It's just 2 months since I lost Peter. I coped well with the aftermath and managed Xmas OK, but nowvI am so lost. I cannot deal with sympathetic family and friends I just want to be left alone. Some days I don't even get out of bed. Just wanted to write this down as my head is spinning.
I think that you and I are in the same boat, Berkeley.
My dear Michael died seven weeks ago, and I, too, am spending a
lot of, (far too much) time in bed. I like being in bed.
I just can't concentrate on doing anything useful,
not even making a simple meal for myself.
I was his 24/7 carer for nine years; and when he died, at home,
he was holding my hand.
I appear to be cheerful, if rather subdued, to those few I meet;
but now, looking at my life, I find a blank sheet, stretching
away into the future.
After fifty two years together, we were almost fused into one
person; and I feel as though half of me has been torn away.
That sort of injury bleeds!
"This too will pass." Or so we are told.
Not a lot of comfort at the moment, but I do know it to be true.
We must just grit our teeth, and hang on through the
switchback of grief.
I offer a sisterly hug to you in our mutual sadness.
Leonora