I finally got the courage to join the forum after months of deliberation, I don’t know why maybe it’s because I don’t know where to start here goes. My mother had been diagnosed with dementia and she had been displaying delusional behaviours such as people living in the house. She lived alone and I would get phone calls often and about her dead brother living with her, I was always very close more so than my brother but it come to a stage when she had a couple of falls and I wanted to go on holiday and I needed for her to go in respite which she did and she agreed to stay long term in October last year.
My mum was never the easiest person to get along with she always expected me to care for her and help out as if it was my duty and if I found her unreasonable she would always say I wish my mum was alive today suggesting I didn’t appreciate her, I always gave in and I’ve always tried my best. My dad died also three years since with dementia it’s seems a cruel blow to have to experience this again but my mothers behaviours are so much worse than his, since she has been in the residential home I have always taken her out at least twice a week she just loved getting out but she became very demanding not asking me to take her to her parents house but saying ‘take me’.
Over the recent months her delusional behaviour has got worse then came ‘LOCKDOWN ‘ she wants to go and live with her dad she says he lives around the corner my mum in 83 years old her parents died a long time ago I tried in the past to tell her but she went hysterical and I had to leave her distraught so I just try and go along with it best I can but she can get very nasty and she’s paranoid another resident is stealing from her and she constantly wants to leave and every time I go I get the same story and she gets angry with me because I don’t have the key to her dads house she has phoned me frequently from the home so I told them not to let her phone me when she is displaying this behaviour she makes me feel so guilty I was upset today and she said my tears meant nothing to her and she will never forgive me for not helping to get her out of there asking me to phone the police to help.
She has just started some medication which I truly hope has some effect as I have spoken to the care home manager and I think they are struggling with her behaviours, she has been very rude and nasty with them too and she said that i should take the calls from my mum as it’s a form of support for them to help deal with her behaviours but she reassures me they will persevere with the medication before any drastic measures are taken it’s my biggest fear if they can’t look after her anymore as we both agreed she wouldn’t last long in a dementia unit. I feel so upset and the manager says don’t take what she says personally but my mum has always had a bit of a side to her and I can’t help it. She says things to make me feel guilty not that I don’t feel like that already having a bit of freedom now lockdown has been relaxed and she’s stuck in there I don’t know what the solution is there’s probably no one I just needed to get my feelings out there sorry for the long post..
My mum was never the easiest person to get along with she always expected me to care for her and help out as if it was my duty and if I found her unreasonable she would always say I wish my mum was alive today suggesting I didn’t appreciate her, I always gave in and I’ve always tried my best. My dad died also three years since with dementia it’s seems a cruel blow to have to experience this again but my mothers behaviours are so much worse than his, since she has been in the residential home I have always taken her out at least twice a week she just loved getting out but she became very demanding not asking me to take her to her parents house but saying ‘take me’.
Over the recent months her delusional behaviour has got worse then came ‘LOCKDOWN ‘ she wants to go and live with her dad she says he lives around the corner my mum in 83 years old her parents died a long time ago I tried in the past to tell her but she went hysterical and I had to leave her distraught so I just try and go along with it best I can but she can get very nasty and she’s paranoid another resident is stealing from her and she constantly wants to leave and every time I go I get the same story and she gets angry with me because I don’t have the key to her dads house she has phoned me frequently from the home so I told them not to let her phone me when she is displaying this behaviour she makes me feel so guilty I was upset today and she said my tears meant nothing to her and she will never forgive me for not helping to get her out of there asking me to phone the police to help.
She has just started some medication which I truly hope has some effect as I have spoken to the care home manager and I think they are struggling with her behaviours, she has been very rude and nasty with them too and she said that i should take the calls from my mum as it’s a form of support for them to help deal with her behaviours but she reassures me they will persevere with the medication before any drastic measures are taken it’s my biggest fear if they can’t look after her anymore as we both agreed she wouldn’t last long in a dementia unit. I feel so upset and the manager says don’t take what she says personally but my mum has always had a bit of a side to her and I can’t help it. She says things to make me feel guilty not that I don’t feel like that already having a bit of freedom now lockdown has been relaxed and she’s stuck in there I don’t know what the solution is there’s probably no one I just needed to get my feelings out there sorry for the long post..