Hi, It will be a year on 4th February when my Mum went into a Care Home. My Dad died on the 4th March and my Mum died on 21st October. I thought I had coped pretty well with the usual amount of tears etc, but much better than I thought I would. Then a couple of days ago it hit me Wham! Bang! totally unexpected. I feel so guilty about letting Mum go into a Care Home, she never settled, she always wanted to come home and told us that she knew that none of the family cared for her. I keep thinking of her waving to us when we used to leave and she would always be crying - we did visit every day. I know deep down we could not keep her at home as she was a danger to herself but if I had known that she would only be in the home from the February to the October I could have probably looked after - we had looked after Mum at home for 3 years but it just got too hard getting up many, many times during the night with her making sure she was safe, checking she was clean, locking her in just to go to the shop 5 minutes away, making sure she could not turn the gas on, then looking after my family and trying to hold a part time job etc. etc.
Looking back I can honestly say I don't know how I got through those 3 years with both Mum and Dad ill. I know many people have spent more than 3 years caring and my heart goes out to them.
I have just cried and cried the last couple of days, I hope you don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself. I just feel that I let Mum down so very badly and I feel terrible.
Take care
Carolann
Looking back I can honestly say I don't know how I got through those 3 years with both Mum and Dad ill. I know many people have spent more than 3 years caring and my heart goes out to them.
I have just cried and cried the last couple of days, I hope you don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself. I just feel that I let Mum down so very badly and I feel terrible.
Take care
Carolann