Hayley Jane, my partner was admitted to a Nursing Home on March 25th. Our story and feelings are very similar. Myself and the family all feel emotional wrecks. My partner is only 59. She wants to come home, and did so at home, when we ring and get to speak to her, she asks why we haven’t seen her. She accuses me of seeing someone else !!Yesterday we moved my dad to a carehome after weeks of stress with my 89 yr old mum trying to cope with him . Even with the Carers coming in 4 times a day it was clear things were becoming unmanageable. He was constantly asking to go home , packing books and pictures in a bag . He ventured out 3 times and had to be rescued by me , unable to walk a few yards he somehow found the strength to get across the road and far enough away to a set of traffic lights on quite a busy road. Although I know the move had to happen I am wracked with guilt and can’t stop thinking how he will be feeling. The home said he managed to get himself dressed , packed his bag and was found in the corridor trying to go home , he had got out of the bed on the side where there isn’t an alarm mat! I Think he’s-giving them a run for their money and he can be quite challenging. I’m o worried he won’t calm down and the thought of him being in a constant turmoil is just awful. By the time we took him to the home he didn’t really know me , my brother or my mum . I thought that would make it easier but it hasn’t , I’m an emotional wreck. I keep thinking could we have tried harder to keep him home ? Should we think about full time care in the home ? Sadly I really don’t think that would be a good move and this situation is now our reality. maybe I’m just too emotionally exhausted to see clearly at the moment .
Sendung love and strength to all of you managing loved ones through this evil disease at this awful time.
We can take reassurance from the kind words on here, and from our friends and loved ones elsewhere. There’s times when I think it’s just as hard dealing with the guilt and worry, as it was when at home living with the Dementia.
I guess it will be easier for us, once the lockdown is over. That’s what makes it harder for me and the family.
We love, protect and care. That’s what we do. That’s why we feel guilty, worried and anxious. I felt a massive sense of “weight off my shoulders” , not realising how much living with Dementia in your household takes over your lives. I felt guilty about this...
We have to trust the staff in the homes, it’s tough for them at the moment too.
God knows what they’re going through.
All I can suggest is to try and stay busy, speak to friends and family. Share how you feel, and don’t bottle it up.
I’m glad you’ve posted. If it’s any consolation, we’ve shared how we feel. Thanks for that.
Stay safe, take care. Thinking of you.