Feelings of despair

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Fifon, Dec 12, 2015.

  1. Fifon

    Fifon Registered User

    Aug 8, 2015
    23
    I have been in real pain with sciatica for over four weeks now. Very little sleep despite medication, acupuncture, manipulation. My OH doesn't realise this as is to be expected but as a concequence I'm finding it really hard to be understanding an patient with him. Friend lent me a TENS machine today and after struggling to do the shopping, take him out yet again for lunch, I used it and told him I needed to rest while I tried it out. He was not happy with this and kept coming into the bedroom saying that he wanted us to be together ( as if we are anything but) wouldn't stay with me, that he was cod ( would not put on jumper, so I eventually gave up and rejoined him. Got on and prepared dinner at which time he said are you coming to bed, he went off to bed (6.45) and was then up and down asking if the people had gone, how long had I been alone, and then said someone had said they were all coming. He carried on speaking rubbish and it broke my heart to hear him. Has now gone back to bed and I guess if I don't follow soon he will get up again. He will probably get up and sort of dressed in the small hours. I know all this us not new to most of you but although I have good friends I try not to keep sharing with them. Feel a bit better now I've got it off my chest so to speak and had a good cry. This Alzheimers is surely one of the worst diseases there is.
     
  2. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,035
    Fifon, am sorry you are in such pain which alone is hard enough to cope with. Am sure your husband senses your need but obviously can't help you. I hope the TENS helps when you can get to use it properly and rest. Do you have any sitters from Crossroads or anywhere to free up a little time for you?

    Wishing you better
    Sue:)
     
  3. Fifon

    Fifon Registered User

    Aug 8, 2015
    23
    Thanks for your good wishes. Am awaiting SS visit to do Carer's assessment. Have told them of the situation and the team senior will be told of this and hopefully will get back to me soon. Will check to see if there is a Crossroads or other organisation in Southampton are! Thanks for the suggestion
     
  4. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,035
    Well that's good that they know your need, hope you find a 'Crossroads' and they can offer you something.:)
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Fifon I am so sorry. You must be in so much pain and that makes everything so much worse especially with such little sleep. you must be exhausted.
    Do you have anyone who can help with the shopping - carrying any weight must be agony.

    Probs your OH can sense something isn't right. Sue is so right about some sitting time so that you can get the TENS working properly but more than anything it sounds as though you could do with a really good night sleep and a bit of a break. Have you had a carers assessment?

    Anyway my thoughts are with you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  6. Fifon

    Fifon Registered User

    Aug 8, 2015
    23
    Awaiting an assessment which is promised soon but I'm not holding my breath!
     
  7. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    I just put some useful local numbers on your messages for you xxx
    Pester adult services - tell them you are desperate and very unwell - they have to respond to help you because your OH is at risk and vulnerable and they have a duty of care xx
     

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