks".
I'm also annoyed too about the fact that my father has brought this on himself, from a lifetime of heavy drinking and smoking, and now just expects to be run around after (and gets angry when *I* don't, yet it's fine that my siblings don't because of his perception of me/them). I always had this feeling anyway, but now that it's been confirmed that it's not ... well, one of the forms of dementia that actually has a proper name (ie: FTD, Lewys, Alz) ... then now I am more acutely aware of it.
He can't walk. He's occasionally incontinent. He can't feel his feet. He can't wipe his bum. He wipes poo from his pants onto his face, and doesn't see why this is a problem. He doesn't see why he should wash more than once a week. He has carers in 3 times a day (less said about them, the better!) to feed him (microwave meals). Never goes out. Has no family within 200 miles (and isn't in touch with any old friends cos he can't use his mobile phone). Has inappropriate behaviour. Oh I could go on.
So...after the diagnosis (assessment happened at his home), my father phoned me. He said that it's only a theory that alcohol causes dementia, the visit was a waste of time because he didn't learn anything, the dr "doesn't know what he's talking about". My father's decided he's NOT going to stop drinking, and in fact he wants a large bottle of whisky with his next Tesco order.
(note: I have LPOA, I arrange his shopping deliveries, and will never supply large spirit bottles!)
So I guess that apart from a rant, I'm hoping that there are other people out there in exactly the same boat, feeling (or have felt) same/similar to me...?
Thanks
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