Final Stages


Registered User
Nov 26, 2003
Just got back from visiting my mum. We live 700 miles away but I visit whenever I can. This time it was 8 weeks since my last visit. She doesnt know me anymore, no sight (she went blind a few years ago) no understanding and almost no speech apart from a mumbled yes or no. I knew she had not been eating and that they had removed her teeth. They had tried putting a tube to her stomach but she kept yanking it out. I got such a shock this time....she has lost so much weight think she must have weighed around 9st last time she is now weighing in at approx 7.5. Incontinent and bedridden she can no longer do anything for herself and saliva is constantly running from her mouth. To be honest....I just want it to end I cant bear to watch her deteriorating like this!! My dad visits everyday but my brothers dont any more...they cant cope. This disease has torn my family apart. I am hoping that if there is a god...he will make it be over soon!

Jenny M

Registered User
Sep 15, 2003
My heart goes out to you and your family. My Mum died last week, and it is such a relief. She didn't want food for the last few weeks of her life. The care home staff tried to coax her to eat, but her teeth were clenched, and in the end, I asked them just to give her drinks, which they did. I can see no point in feeding someone who clearly does not want to eat, and whose body is preparing for death. I know every case is different, and the decision is a difficult one. I hope that her suffering and your suffering is soon over.


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