My Dad was 82 years old and in the latter stages of dementia. He was still living at home with my Mum until he got a UTI and lost the use of his legs. My Mum simply could not cope any more, so his Social Worker arranged for him to have two weeks respite care. He went in on Friday 16th January and up until then he was still eating small portions of food with encouragement. It was hard to get him to drink, but he would manage to drink little amounts. We went to visit him the next day and noticed the upstairs had an awful smell. He was laying in bed, but he had slid halfway down the bed, with his legs hanging out of the covers. His lunch was left on a table beside him, despite my Mum saying he needed assistance with feeding and drinking. We had to get some carers to lift him up the bed. He had no bed guards, they said he would be assessed for them but he never got them. His records were left on his chest of drawers and stated he became aggressive and had refused to leave the lounge to go to bed until 12.45 am and then was awake until 3 am. He only ate one spoonful of scrambled egg for breakfast. When we asked why they weren't helping him eat they said they couldn't force him, as they could get into trouble. He was still talking with us and making jokes. When my Mum went Monday she said he wasn't so good and the staff said he had diarrhoea. The staff said he wasn't eating or drinking. My brother went Tuesday with his little girl and both of them and my Mum were really sick the next day. I went on Thursday with my husband and youngest son. The staff said my Dad was in the lounge. We found him, I barely recognised him and he was sitting in a chair with a full china mug of tea and a tiny piece of cake. He could never have lifted that mug up. We realised his pad needed changing and it smelt the same as the other day. My Dad tried to stand up and his pad was huge and he had wet through to the chair. How long he had been waiting I can't imagine. We got two carers to shower and change him. When we went into his bedroom he could barely speak. They said he still wouldn't eat or drink and that he had probably given up. My mum managed to feed him a yogurt and a few mouthfuls of water. They said the doctor was going to get him an appointment with a Nutritionist in 4-6 weeks. The Nurse phoned up on the Friday and said his breathing was strange and she had called a ambulance. He was taken to hospital due to mucus in his stools and they discovered he had a chest infection and said his kidneys were in a terrible state. By now he could not speak and his eyes were vacant. The Doctors said his notes from the home did not make sense and that he should have been brought in much sooner. They also said if he recovered we might want to send him to a different home. My family of five were all really sick over the weekend. Despite the best efforts of the medical staff he died on Sunday morning. I just feel like we left him there to die. Why didn't we get help for him ? My Mum rang the home on Tuesday to ask about collecting his belongings and the Nurse told her no visitors were allowed due to a bug, when she asked her if it was Norovirus she replied it was. She also claimed to not have realised how ill my Dad was. We feel like he was let down by people who were meant to care for him. Sorry this is such a long post.