• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Feeling useless

Con05

Registered User
Nov 1, 2018
11
0
My husband has cancer and mixed dementia (diagnosed October 18). Dad is 91 macular degeneration, mum 82 had stroke in March. Now I have my Aunt (mums sister) with what I believe is Lewy Bodies (Uncle won’t tell me which one). She is in such a mess, she thinks he takes her to brothels, all day she is saying he’s left her with a horrible man. Children steal from her. We went out together and she turned on myself and my uncle. A fortnight ago she was so distressed I bought her home but now she’s calling me constantly and crying. I’m not in the best of health and Uncle says he can cope but I don’t think he can. I’m sorry for the long post, just needed to vent my worries. I am still at work part time and feeling confused. Thanks for reading x
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,438
0
Scotland
Contact Social Services and ask for an urgent needs assessment for each of the elderly people and a carers assessment for yourself. Emphasise that you cannot cope with this amount of responsibility and that you believe your uncle is in a very vulnerable position. Stress the urgency of the situation or you will not be prioritised.
 

Con05

Registered User
Nov 1, 2018
11
0
Contact Social Services and ask for an urgent needs assessment for each of the elderly people and a carers assessment for yourself. Emphasise that you cannot cope with this amount of responsibility and that you believe your uncle is in a very vulnerable position. Stress the urgency of the situation or you will not be prioritised.
Thank you I will
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
16,147
0
South coast
You are dealing with so much already @Con05 that you cant possibly take on your Aunt as well, so please dont even consider it.

It sounds to me as though your Aunts dementia is quite advanced. Im sure you realise that the "strange man" that your Aunt says she has been left with will be your Uncle who she doesnt recognise at that that time, and the stories about her being taken to brothels and children stealing from her are false memories (confabulation). All due to dementia.

Yes contact Social Services, but I do want to warn you that as your Uncle is the next of kin and the main carer, if he refuses help Social Services wont push it. I think you need to encourage your uncle to seek help rather than taking on the responsibilities yourself.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,279
0
I think if your Aunts GP was aware of these issues then they can rule patients best interests, my Mum was very controlling over my Dad & I had liase with Dads GP & social worker to access help ; which Mum turned away!
It’s a mine field, but take care of yourself you have a lot going on.
 

Con05

Registered User
Nov 1, 2018
11
0
You are dealing with so much already @Con05 that you cant possibly take on your Aunt as well, so please dont even consider it.

It sounds to me as though your Aunts dementia is quite advanced. Im sure you realise that the "strange man" that your Aunt says she has been left with will be your Uncle who she doesnt recognise at that that time, and the stories about her being taken to brothels and children stealing from her are false memories (confabulation). All due to dementia.

Yes contact Social Services, but I do want to warn you that as your Uncle is the next of kin and the main carer, if he refuses help Social Services wont push it. I think you need to encourage your uncle to seek help rather than taking on the responsibilities yourself.
Thank you, for advice, yes I do realise that she is hallucinating but so worried about her. My uncle said he’s coping and refuses all help. He has lost a lot of weight looking after her. One cousin is in Hawaii the other in New Zealand dying from cancer she can never know. My mum n I are her only family. She rings me so scared bless her. I think this worry’s hubby as he is moderate at the moment with tablet controlling it. Once again thank you.
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
121,666
Messages
1,781,872
Members
72,654
Latest member
Kiwi85