• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Feeling so frustrated today!

biskit

Registered User
Mar 10, 2013
3
Hi
Feeling so frustrated today! Mum is in 7th year of Alzheimer’s. She has complete home care 24/7 with no financial help. She has no understanding of almost anything and suffers extreme agitation.
Her medication doesn’t seem to calm her at all and she spends the day and night biting her hands and trying to get up. She can’t walk unaided and is at risk of falling. I feel like I’m passed from pillar to post to get help and specialist support is this because I home care ??? She is absolutely climbing the walls with agitation and it’s heartbreaking ☹☹☹
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,441
N Ireland
Hi
Feeling so frustrated today! Mum is in 7th year of Alzheimer’s. She has complete home care 24/7 with no financial help. She has no understanding of almost anything and suffers extreme agitation.
Her medication doesn’t seem to calm her at all and she spends the day and night biting her hands and trying to get up. She can’t walk unaided and is at risk of falling. I feel like I’m passed from pillar to post to get help and specialist support is this because I home care ??? She is absolutely climbing the walls with agitation and it’s heartbreaking ☹☹☹
Hello @biskit, welcome to TP. You will find this a friendly, informative and supportive place.
Do have a good look around the site for information and if you were to start your own thread you would most certainly get some replies to any questions.
When it comes to communicating with a person with dementia the contents of this thread are often found useful, just click on the following link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
Agitation is often caused by an inability to communicate needs or feelings. Your Mum may feel that she isn't being allowed to do some things she may still be capable of doing and have lost all confidence and self esteem as a result. Could she be involved in even simple tasks like folding laundry or sorting socks - anything to keep her occupied and make her feel useful.
Have you spoken to the GP about the current agitation? Maybe an adjustment to any current meds would help.
Is the agitation present at a particular time, like evening? If so that may be something we call sun downing and that can be assisted by closing curtains early and keeping the home well lit as it can be shadows causing confusion and anxiety. Medication can also help with that.
If you feel that a one to one chat with an expert would help the helpline details are:-
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.

Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,046
Yorkshire
hello @biskit
that sounds an awful lot for one person to be dealing with, even with home care visits
if your mum is fully self-funding, there's little the LA Adult Services can add as regards her care package - you can organise whatever you feel is necessary - though it may be worth asking about day care and a sitter
have you had a carer's assessment?
has there been a recent review of your mum's meds as it does sound as though something different is needed - at the very least her GP and consultant, if there is one, need to be made fully aware of her current condition
to be honest, you sound in need of some support ie some respite as a break for you knowing your mum is being looked after in full time care, before you hit carer breakdown
 

biskit

Registered User
Mar 10, 2013
3
hello @biskit
that sounds an awful lot for one person to be dealing with, even with home care visits
if your mum is fully self-funding, there's little the LA Adult Services can add as regards her care package - you can organise whatever you feel is necessary - though it may be worth asking about day care and a sitter
have you had a carer's assessment?
has there been a recent review of your mum's meds as it does sound as though something different is needed - at the very least her GP and consultant, if there is one, need to be made fully aware of her current condition
to be honest, you sound in need of some support ie some respite as a break for you knowing your mum is being looked after in full time care, before you hit carer breakdown
Thank you for yr
 

biskit

Registered User
Mar 10, 2013
3
Thank you so much for yr reply. Have phone every organisation this week plus doctors etc and her meds have been tweeked and this has made a huge difference. Mum is much more settled now since Thursday, so I’m enjoying this calm x
 

Cleo87

New member
Jan 17, 2018
3
Hi
Feeling so frustrated today! Mum is in 7th year of Alzheimer’s. She has complete home care 24/7 with no financial help. She has no understanding of almost anything and suffers extreme agitation.
Her medication doesn’t seem to calm her at all and she spends the day and night biting her hands and trying to get up. She can’t walk unaided and is at risk of falling. I feel like I’m passed from pillar to post to get help and specialist support is this because I home care ??? She is absolutely climbing the walls with agitation and it’s heartbreaking ☹☹☹
Hi I can completely feel your pain my mum is in her 12thyear and sounds very similar to your mum two and half years ago she went into a care home, which over the last few months wasnt delivering the best care so after many months i decide to revamp a room and bring her out . Its now been 10 weeks which have been awful I have care in place but there isnt much out side help . We have a care home now that is happy to take her for days no specific times either which is proving to be a better option for us both maybe there might be a facilitie near you that offers similar .Like you we have no funding either. The situation is as you say heartbreaking.