Feeling sorry for myself.

[Cat27]

That's a lovely idea Zuzu

There's a lovely thread called Positives on here & everyone is lovely & welcoming.

Edit Chick posted while I was posting

 

[irismary]

I feel bad as I often feel sorry for myself too. I had to laugh yesterday when I found OH with 4 t shirts on saying he needed something to go to the floor - he meant some trousers! He laughed too as he is really very pleasant and happy but then I remember it is likely to get worse and worse - then what? How the hell will I cope?

Oddly it is sometimes the really minor issues that get me really annoyed - someone not ringing back about some work I need doing in the house, unwanted sales calls, I suppose I am "sweating the small stuff" perhaps to avoid where this is all going.

The donepezil has helped but we are coming up to 6 months now and I read that the tablets sometimes only help for 6 - 12 months. Life has been turned upside down and I am not sure what to do. We were discharged from the memory clinic back to the GP - who gave the next prescription on a repeat and said he would review in 12 months!

I had to see the GP myself and asked what the Memory clinic had said and to be fair he was a bit more helpful but basically it seems its a very DIY situation. Its awkward as you rarely get the chance to ask questions without OH being there - and he really does not understand.

Always good to read TP when I get the chance - which isn't as often as I would like but thanks to everyone out there - it does help.

 

[Grandma Joan]

I'm having a rubbish day too, so if it helps you are not the only one !

Treat yourself with something you really like, a film, bath, wine, CHOCOLATE !!

Remember you are not alone, we are all here together, fighting this horrid disease x

 

[Summerheather]

I don't know what I would do without TP now - I've learnt more here than anywhere else. I don't know any other terminal disease where you are just left to get on with it.

I went out today with a friend and had a coffee, it was lovely. Sometimes it's just great to leave the crazy house and the same conversation over and over.

 

[irismary]

Did some decorating today and found it quite therapeutic with the CD playing. Oh yes chocolate always helps! Thanks

 

[chelsea girl]

Hi!..its so frustrating when everything around you moves on regardless...it soon changes when they become a carer or have a personal experience with dementia.

Thats why ive done the dementia friends session and the dementia friends champion training..to run the information sessions in the community......i just couldnt sit back and do nothing..there is fabulous work out there..there are horror stories....
In 2021 the forecast is approx 1 million people will have dementia..

If every person on talking point emails or social medias family and friends neighbours to support dementia friends and dementia friendly communities we re doing something positive.

Do something nice for yourself....you matter too..
Best wishes

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app

I care for my mum at home. I have twin boys at home who are 18 and a wonderful husband. Mum goes to day care 3 times a week and respite every 3 months or so. Sometimes i feel that now im left to get on with it, i dont like to bother people and wish i could ask more questions. Social services have closed our case and i feel im coping alone

 

[Cat27]

I think that feeling isolated is so hard.

Nobody sees what I see with my dad.

 

[B narna]

New to this!!!

Hi everybody,
My son is 18 months and has just learnt to say Banana. That's why I chose it for my user name.
My mother in law lives with my husband and I and our two children one of 10 yrs as well as 18 mth.
My mother in law has just been diagnosed with Alzhimers. I am trying my best to reassure her. It's tough coz we have had to tell her that she can no longer drive. It's terribly upsetting. It's nice reading all your posts. You seem a very supportive lot.
I look forward to chatting more

 

[Cat27]

Love your name B narna

Welcome to TP.

 

[Barnsey]

It hurts so much to realise nobody really cares about how I feel.

Many days I feel the same. I even have friends that dont come round anymore. But TP is fantastic, always ideas,advice, and support available. And there isn't any right or wrong way to speak because everybody feels your posts, not just reads them. Big hug xxx

 

[magic800]

Having a cry while I read all the comments on this post. I feel dreadful today 90 year old Mil was rushed into hospital last Thursday having been found on the bedroom floor very confused. After 3 days trying to find a community bed they sent her home, trying to give her a and her partner more care package? Yesterday I get a call at work from the care agency my 85 year old Aunt was found on the kitchen floor taken to A & E very confused apparently sunday evening she thinks she has been to a fair ground and could not get off the rides! This is something she would never have done when she was younger and cannot leave the house now unless I take her. She is still there had her on a drip and still trying to find her a bed. I am waiting for a phone call most likely to ask me to fetch her home. The fall sensor she was wearing around her wrist clearly has not worked and I don't know what to do next!!

 

[lexy]

deleted

 

[Cat27]

People on here will know and understand how you feel, I do. Is that lovely black cat yours?

Hi no it isn't. We had an identical one that I miss so it reminds me of her.

 

[byrnedjp]

The longer you care for someone the longer the list of feelings gets...
I guess feeling sorry for yourself is a natural progression - im passed caring what anyone thinks now - I do feel sorry for myself sometimes , I also feel angry, resentful, stressed, exhausted, isolated ,helpless....the list goes on.
Problem is the longer you do this - the more you realize that the alternatives are poor or non existent
I had to stop listening to well meaning friends long ago .....you have to be a carer to realize the full effect it has on you - no one I know has come close to fully understanding the reality of it.

Don't feel bad if you are feeling sorry for yourself x

 

[Cat27]

The longer you care for someone the longer the list of feelings gets...
I guess feeling sorry for yourself is a natural progression - im passed caring what anyone thinks now - I do feel sorry for myself sometimes , I also feel angry, resentful, stressed, exhausted, isolated ,helpless....the list goes on.
Problem is the longer you do this - the more you realize that the alternatives are poor or non existent
I had to stop listening to well meaning friends long ago .....you have to be a carer to realize the full effect it has on you - no one I know has come close to fully understanding the reality of it.

Don't feel bad if you are feeling sorry for yourself x

Thank you.
I've cared before but this dementia lark is another league.

 

[Zuzu72]

The longer you care for someone the longer the list of feelings gets...
I guess feeling sorry for yourself is a natural progression - im passed caring what anyone thinks now - I do feel sorry for myself sometimes , I also feel angry, resentful, stressed, exhausted, isolated ,helpless....the list goes on.
Problem is the longer you do this - the more you realize that the alternatives are poor or non existent
I had to stop listening to well meaning friends long ago .....you have to be a carer to realize the full effect it has on you - no one I know has come close to fully understanding the reality of it.

Don't feel bad if you are feeling sorry for yourself x

Just wanted to say it's been good reading that I'm not the only one feeling like this. Other people think they know how you must be feeling & that you learn to cope but only someone in the same situation can really understand.

 

[Perdita]

Thank you.
I've cared before but this dementia lark is another league.

It sure is. It's when I talk to people in the outside world and 'normal conversation' seems weird that i realise just how all consuming caring for someone with this rotten illness is.

 

[byrnedjp]

The thing is there is no handbook on this - no right way or wrong way to care for someone - no process to follow ...someone connected to you has "changed" to some degree and they need help

I expect new feelings and emotions almost daily as it goes on and on - I may have the same conversations on a daily basis but sooner or later you realise you feel this way or that as a consequence of how its all progressing

I agree totally with the idea that nobody else "gets this" - you have to do it everyday to understand ...I think every carer has every right to feel how they do - good bad or indifferent

 

[chick1962]

The thing is there is no handbook on this - no right way or wrong way to care for someone - no process to follow ...someone connected to you has "changed" to some degree and they need help

I expect new feelings and emotions almost daily as it goes on and on - I may have the same conversations on a daily basis but sooner or later you realise you feel this way or that as a consequence of how its all progressing

I agree totally with the idea that nobody else "gets this" - you have to do it everyday to understand ...I think every carer has every right to feel how they do - good bad or indifferent

That is so true! Have my eldest son living with me for a few weeks until he finds a new flat. He was speaking with me about my husbands mixed dementia and said I didn't realise how bad John has got mum, why didn't you tell me ? So I said how do you tell a person what it is like to live with dementia? Most don't understand!!! He is lovely with John and said hearing it is soooo different from actually seeing it !


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[byrnedjp]

It hits home when the "health professionals" get involved..,
"oh you look well" - "everything here is so clean and in order" - " ill be back in a few weeks to see how things are going" (they usually disappear or go on long term sick leave)

.....you really are alone doing this no matter how much "help" they offer.

For every "health professional" that visits and ticks their boxes accordingly there is a carer who has spent the last week - sleepless - stressed - confused - angry - sad - lonely - etc etc

Its a solitary existence - undervalued underpaid -and if you don't scream and shout - under the radar

....it really shouldn't be like that