Final stages of Dementia

Ginger Rogers

Registered User
Jan 25, 2014
3
Mevagissey, Cornwall
my mum is in final stage of dementia, she constantly shouts screams used words that rhyme day and night she is not eating much and cannot chew anything she's holding food in her mouth or spitting out, I've started to liquidise or mash her food but she has one or two mouthfuls and refuses to eat the rest, she's not drinking hardly either. I had the GP out yesterday and he has now taken mum off quite a few tablets he said are doing nothing for her now, I was glad as she cannot swallow them now. She keeps feeling sick too. What do I do should I call doctors out again? Does she need to go into hospital she is so frail. Can anyone reply on here ? Advice needed please ???
 

keywest67

Registered User
Mar 19, 2012
169
Coventry
Hi, I think you need a full assessment done for your mum's needs, a social worker and GP/ consultant need to be involved to see what the best way forward is.......I would also phone the Alzheimer's Society helpline and get some advice.......it's no good the GP taking all medication away from your Mum and then just leaving you to get on with it, you need help, I'm not clear on what the home situation is.....I'm assuming you are living with your Mum and you are her carer?
There could be help with people coming in each day to feed and give your Mum her medication.......or is it time to look at a CH where she can be cared for by professionals.....it's very difficult when loved ones cry out all the time, it's distressing........fortunately my Dad didn't do this but others in his CH did.
Glad you came to TP I'm sure you will get some good advice on here x
 

AlsoConfused

Registered User
Sep 17, 2010
1,953
Please ask for a carer's assessment of your needs too. There doesn't seem to be anyone taking care of you ...

Maybe your Mum's at the stage when the "hospice at home" could help? "H at H" would support you both. Suggest you Google for your local hospice services and then approach them direct. The GP would normally initiate this contact ... but perhaps you'd feel better if you could get your questions answered straight away.
 

memaggie2

Registered User
Nov 9, 2014
60
scotland
You have my greatest admiration for managing to look after your mum at home so far into her illness.
Yes call the doctor out again and discuss how you are going to manage the final stages , do you want any help ? are you concerned that your mum is getting the best care ?, what benefit would there be for both of you if mum went into hospital or a hospice ........the hospice at home sound great but i know it wouldn't be available in my area, i hope it is in yours
what can the GP do to help give your mum some peace and you some rest . because if your mum is shouting at night you have to get some sleep or you'll be ill too

Make sure its what you want though , professionals have a tendency to take over sometimes
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,437
Dundee
I'm sorry your mum is at this stage. I know how hard it is. In my mum's last weeks we had district nurses who came in to wash her and move her in bed. They came in twice a day if I recall correctly. Some time in the morning then in the evening. Eventually we had Marie Cure nurses who did night sits. This was a god send for me as it allowed me to have some sleep.

Please ask your GP for a discussion about the end of life plan.

Wishing you strength.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app
 

Ginger Rogers

Registered User
Jan 25, 2014
3
Mevagissey, Cornwall
Omg thank you so much for the advice I've been given on here, this is the best I've had seems you are all right I'm not getting enough support and I'm going to call the GP this morning and discuss the things you have all mentioned. Can't tell you all how grateful I am. I do care for my mum and I want to carry on caring for her I just need help now. Thank you all x
 

Ginger Rogers

Registered User
Jan 25, 2014
3
Mevagissey, Cornwall
Seems I have a black cloud that follows me around I try to call doctors, dementia nurse or at the moment district nurses for my mums pads and nobody gets back to me. Dementia nurse we did have was brilliant we now have a new one who doesn't even reply to my calls? What's going on. It's hard enough looking after my mum worrying she's not getting enough to eat and drink etc etc without having to sort everything else out with no replies or switchboard operators who don't have a clue. All I want is a little help I want mum to stay with me so I can care for her in her final stages. Everyone I have spoken to who has been through or going through this get lots of help. I'm so stressed out and crying my eyes out again.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,833
London
You have to remember that a lot of people are still on holiday. Probably best to wait until Monday for a reply. Best of luck.
 

memaggie2

Registered User
Nov 9, 2014
60
scotland
There is an emergency number for social services , try to get through to the emergency social worker and tell them you need help NOW , continue to cry throughout the call if you can ....wish i could just come round and give you a hand........you WILL get some help ,let them know you need it

hugs

Maggie x
 

keywest67

Registered User
Mar 19, 2012
169
Coventry
I am full of admiration for you looking after your Mum at home in the final stages and I'm not surprised you are so upset and stressed, I agree with other posts that many people are not back at work until Monday and only operating skeleton staff until then, if you feel your Mum is in pain and needs treatment I would call the emergency number otherwise if you can be strong and hold out till Monday and then phone every number you have got for help, I'm afraid it's often those who shout loudest get action.......unfortunately, sending you a hug and strength