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Feeling sorry for myself.

Kazza72

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
202
West London
It hurts so much to realise nobody really cares about how I feel.
I know how you feel Cat, but on the upside this site is full if people who do care, it's also a great place to rant and pour your heart out...chin up, sending hugs x


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Chaucer 1931

Registered User
Mar 30, 2014
226
Sending cyber hugs too-and I agree, fellow TP,ers are much more supportive than those in the 'real' world could ever be! xx


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Goldi

Registered User
Mar 9, 2015
10
I know how you feel. At times i have got so frustrated with friends who just dont get how difficult it is to care for someone with dementia and have felt so lonely and unsupported. But i realised they nobody can understand really unless they have experienced it themselves. Thats why this forum is so useful. Everyone gets it and totally empathasises.

Hugs to you and know you are not completely alone.
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,297
Merseyside
Thank you.
I also think people are scared of knowing too much about something they hope to never encounter.
 

Summerheather

Registered User
Feb 22, 2015
160
Unfortunately people are blind to such a degree that they don't realise that this ugly evil disease desperately needs funding.

When it comes to terminal illnesses we are like the poor relation and it needs to change.
 

Girlonthehill

Registered User
Jan 1, 2015
32
Dorset
It hurts so much to realise nobody really cares about how I feel.
It is horrible when you realise others just don't get it. And they won't until,they have to go on this journey as well. Put your mum in a home, get carers, do this, do that, remember that she doesn't mean it, it's not her.
I have heard them all and it DOES NOT help?

You couldn't make up what we are going through so it is no surprise that others don't understand. Keep checking in here, find one good friend / doctor/ neighbour anyone who will let you rant or hold you while you cry. I have lost count of the times I have walked around the block in tears.
Big, virtual,hug
 

elizabeth20

Registered User
Dec 28, 2013
36
Nobody cares about me today either

I was at my mums really early she had a chiropodist calling. On returning home my husband wanted to know why I was upset. I said do I have to explain? Isn't it obvious? He said he didn't know and if I didn't tell him how would he know. He's a lovely man been married to him forever but he's like the rest of the family and has left mum to me now. No one sees the day to day hour to hour stuff. I don't think that they want to know it's easier to not deal with it.

We really do need to pour money into this disease before it's our children sitting up in the middle of the night on TP talking about us.

Lots of hugs to everyone who has had an awful day xxxxxxxxx
 

henfenywfach

Registered User
May 23, 2013
332
rct
It hurts so much to realise nobody really cares about how I feel.
Hi!..its so frustrating when everything around you moves on regardless...it soon changes when they become a carer or have a personal experience with dementia.

Thats why ive done the dementia friends session and the dementia friends champion training..to run the information sessions in the community......i just couldnt sit back and do nothing..there is fabulous work out there..there are horror stories....
In 2021 the forecast is approx 1 million people will have dementia..

If every person on talking point emails or social medias family and friends neighbours to support dementia friends and dementia friendly communities we re doing something positive.

Do something nice for yourself....you matter too..
Best wishes

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its a struggle

Registered User
Mar 10, 2015
66
66
South Coast - Hampshire
It hurts so much to realise nobody really cares about how I feel.
Awww Cat27,

I really do know how you feel. I am so fed up with people telling me what a lovely lady MIL is, and how well she manages - HAH!

I just don't mention it to friends any more. If they ask how she is, I say oh a bit up & down, and leave it at that.

Wouldn't wish it on anyone, but they will only understand if they end up in the same situation.

As other posters say, we are here for one another.

xxxxxxx
 

Stresshead

Registered User
Sep 13, 2014
96
I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes you just want someone to ask you how you are feeling and check that you're ok.

We're all so busy trying to do the best that we can and pretend that we're super heroes and totally in control that we get forgotten about and people just think we're alright.

I am also sick of people who have never experienced it or lived with it telling me how my dad is.........'oh, he's fine, he's just getting old, you can expect that at his age' etc. and thinking that they know everything. Just because he looks good (thanks to the hard work of me and my husband) they thinks he's fine. Well, walk a mile in my shoes and then you can give me your opinion !!

This forum is a great support from people who totally understand what you're going through and will always be there when you're feeling alone.

Sending hugs xx
 

SueShell

Registered User
Sep 13, 2012
395
Orpington
Cat27 I care!! Been in the same situation as you and the only understanding and helpful advice I got was from TP. Everyone on here understands - family and friends do not, hence TP is the only support I got when at the end of my tether. Big hugs to you Sue xx
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,297
Merseyside
Thank you for the support everyone. It's a real boost.

I'm just sorry that there are so many of us feeling this way.
 

Zuzu72

Registered User
Mar 19, 2015
19
Ideas for a quick pick me up

I care for my mother & it's been a bad day with her (she is at the cranky & abusive stage) and with feeling like I spend all my time trying to sort things out for her and my stuff gets neglected.
Anyway, I had an idea & in the back of my diary I've just written a list of 'Things that make me happy' (whatever your interests are), 'things that make life feel better' (more intangible things, like feeling satisfied when a job's done, 'Small things to pick me up' (like reading a mag, or a cappuccino) and finally, 'Things to remember' (like the fact you only have one life & can't keep putting it on hold for others). Even writing the lists made me feel more positive & I intend to go back to them when I feel a bit flat or that I'm getting lost in running round In a situation I have no control over.
I hope these might help other people too, because it's easy to forget yourself in all the running around.
That said, it's been nice coming on here tonight & seeing that I'm not the only one out there .
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
near Folkestone
I care for my mother & it's been a bad day with her (she is at the cranky & abusive stage) and with feeling like I spend all my time trying to sort things out for her and my stuff gets neglected.
Anyway, I had an idea & in the back of my diary I've just written a list of 'Things that make me happy' (whatever your interests are), 'things that make life feel better' (more intangible things, like feeling satisfied when a job's done, 'Small things to pick me up' (like reading a mag, or a cappuccino) and finally, 'Things to remember' (like the fact you only have one life & can't keep putting it on hold for others). Even writing the lists made me feel more positive & I intend to go back to them when I feel a bit flat or that I'm getting lost in running round In a situation I have no control over.
I hope these might help other people too, because it's easy to forget yourself in all the running around.
That said, it's been nice coming on here tonight & seeing that I'm not the only one out there í*½í¸Š.
Hello Zuzu, I do the very same :) also got a thread up called positives if you fancy a browse ?! We have some banter and chats on this thread just whatever comes to mind . It's hard enough dealing with dementia and so glad we have got TP to get support from likeminded ppl who understand xx


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