It's late and that probably doesn't help ,but I am feeling so sad....I haven't posted for a while as I didn't want to bother anyone ...Mum is still with us although she is double incontinent, on risperidone for frightening delusions and hallucinations, which seem to be coming back again, thickened fluids , hoisted I full body harness for bed to reclining wheelchair and takes little pleasure in anything....I hate myself for saying it but what is the point ..her quality of life is zero and I hate to visit her and see her like this . each time I go I wonder what she will say or see and I feel that I am looking at a shell of my Mum...it's almost a year since she fell at home and was in hospital then NH ...My sister and I are going to her house to try and sort things out this weekend and I am dreading it to the pint I don't want to go....it feels like such an invasion of her life to decide what should be sold/thrown out or kept when she is still alive ...Tears are running down my face and I hate it Not even sure my husband understands how I feel anymore either ...it seems to go on and on ...so sorry for the rant ..I love my mum but she's gone really x