Hi, my first post and new to this forum and seeking advice. I have been the main carer for my Dad (72 yrs and has vascular dementia) for the last 2 years. I can just about cope as he is still fairly independent and we have had a 12 month lockdown where I couldn't go anywhere and could just focus on him mainly. I do his washing, shopping, checking in on him daily and manage his hospital/doctors appointments to the best of my ability. I take him driving as his driving licence has been revoked and sometimes have to go & see him in the night when he calls me because he doesn't know where he is and sometimes he has fallen. I try and manage his finances to the best of my ability too. I have my own business, two (fairly grown up kids) and a very supportive partner who helps me as much as he can but also works long hours. My sister and dad's partner/friend help when they can, but, live far away and they just announce when they can help rather than offering to give me planned time out. My uncle (dad's brother) is very supportive too, however, has his own life and family and has said it will be too much for him to cope with if I go away for more than a day.
I want to try and organise a private carer to help me out and I also want to go on holiday with my family in June for two weeks which, at the moment, seems impossible as not only do I have to cover work, find someone to care for our two dogs, but, also make sure that Dad is looked after whilst I am away. I know that I will harbour anger & resentment if this holiday does not happen and I don't want to feel that way.
I know eventually that we will have to find a residential home for him, but, I don't think we are at that stage yet. However, Dad is only managing because of the support that I give and it's becoming too much. Not sure what to do for the best or how to find a suitable private carer. With an agency, there is so much inconsistency and I want to find someone Dad can trust and get on with so it doesn't seem so much like care as he doesn't think that he needs it right now. Am I dreaming of the impossible or has anyone find this healthy (ish) balance? Thanks for reading!
I want to try and organise a private carer to help me out and I also want to go on holiday with my family in June for two weeks which, at the moment, seems impossible as not only do I have to cover work, find someone to care for our two dogs, but, also make sure that Dad is looked after whilst I am away. I know that I will harbour anger & resentment if this holiday does not happen and I don't want to feel that way.
I know eventually that we will have to find a residential home for him, but, I don't think we are at that stage yet. However, Dad is only managing because of the support that I give and it's becoming too much. Not sure what to do for the best or how to find a suitable private carer. With an agency, there is so much inconsistency and I want to find someone Dad can trust and get on with so it doesn't seem so much like care as he doesn't think that he needs it right now. Am I dreaming of the impossible or has anyone find this healthy (ish) balance? Thanks for reading!