Esmerelda is right - you have to allow yourself to grieve this "loss". It has been said before on here, and I believe it's true: Dementia is an illness where we lose our loved ones three times. We lose them first to the illness. Then we lose them again when they need the full time care of a nursing home. And finally, we lose them all over again when they die. And each time, the loss has to be grieved. You are perfectly entitled to feel depressed at this time, that is your grief at what has happened/is happening - and don't let anyone cheat you out of that. Like all losses and changed situations, it
does get easier in time. Meanwhile, be extra kind and gentle with yourself.
And that goes for you too Chuggalug!