Hi, I'm new to this forum, but feel the need for help and guidance. My best friend of over 30 years - (She is 83 this year) is accusing me of stealing from her. This has been happening now for just over a year. The first time I was staggered and couldn't believe what she was saying to me. I was so hurt and felt cut to the core that she should ever accuse me of this! I am the only one who has been there to help her over the years as she doesn't have many other friends ( in face none that visit her) and has fallen out with one of her sisters and hasn't spoken to her for about 20 years - Her other sister she does speak to occasionally but she doesn't always see eye to eye with her. She has a few very kind neighbours who I know do care and try and help from time to time. My friend has always been a very independent person. She had a troubled marriage and divorce and brought up her son from the age of 4/ 5 who in his early twenties was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. She has had years of handling him and his viscous and vile outbursts on a dally basis and being sectioned regularly - this is still on going - her answerphone is full of these hateful messages. I have noticed the changes in my friend over many years and hoped they were signs of all the medications that she takes - She is disabled as she had a terrible fall in her late 50's and broke her leg in so many places she almost lost it. So she walks with stick.. but fortunately is still driving. She is also diabetic and has various other ailments heart, depression, strong painkillers and so on... I hope this isn't too rambling but I feel the need to give a little background on what my friend has enjoured for so many years... However, I know I have been a strong support for her and tried to be there for her - Even though I live in and work in London and she is in Surrey I have visited regularly taken her away for weekends and holidays and driven her to hospital appointments, done DIY jobs, shopping - the list goes on - but I was always happy to do these things for her. I try to call her every day or so as I am sometimes the only voice she hears. I suppose what I don't understand is the one person that has been there all these years she has turned on me, and no matter how I try I cannot convince her I would never take anything from her and only want the best for her. To refer back to the first time the accusation of stealing happened I just couldn't believe it.. She accused me of taking necklace (costume) jewellery she had one in a raffle at some local event. She started by telling me on the phone that she was really really bothered and had been looking for it for days - so I said I'm sure it was in the house and that I would visit at the weekend and help her look for it. I did this and found a necklace in a small bag behind her chest of drawers on the floor in her bedroom - no way would she have been able to see this, so I assumed it had fallen down and so delighted to say I'd found it. She thanked me and said at the time, this isn't how I remember it ... but I suppose it is .... About a week later while visiting her she produced the necklace I had found and accused me of planting it in her house - she had never seen it before and that I had the real necklace and she wanted it back! Of I course did everything wrong - got upset, shouted, cried, pleaded with her that it wasn't me. She was so upset too and said she was finding it hard to come to terms that I would do such a thing to her! I called the AS and this helped me and I hoped what they said would happen - She would forget this incident. But she recently accused me of stealing again and also brought up the first incident - She says she cannot forgive me an no matter what I say, she will not change her mind and she is deeply hurt it's like she's storing up all the incidents and then throwing all of them at me! - She's not forgetting them just adding to them! She is very muddled and saying really bizarre things like I have stolen a jumper from her and given it to my sister for Christmas! - and watches she bought in a sale and given them away as Christmas presents!! - The last visit was terrible (Sunday 12th Jan) and I'm not sure how to handle this.. She is not cooking a the right times - sleeping at the right times - constantly tiding up things - things - paperwork all over the table or kitchen tops - Food that has gone off in the oven and fridge..(Clearly been there for weeks but she says she didn't understand why is has gone off - it's only been there for a few days! I said to her how can our friendship go on like this - I don't feel I want to even go to the toilet for fear of her thinking my stealing from her.. She said she knows that I am her only friend and she's aware of the consequences of me not being in her life. To the outside world she seems to be coping as she is very up to date with the news, TV etc she is articulate and would appear (however incredibly cutting and hurtful). I have read a lot of information online but nothing really helps me understand that she on one hand appears to be lucid and rational and on the other so utterly deranged. I know this isn't my friend but her illness and therefore will not turn my back on her, but I really need some coping strategies to help me with this dreadful position. I would welcome any tips of what to say when she accuse me - just changing the subject or ignoring it she will find patronising and this will not help the situation... Thanks for reading if you've made it to the end ..... I look forward to receiving some help.