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Feeling so down!

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
212
Shropshire
I don’t know if it’s me because I’m due my VitB12 injection but am feeling really depressed, have felt this way for last couple of weeks and watching OH in the shop today made me feel even worse. We went up town to get a bit of Christmas shopping done and even though he has got me a present he keeps forgetting and wanted to buy me something else. So I gave him choice of two perfumes, He started looking lost when I gave him choice of two so he picked up first one we looked at went to counter and he had picked up larger size which he didn’t have enough money for, so I took it back and got the smaller one. He just looked lost :(and the girl looked annoyed:mad: and I could of cried. Where has my confident man gone :( by the time we got home he had forgotten he had bought it. I just hate this sorry :oops:
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,387
Kent
It`s horrid isn't it @Sammie234

I remember the first time I had to help my husband buy me a birthday card. He was so worried about putting it in a safe place and then forgetting where it was and forgetting when my birthday came around I suggested he give it me early. He did so and I put it on display so he could see I had it. It was at least two weeks before my birthday.

The confidence goes.
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
13,016
England
It’s very hard and distressing to watch the man who solved every problem, put right every wrong, suddenly struggling to do the simplest thing. The time of year does not help, I found I couldn’t do merry and bright anymore or look forward to the coming new year.

There is nothing to be sorry for Sammie, it’s a hard job you are doing and we can only do the best we can.

Just make sure you take care of yourself too.
 

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
212
Shropshire
I just want to cry :( He is so looking forward to Christmas and then earlier he thought Christmas had been, he has just gone up to bed and I’m going now but I do feel tearful but will keep it together, daughter he partner and children will be down for Christmas Day and we are at sons for Boxing Day but frankly will be glad when it’s all over. Now I sound like Scrooge! Goodnight and thanks for listening :D
 

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
212
Shropshire
It’s just gone five in the morning and I couldn’t sleep, the dog isn’t well either, OH has given him extra treats and poor dog couldn’t hold it in. So glad at times like this I have tiled floors :eek:Just cleaned floors,phew it smells, sorry not the info you need. Border collie has always had sensitive stomach so usually make sure he doesn’t have many treats. I’m going to be shattered all day again now and have to look after daughters babies whilst her and partner buy presents for them today. Well onwards and upwards so they say o_O
 

Linda G

Registered User
Oct 23, 2017
56
Hi Sammie, I hope having the children will help lift your spirits. Not only are you dealing with problems of this awful illness, you also have a sick dog who is another member of the family to deal with and then we see all these excited people looking forward to Christmas when we just wish it would go away! It is so upsetting to watch the person who was so capable becoming dependent upon us. I spend many times in tears beating myself up that I have got cross with my OH when I know he cannot help himself. The problem is that we are much older now and get tired a lot quicker. We should be enjoying retirement but life isn't always like that and we have to just try and make it as happy as possible. I am sure you are doing a wonderful job, just try and be kind to yourself. Take care.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
681
Devon
I don’t know if it’s me because I’m due my VitB12 injection but am feeling really depressed, have felt this way for last couple of weeks and watching OH in the shop today made me feel even worse. We went up town to get a bit of Christmas shopping done and even though he has got me a present he keeps forgetting and wanted to buy me something else. So I gave him choice of two perfumes, He started looking lost when I gave him choice of two so he picked up first one we looked at went to counter and he had picked up larger size which he didn’t have enough money for, so I took it back and got the smaller one. He just looked lost :(and the girl looked annoyed:mad: and I could of cried. Where has my confident man gone :( by the time we got home he had forgotten he had bought it. I just hate this sorry :oops:
I feel so much for you because my situation is fairly similar. My wife has vascular dementia and is now becoming more and more disorientated with normal stuff. In vshops she finds it hard sometimes to work out how much to give the sales person, how much change to receive and to give personal details is hopeless. She looks to me to help then I’m interfering so I back off and I then feel I should help anyway because she will feel stressed. Telling the time has lead to many arguments because she has forgotten how to and affects all sorts of situations as you can imagine. Because she finds it difficult to explain herself she blames me for not understanding and now gets angry, shouts and gets generally aggressive. Only so much can we take and it takes it’s toll. I’m really very restricted now because I can’t go out on my own because accused of just thinking of myself so I have to accept the isolation or become very depressed myself. I don’t know about you but others don’t appreciate my or your situation because they don’t live with it day on day so we just have to get on with it. I’m here on my own now because I’ve persuaded her to go to church. Even that was a struggle because I’m accused of want to be on my own. Just wanted to connect with you for a common rant . Best wishes from a fellow sufferer.
 

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
212
Shropshire
I feel so much for you because my situation is fairly similar. My wife has vascular dementia and is now becoming more and more disorientated with normal stuff. In vshops she finds it hard sometimes to work out how much to give the sales person, how much change to receive and to give personal details is hopeless. She looks to me to help then I’m interfering so I back off and I then feel I should help anyway because she will feel stressed. Telling the time has lead to many arguments because she has forgotten how to and affects all sorts of situations as you can imagine. Because she finds it difficult to explain herself she blames me for not understanding and now gets angry, shouts and gets generally aggressive. Only so much can we take and it takes it’s toll. I’m really very restricted now because I can’t go out on my own because accused of just thinking of myself so I have to accept the isolation or become very depressed myself. I don’t know about you but others don’t appreciate my or your situation because they don’t live with it day on day so we just have to get on with it. I’m here on my own now because I’ve persuaded her to go to church. Even that was a struggle because I’m accused of want to be on my own. Just wanted to connect with you for a common rant . Best wishes from a fellow sufferer.
Thanks for that, it is hard isn’t it, I really just wish he was has he used to be but that’s never going to happen. My OH doesn’t like me to go out on my own either, makes me feel guilty if I do. Frightened me and the daughter the other day. She had to go into one shop and me another so told OH to just wait outside with the grandkids in their pushchair, I was only in a couple of seconds came out couldn’t see him anywhere. Relief when saw him coming back down the pavement with pushchair in tow. Never again. Next time me or daughter will stay with him.
 

rhubarbtree

Registered User
Jan 7, 2015
494
North West
Shopping is such a trial. Last year OH did know Christmas was coming and wanted to buy me something. So I took him into M and S and said I would like a new everyday watch. Any of those on display but not a white one, as I had a white one already. Well you know the punchline he purchased and wrapped a white one and I had to take it back for exchange but by then they had reduced the price and I could not find the receipt. No presents this year. But I have to buy for others and last week I thought he was walking his usual one step behind me in Lakeside but..... Security were good. Not like the blind panic when a child is missing though.

Family coming tomorrow and we will have Christmas dinner on Thursday. So for me it will be over early. Sigh of relief.
 

1mindy

Registered User
Jul 21, 2015
539
Shropshire
My daughter said this week she had been looking at photographs of me before her father went into a Home , my eyes were black , my smile looked false, and I looked ten years older . I know now I was ill. It's a very draining job and with little joy .AZ , sucks the life from the suffer and the carer. You need to get yourself to the Drs before you become too ill to be able to care . Keep a very open mind on resbite care to give you a break in the future. You cannot sacrifice yourself to this awful disease, you have a life to live .
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,897
Shopping is such a trial. Last year OH did know Christmas was coming and wanted to buy me something. So I took him into M and S and said I would like a new everyday watch. Any of those on display but not a white one, as I had a white one already. Well you know the punchline he purchased and wrapped a white one and I had to take it back for exchange but by then they had reduced the price and I could not find the receipt. No presents this year. But I have to buy for others and last week I thought he was walking his usual one step behind me in Lakeside but..... Security were good. Not like the blind panic when a child is missing though.

Family coming tomorrow and we will have Christmas dinner on Thursday. So for me it will be over early. Sigh of relief.
My dad always walks behind me in shops. I think he is scared to go in front in case he gets lost.
 

lilperson

Registered User
Jan 11, 2015
10
Taunton
My OH walks yards behind me so I have to keep turning round to make sure he is still there.
No idea what's wrong with me ATM just feel like crying all the time everything just seems so pointless. Have got the presents for family all sorted and for OH but have just done it on auto no joy in it anymore.
Keep telling myself we or at least I need to go out more is just soul destroying sitting indoors with no conversation is difficult though as all my interest in anything has gone, arthritis makes my hands useless for any sort of craft.....can still manage to polish etc though
This is a terrible disease not only is it robbing my OH of so much but me also.
Am so sorry for unseasonal whinge but just needed to vent or I will explode.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,897
My OH walks yards behind me so I have to keep turning round to make sure he is still there.
No idea what's wrong with me ATM just feel like crying all the time everything just seems so pointless. Have got the presents for family all sorted and for OH but have just done it on auto no joy in it anymore.
Keep telling myself we or at least I need to go out more is just soul destroying sitting indoors with no conversation is difficult though as all my interest in anything has gone, arthritis makes my hands useless for any sort of craft.....can still manage to polish etc though
This is a terrible disease not only is it robbing my OH of so much but me also.
Am so sorry for unseasonal whinge but just needed to vent or I will explode.
Yep I think a lot of us feel like this, It steals lives. Sorry you feel so down and I could whinge for England.
 

Hopeful123

Registered User
Oct 24, 2015
314
West yorks
My OH walks yards behind me so I have to keep turning round to make sure he is still there.
No idea what's wrong with me ATM just feel like crying all the time everything just seems so pointless. Have got the presents for family all sorted and for OH but have just done it on auto no joy in it anymore.
Keep telling myself we or at least I need to go out more is just soul destroying sitting indoors with no conversation is difficult though as all my interest in anything has gone, arthritis makes my hands useless for any sort of craft.....can still manage to polish etc though
This is a terrible disease not only is it robbing my OH of so much but me also.
Am so sorry for unseasonal whinge but just needed to vent or I will explode.
Hi lilperson, nice to 'meet' you. I know exactly how you feel, could cry a bucketful right now just thinking about it. It's the hopelessness of the situation that gets us like this even though I try take each day as a new one.I don't look into the future, wondering what things are going to overtake us, it's too frightening. It does affect you both, sometimes I think it's worse for us, we know what's happening and my OH seems happy in his own little world. I do hope you have a peaceful xmas
 

lilperson

Registered User
Jan 11, 2015
10
Taunton
Hi lilperson, nice to 'meet' you. I know exactly how you feel, could cry a bucketful right now just thinking about it. It's the hopelessness of the situation that gets us like this even though I try take each day as a new one.I don't look into the future, wondering what things are going to overtake us, it's too frightening. It does affect you both, sometimes I think it's worse for us, we know what's happening and my OH seems happy in his own little world. I do hope you have a peaceful xmas
Well today is another day and am feeling more upbeat as son is coming to visit. I wishyou a peaceful Christmas and strength for the New Year.
 

Linda G

Registered User
Oct 23, 2017
56
It just seems to creep up on you doesn't it. Last Christmas seems a million miles away. Popped to the local supermarket this morning. Firstly OH couldn't manage to pull up zip on his boots, then couldn't managed his seat belt. Was wound up before arriving at Tescos. Absolutely crowded, couldn't find anywhere to park so gave up. Petrol station full so thought will do that another time. Went on to Aldi's instead. Couldn't get all I wanted there but certainly not so crowded. Went into the village to pick up a couple of things, car park full but then saw a space and was verbally attacked by some young woman saying that she was going to go in that space. By the time we got home the only Christmas spirit I felt like was the sort you drink!!! Don't want to be a misery, but am sure it is because we just get so tired of thinking and organising life for two of us. It is just mentally exhausting. Back to normal soon (I wish). Don't suppose life will ever be normal again. I wish you all peace this Christmas.