Feeling sad


Registered User
Apr 12, 2008
I went to visit my dad at the NH yesterday and found out he now is wearing jumpsuits because he constantly fiddles with his catheter (emptying the bag) and has taken to removing his incontinence pads and getting in a mess.

I just feel so sad that he has reached this stage and is now dressed (I kid you not) in something that Andy Pandy would wear. I know it's in his best interests and I don't object at all. I coped when the NH staff told me of Dad's other types of 'inappropriate' behaviour (I won't go into details on a public forum!) a few months ago but this latest episode is heartbreaking.

He pulled through an episode of heart failure last month, despite what appears to me to have been a massive misdiagnosis by a GP (culminating in a 2am ambulance trip to the hosptial), and now he finds himself in something resembling a clown suit. It would be funny if it wasn't so utterly tragic.

Thank goodness for TP - I searched the forum and found a thread with details of an online store that sells jumpsuits that look like normal clothes (can't remember the name of the poster but that you for sharing it).

What a way to spend your final days when you have terminal cancer.


Registered User
Aug 23, 2005
Hope this may be of some help!

"Dad's other types of 'inappropriate' behaviour"
When my Dad was admitted to an 'Assessment'Centre a few years ago, it quickly became apparent that
2/3 days after each male patient arrived, they would shall we say become very aware of their private parts - making sexual advances to Visitors and all females really. I believe there's a drug/group of drugs that may have this effect.

"He pulled through an episode of heart failure last month"
Please do not be offended but a few weeks ago, following a heart to heart with a Nurse at Mum's NHome,she called me into her office a few days later and mentioned that Mum's notes included YES to resusitation! This is NOT what Mum would want so the notes have now been changed. Just thought it might be something that may not have been brought to your attention!

Stay strong.



Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi needsomecake

I can understand the sadness. It's the complete loss of dignity in a man you've always respected. I can see the need to cover up the catheter and pads, but surely there can be a more appropriate way. I know how I'd feel if John was dressed in an Andy-Pandy suit.

I'm glad you've found the other thread, I was going to suggest it. It was Alfjess who used the clothes for her mum, and I know she was pleased with them.

I hope you manage to get something sorted.



Registered User
Feb 13, 2008
For some twisted people I am sure they could find it funny and laughable, but when its your loved ones it can hardly be anything other than funny.
My heart goes out to you and I hope you are able to find something more appropriate.
This desease really does strip each and everyone affected of their pride, dignity and much more....
Love AndreaX


Registered User
Nov 26, 2006
This is a link to the only website I could find with similar items. It’s an American supplier and the prices are steep but I’m sure it would be a starting point to finding a more appropriate alternative. There are some god-awful suits amongst this lot, it has to be said. :eek:


Forgive my ignorance, but the one which your Dad is wearing at the minute - is this under or outer wear?

Until reading your post, I had no idea that such suits even existed. :confused:

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Oh, needsomecake (is that a reference to comfort eating because I seem to be doing a lot of that myself of late?) ...:(

Not much to smile about is there? .... and I know I am going through great concerns with mum having a PEG fitted that she seems to be strapped right across her tummy to prevent her trying to pull the thing out ........

I had to draw attention to nursing staff in hospital today that mum is in days old trousers (after they finally dressed her again instead of leaving her in nighties coz it was more convenient:mad:) - I know damned well why ... because they are baggy and loose fitting and accommodate the tube ... all her lovely smart clothes seem to have gone by the by .....

It might not seem much to others .... but keeping their dignity is sooooo important and I so feel for you ...... hope you find some solution .....

Do let us know how things are, love, Karen, x


Registered User
Apr 12, 2008
thanks everyone

Apparently the 'Andy Pandy' suit belongs to the home, and I imagine it is supposed to be nightwear. I will find him something a little more dignified - he doesn't have that much dignity left as it is. He's never been particularly interested in clothes (comfort always uppermost rather than appearance) but even so...

Bless him, they put locking devices (sorry don't know any more details) on his catheter and he still manages to open it up at least a couple of times a day - all with just one hand! I have to admire his ingenuity at times. So the jumpsuit seems to be necessary. The NH staff said they nearly had to chuck out his recliner but thanks to some hard scrubbing on their part, it cleaned up sufficiently to go back in his room. The carpet is being cleaned (again) today.

Tender Face, I have followed your thread on your mother's treatment at hospital and along with everyone else was absolutely appalled. I hope you can get her settled as soon as possible and you can bring the consultant to account for his/her actions. The only way I got information about Dad when he was in hospital was to find out what day the consultant did his rounds and then park myself by Dad's bed to wait for him. No-one took the trouble to give us any information (and it was obvious that Dad can't remember or even take in any medical information he is told), we had to go and ask. The visiting times were carefully scheduled to minimise contact with medics and the nursing staff appeared to look on visitors as annoyances that had to be tolerated. The charge nurse was particularly rude to me on the day dad was discharged.

I will have to learn to be more like dad I think - if it's on my mind I will say it. I've had enough of taking other peoples feelings into account and choosing my words carefully because it seems like almost everyone will take advantage of someone who doesn't 'hit the roof'....

Anyway, it's definitely time for cake now :)