After caring for Mum at home and giving up my work (ironically, a nurse caring for people with dementia), I had to place her in emergency respite on the Saturday before Christmas. This was because she had not slept at all for just over 2 weeks. For a few months, she had been getting up 5-6 times a night, I would take her to the loo, and she would go back to bed. I managed that, though I was very, very tired, She started to fall, so I installed a pressure mat alarm. Refused to settle in a hospital bed downstairs ( have a downstairs loo and there was a commode too ). I could not count how often she got up in those last few weeks, but my son sat up for her on the night before she went to respite and it was 16 times in 10 hours. I agreed to pay for a 2 week stay as Social Services would not come and assess her till well after Xmas ( but would not give any timescale and still not heard from them yet and they don't know I placed her privately) despite several requests from GP and DN for urgent action. Extended this to 4 weeks which would have taken her to 16 th Jan. She is now on Mirtazapine 30 mg. having her dose increased gradually. However, Since being at the home her sleep has not improved one iota. I checked her written hourly reports with the manager yesterday. Maybe once a week, she will sleep in bed for 5-6 hours. That's it. Rest of time, they mainly keep her in a recliner in the lounge, constantly placing her back as she fidgets to get out.....tried all kinds to distract her, twiddle mist, button blankets, photos etc. Nothing works. Nothing. I've now had to take the decision to place her there permanently. I just cannot cope with no sleep whatsoever, never mind the all day constant vigilance required, as she tried to stand alone and would fall. There was just no let up at all. My Dad died 10 years ago after vascular dementia, so coping with all this has brought back so many painful memories of his struggle too, that I've worked hard to suppress and only remember him in his good times. So much going on in my head, Gulit deep, deep sadness, grief, and a little bit of relief that I don't have to feel that sense of panic of how I will get through it if she comes home..... I told the Home I will give them a final decision tomorrow. I know what it will have to be. Christ, life is hard.