I feel so annoyed with myself this weekend, I have struggled to be patient but have found myself really having to bite my tongue and have come very close to snapping at my husband more than once. I say I have come close to it but in reality I know I might as well have snapped because the tone in my voice said it all anyway. The crime? Absolutely nothing my poor husband can help. Just a few days ago I registered him for 1 day per week at a nearby day centre. I confidently ticked the boxes to say he needed no help with adjusting his clothing when going to the toilet, that he needed no help, nobody to wait outside the loo door etc. Just 24 hrs later it was a whole new story. My husband seemed to have lost basic understanding of how to undo and do up his trousers, and was struggling with his belt. Not to worry I told myself, we'll swap to the elasticated waist trousers I had ready for such an occasion. He was happy with that, but another 24 hrs passed and suddenly he was lost and totally confused about the new trousers and what to do (although elasticated, they have fly and button just like his normal trousers, the only thing missing was a belt - but this seemed to totally throw him). After almost day of him constantly worrying out loud about what to do in order to go to the loo and fiddling with his trousers, I had swapped him back to his usual trousers and belt by yesterday evening. He was happy as could be, off to the loo, no need for help with anything. Perfect! Great, I thought, we'll put the elasticated waist trousers away again until needed. This morning I left his trousers and belt out as normal and he dressed himself with no help. Big sigh of relief! But come the time he wanted to go to the loo, he had no idea how to undo the trousers and belt again! Then, after I'd helped him with that, he had no idea how to do his trousers up again, even though he'd got himself dressed less than an hour before. He has been going on and on about his trousers all day, and asking what to do when he goes to the loo. He even started undoing his flies and belt in the front room multiple times to check that he could - and not very successfully. I don't dare change him back to the elasticated trousers right now, the constant switching back and forth will just confuse him more. I have no idea why I am so uptight about this change though. It's nothing he can control. I just feel stupid that I've filled in forms that say he is ok to do these things himself and now, when he attends the day centre for the first time in Thursday, I'm going to have to change it all. Logic tells me that they'll understand how quickly things can change with dementia, but I still feel embarrassed that I have given information that makes it look like I don't have a clue about what he can or can't do. I am also now worried that he'll start undoing his flies at the day centre and end up being barred before he's barely started. I'm just so worried - I really want the day centre to work out for both our sakes. I hate myself for the tone I have used this weekend - I love him so much and hate to see what is happening to him. I should have been so much more supportive rather than worring more about what others will think of him. To add to the situation, my husband has a Memory Clinic appointment tomorrow. He hasn't been for a year, and I know that his abilities have declined greatly this year, not least in the past few days. Previously we've been able to point to UTIs as the cause, but that's not the case this time. I guess I just don't want to admit this decline is happening but I know that neither sniping nor burying my head in the sand will change anything.