Im sorry, Im having a bad day today For the past 2 years Ive been so busy. Since Mum started showing signs of dementia (I think she hid it for a long time) Ive tried to get things organised for her, Ive chased up GPs, fought SS, cajoled her into going for appointments, torn out my hair when no-one was doing anything, checked out care homes, applied for CoP, payed her bills and started to sort out her bungalow (yet to be sold). Ive learned a lot from TP and so the first time she did not know me I was not devastated. At the same time, my husband who has peripheral neuropathy, uncontrolled epilepsy and cognitive/ memory problems started to deteriorate so Ive appealed against him being turned down for ESA, fought the doctors who said there was nothing wrong and said I was making it all up, pushed for him to have a second opinion, ferried him back and forwards to London for a specialists opinion and various tests (they now think there is a problem) as well as dealing with the day to day challenges of his condition. Also I have been working and we have been seriously understaffed (by 40% at one point) so that everyone was asked if they could work extra hours - and the answer was not "no" The upshot was that I just couldnt take it anymore and went for early retirement, so I finished at the end of March. Since then If been picking up the pieces of things that got left because I didnt have time to do them. Ive spent a whole day finding an NHS dentist who would be willing to take my husband on, Ive booked and taken him for appointments for audiology, to have wax removed and to the podiatrist (plus some more appointments in London). Ive booked and taken the cat for her jabs (so long since Ive been that she has to start a course from scratch). Ive been to the opticians and will have to pick up my new glasses soon. Ive had an interview with someone from the Court of Protection, Ive been to mums bank to register CoP and informed her pension provider. The house is a mess and loads of little jobs that need doing - like curtain rails pulled off the wall by my husband when he has an epileptic siezure and he grabs the curtains. The garden needs lots of TLC too and I have been trying to get weeding and pruning done. Then, last night it all hit me. Im losing both mum and my husband and Ive lost my work colleagues. I just wanted someone to reassure me that it was all going to be OK and there is no-one to do it. Im pretty much on my own. Yes I have a brother, but hes an invisible. I had to bully him to get him to go and visit mum before she didnt know who he was and I do not expect to see him again before the funeral now Sorry, Im not even sure why I have posted this.