1. seagull50

    seagull50 Registered User

    Dec 13, 2014
    32
    North Devon
    Hello

    I have vascular demenia at 53. Every single thing has been an effort since I found out and my head is so messed up I dont feel like I want to be here at all, selfish I know!

    Ive always been a carer for my 27 year old disabled son and I feel so tired mentally and physically. The care for my son has been taken over now as I cannot stress too much apparently. He is very hard work mentally I admit and it has helped. I just want to be on my own and left alone. Im not able to work as its to much for me in my low mood and I mess up all the time anyway. I will need to claim some benefits soon as I dont have much money left to live on but even this seems like a major operation. I recently moved to Cornwall st ives, and I just dont have a clue who to talk to about anything, I used to be so clever and there was nothing I couldnt do. I find sometimes this site very hard to visit as there seems to be a lot of carers having problems with their husbands, wives, mums or dads, and I think "oh god my family will be like that one day"

    Im sorry for all the negativity ......
     
  2. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,534
    North East England
    #2 CollegeGirl, Feb 23, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2015
    Please don't apologise seagull - god knows I can hardly imagine how you must be feeling. Frightened and mixed up I dare say, but that hardly sums it up does it?

    There are several members here that I know of, lovely, friendly people who happen to have some form of dementia, or are on the cusp of being diagnosed, or simply wondering whether they might be starting to show symptoms. And of course any one of us non-sufferers here at the moment may well develop dementia in the future.

    I'm sure others will be along shortly to boost your morale, but in the meantime have a big hug from me and be assured that you are not alone here xx
     
  3. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,280
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Hello to you and welcome but equally sorry you had to find us . It's so hard to been given such a diagnoses ( hubby got Vascular Dementia too) and it takes some time to digest bless . I would probably start by talking to your GP or the Mental Health team as well as an admiral nurse as they are really good in getting you the support you need! It's not all bad my hubby is 4 years into this journey and we still have lots of wonderful days sometimes we feel the need to vent amongst ppl who understand and I am sorry I it comes across as negative. There a lots of interesting and helpful threads on here too ! Please keep posting and let us know how you get on. Thinking of you x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  4. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    We carers are a moaning old bunch aren't we!! My mum was diagnosed with moderate vascular dementia last April, she now lives with me and I would not have it any other way. I love her dearly. This web site is my relief valve, after a rant or a moan I can go back to caring for mum with respect and dignity.

    If you are searching for help with benefits etc, talk to CAB and keep posting here.
     
  5. seagull50

    seagull50 Registered User

    Dec 13, 2014
    32
    North Devon
    needing support

    hello everyone

    well today I finally rang the benefit line as I am unable to work so moving forward slowly. I cannot find any support in Cornwall, im st ives. really need some support but unable to find, in process of changing doctors, hospitals which is not good as will have to see somebody I dont know next appointment. Desperate to get out this black hole!!
     
  6. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    Hi Seagull

    I am so sorry that you have found yourself in such a difficult position.

    Have you tried Citizens Advice?

    I had to change surgeries recently and it seemed so awful at the time as my lovely GP who has seen me through all my struggles left and I wasnt happy with the new Gps attitude.
    Actually it has worked out very well much better than I had expected and although it has meant I have had to start afresh I am feeling much more confident about the care I am getting.

    I get days when my head feels as though it is filled with concrete

    Have you looked up to see if there is a memory cafe in your area. I went to one today and it was very good

    Much support from one who knows

    Sarah
     

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