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Feeling sorry for myself.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Cat27, Mar 16, 2015.

  1. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    It hurts so much to realise nobody really cares about how I feel.
     
  2. piph

    piph Registered User

    Feb 4, 2013
    1,530
    Northamptonshire
    We care. Can't help much,but sending you cyber hugs((((()))))))
     
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    Sorry! I meant in the outside world.
    The support here is great.
    Thanks for the hugs xx
     
  4. Kazza72

    Kazza72 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    202
    West London
    I know how you feel Cat, but on the upside this site is full if people who do care, it's also a great place to rant and pour your heart out...chin up, sending hugs x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  5. Summerheather

    Summerheather Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    160
    I love this site, it's the first time I've been able to rant and say what I really feel.
     
  6. Chaucer 1931

    Chaucer 1931 Registered User

    Mar 30, 2014
    226
    Sending cyber hugs too-and I agree, fellow TP,ers are much more supportive than those in the 'real' world could ever be! xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    Thank you for the support :)
     
  8. Goldi

    Goldi Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    10
    I know how you feel. At times i have got so frustrated with friends who just dont get how difficult it is to care for someone with dementia and have felt so lonely and unsupported. But i realised they nobody can understand really unless they have experienced it themselves. Thats why this forum is so useful. Everyone gets it and totally empathasises.

    Hugs to you and know you are not completely alone.
     
  9. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    We care, and we understand....sending a big hug(((()))
     
  10. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    Thank you.
    I also think people are scared of knowing too much about something they hope to never encounter.
     
  11. Summerheather

    Summerheather Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    160
    Unfortunately people are blind to such a degree that they don't realise that this ugly evil disease desperately needs funding.

    When it comes to terminal illnesses we are like the poor relation and it needs to change.
     
  12. stu100

    stu100 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    70
    Birmingham
    I totally agree something needs to change its so hard to get sorted
     
  13. Girlonthehill

    Girlonthehill Registered User

    Jan 1, 2015
    32
    Dorset
    It is horrible when you realise others just don't get it. And they won't until,they have to go on this journey as well. Put your mum in a home, get carers, do this, do that, remember that she doesn't mean it, it's not her.
    I have heard them all and it DOES NOT help?

    You couldn't make up what we are going through so it is no surprise that others don't understand. Keep checking in here, find one good friend / doctor/ neighbour anyone who will let you rant or hold you while you cry. I have lost count of the times I have walked around the block in tears.
    Big, virtual,hug
     
  14. elizabeth20

    elizabeth20 Registered User

    Dec 28, 2013
    35
    Nobody cares about me today either

    I was at my mums really early she had a chiropodist calling. On returning home my husband wanted to know why I was upset. I said do I have to explain? Isn't it obvious? He said he didn't know and if I didn't tell him how would he know. He's a lovely man been married to him forever but he's like the rest of the family and has left mum to me now. No one sees the day to day hour to hour stuff. I don't think that they want to know it's easier to not deal with it.

    We really do need to pour money into this disease before it's our children sitting up in the middle of the night on TP talking about us.

    Lots of hugs to everyone who has had an awful day xxxxxxxxx
     
  15. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    333
    rct
    Hi!..its so frustrating when everything around you moves on regardless...it soon changes when they become a carer or have a personal experience with dementia.

    Thats why ive done the dementia friends session and the dementia friends champion training..to run the information sessions in the community......i just couldnt sit back and do nothing..there is fabulous work out there..there are horror stories....
    In 2021 the forecast is approx 1 million people will have dementia..

    If every person on talking point emails or social medias family and friends neighbours to support dementia friends and dementia friendly communities we re doing something positive.

    Do something nice for yourself....you matter too..
    Best wishes

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  16. its a struggle

    its a struggle Registered User

    Awww Cat27,

    I really do know how you feel. I am so fed up with people telling me what a lovely lady MIL is, and how well she manages - HAH!

    I just don't mention it to friends any more. If they ask how she is, I say oh a bit up & down, and leave it at that.

    Wouldn't wish it on anyone, but they will only understand if they end up in the same situation.

    As other posters say, we are here for one another.

    xxxxxxx
     
  17. Stresshead

    Stresshead Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    96
    I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes you just want someone to ask you how you are feeling and check that you're ok.

    We're all so busy trying to do the best that we can and pretend that we're super heroes and totally in control that we get forgotten about and people just think we're alright.

    I am also sick of people who have never experienced it or lived with it telling me how my dad is.........'oh, he's fine, he's just getting old, you can expect that at his age' etc. and thinking that they know everything. Just because he looks good (thanks to the hard work of me and my husband) they thinks he's fine. Well, walk a mile in my shoes and then you can give me your opinion !!

    This forum is a great support from people who totally understand what you're going through and will always be there when you're feeling alone.

    Sending hugs xx
     
  18. SueShell

    SueShell Registered User

    Sep 13, 2012
    403
    Orpington
    Cat27 I care!! Been in the same situation as you and the only understanding and helpful advice I got was from TP. Everyone on here understands - family and friends do not, hence TP is the only support I got when at the end of my tether. Big hugs to you Sue xx
     
  19. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    Thank you for the support everyone. It's a real boost.

    I'm just sorry that there are so many of us feeling this way.
     
  20. Zuzu72

    Zuzu72 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2015
    19
    Ideas for a quick pick me up

    I care for my mother & it's been a bad day with her (she is at the cranky & abusive stage) and with feeling like I spend all my time trying to sort things out for her and my stuff gets neglected.
    Anyway, I had an idea & in the back of my diary I've just written a list of 'Things that make me happy' (whatever your interests are), 'things that make life feel better' (more intangible things, like feeling satisfied when a job's done, 'Small things to pick me up' (like reading a mag, or a cappuccino) and finally, 'Things to remember' (like the fact you only have one life & can't keep putting it on hold for others). Even writing the lists made me feel more positive & I intend to go back to them when I feel a bit flat or that I'm getting lost in running round In a situation I have no control over.
    I hope these might help other people too, because it's easy to forget yourself in all the running around.
    That said, it's been nice coming on here tonight & seeing that I'm not the only one out there .
     

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