I've posted a few times recently. My Dad had a serious car crash on November 30th, to say we've been on a roller coaster is an understatement. But today, after years of suspicions, memory clinic referrals being postponed due to cancer treatment, the 3 weeks since the accident in a trauma ward and now an elderly general medicine ward have led to a diagnosis of advances mixed dementia. It's been a long time coming and while I'm relieved I know this now opens a whole new can of worms and I'm petrified all at the same time. Not just for my dad but my whole family,
He's not in a good way, despite physically recovering well from the injuries he sustained in the crash, the trauma of it has somewhat accelerated his decline. He doesn't make sense when he does speak, apart from the odd word or two. He's gone from having the odd issue continence wise which we thought were due to prostate cancer treatment to double incontinence. one of many lightbulb moments has been realising perhaps that while thats contributed in fact it was probably dementia all along. Tests have given him the all clear in that sense. He's barely eaten or drank anything since the accident, just a few mouthfuls a day when prompted but soon refuses. And though he suffered a fractured spine and broken ribs, physically they're not restricting him mobility wise. Physios have managed to get him out of bed a couple of times but he's point blank refused since Saturday so he's now bed bound again, he doesn't appear to be in pain though. The first week or so he could sort of tell us when he was, he's totally calm now. Like he knows his time has come, if that makes sense.
We were asked to consider a dnr being put in place today, which we've agreed to. Whilst my dad hasn't been right for a while, it's hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd already been thinking about it since the accident but having it said out loud seemed different. Like I'm giving up on him too, but At the same time I realise the dad I had has gone. Would I have had him longer if he'd stopped driving. Probably. He has no quality of life now even though medically wise all left 'wrong' with him is a chest infection and he finishes the antibiotic course for that tomorrow. He didn't have the best of lungs anyway, and further antibiotics are likely to do more harm than good?
Yep, it's one big mess and I'm lost. I've not even got to the point that I have no clue who is going to care for my Dad. My mum can't anymore that's for sure
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He's not in a good way, despite physically recovering well from the injuries he sustained in the crash, the trauma of it has somewhat accelerated his decline. He doesn't make sense when he does speak, apart from the odd word or two. He's gone from having the odd issue continence wise which we thought were due to prostate cancer treatment to double incontinence. one of many lightbulb moments has been realising perhaps that while thats contributed in fact it was probably dementia all along. Tests have given him the all clear in that sense. He's barely eaten or drank anything since the accident, just a few mouthfuls a day when prompted but soon refuses. And though he suffered a fractured spine and broken ribs, physically they're not restricting him mobility wise. Physios have managed to get him out of bed a couple of times but he's point blank refused since Saturday so he's now bed bound again, he doesn't appear to be in pain though. The first week or so he could sort of tell us when he was, he's totally calm now. Like he knows his time has come, if that makes sense.
We were asked to consider a dnr being put in place today, which we've agreed to. Whilst my dad hasn't been right for a while, it's hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd already been thinking about it since the accident but having it said out loud seemed different. Like I'm giving up on him too, but At the same time I realise the dad I had has gone. Would I have had him longer if he'd stopped driving. Probably. He has no quality of life now even though medically wise all left 'wrong' with him is a chest infection and he finishes the antibiotic course for that tomorrow. He didn't have the best of lungs anyway, and further antibiotics are likely to do more harm than good?
Yep, it's one big mess and I'm lost. I've not even got to the point that I have no clue who is going to care for my Dad. My mum can't anymore that's for sure
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point