1. Q&A: "Loneliness and isolation" - Tuesday 30 Oct, 2-3pm

    Are you experiencing loneliness and isolation? Do you care for someone with dementia or have dementia yourself? We are here to answer your questions on this emotive topic. Our next expert Q&A will be hosted by Anne from our Helpline team. She will be answering your questions on Tuesday 30 October from 2-3pm. Want to ask questions in advance, or don’t think you can make it? You can either post questions here or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on Tuesday 30th of October from 2-3 pm.

    Pop by and post your questions now and we'll answer them on Tuesday.

Feeling overwhelmed

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by figueredo11, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. figueredo11

    figueredo11 Registered User

    Jan 4, 2016
    Hi, im new to this. Im looking after my Mum, desperately trying to keep her at home; to satisfy both of our wishes. Not in great health myself following major surgery 4 yrs ago. Basically, Mum needs 24/7 care following deterioration in Jan. I have lost my job but do need to work but just cant see that happening . Today, i put her back to bed after lunch as she seemed very tired; she has bn more tired these past few weeks . 20 mins later, she is on floor, incontinent of faeces.She had sellotape and was putting it all over the floor. I couldn't get her up so had to call for an ambulance to help me. I sorted Mum, cleaned up and she is resting in bed. I have just come down for drink and a cry and she has gotten out of bed looking for me in my bedroom . She is talking but in riddles. I just feel so sad and overwhelmed . She is probably end stages, diagnosed about 4 _5 yrs ago with Vascular dementia . She cant do anything for herself although she can still feed herself. Really poor mobility so at risk of falling. Im sad for my beautiful Mum and i miss her. Im trying to treasure this precious time together cause i know things can only get worse.
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    Hello @figueredo11 and welcome to the Forum.

    I'm so sorry to read about your mum. It is indeed so terribly sad. I'm glad you've found this forum though. I have no doubt that your will get lots of support here. Please keep posting and let us know how things are. This is a great place to just share your feelings and concerns. There will always be someone around to listen.

    Wishing you strength.
  3. figueredo11

    figueredo11 Registered User

    Jan 4, 2016
    Thank you Izzy, hoping ill be stronger tomorrow.
  4. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    This change in your mum

    Is it sudden. If it is, it could be that she has an infection which can cause so many difficulties for you both

    May I suggest to get the GP to check her over

    What support do you have? Do you have carers coming in to give you a break?

    My heart goes out to you, not helpful to know that I know, but hopefully knowing that someone (TP) is listening may help
  5. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    Lincoln, UK
    Morning @figueredo11 I'm so sorry about your mum and you too of course. It is such an awful thing, this disease. I'm especially concerned as you say your own health is not good and this situation is bound to be causing so much stress. Are you looking after mum alone? If so then I do think you need help. I think you need to get the doctor to see her firstly. I know and completely understand your wish to keep mum at home but - and I don't wish in any way to upset you - perhaps the time has come to consider residential care? My own mum was admitted to a CH 2 years ago and although it broke my heart, it was the best thing for her. She continues to be wonderfully cared for although she is, inevitably, deteriorating. If you don't feel you can go down this road yet, please consider home carers? TP helps me so much and I hope you will continue to use this forum. You will find nothing but genuine care and support from people who understand what you are going through. You and mum are in my thoughts.

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