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Feeling overwhelmed

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by JanMary55, May 16, 2018.

  1. JanMary55

    JanMary55 New member

    May 16, 2018
    3
    Hi, at this moment in time I feel completely overwhelmed..lost..really angry....and so, so sad!!

    Yesterday went to the Drs, for the results of my husbands brain scan. He is 56. A couple of months ago he had a cough and cold, then suddenly struggled to stand up, got confused,was shuffling and wet himself. a visit to the Drs said that he had the flu, but they were concerned about the shuffling, and his legs and feet were very cold. They ordered a CT scan, and an Ultrasound as a precaution. The following day he was much better, definitely not the flu then!

    We got the results yesterday which confirmed our worst nightmare... In the Drs words 'the theory supports the case for Mixed Dementia'. I personally thought that he might have Parkinsons, as his current symptoms seem to echo that. I am now wondering if he has Lewy Body Dementia, as I believe the symptoms are similar?
    I personally think that he has always had some form of what would now be classed as a learning disability, when we were at school in the sixties, you were either bright or classed as couldn't be bothered, in his case he was told he was a dunce and would never amount to much. A dreadful stigma to place on a child. He has always struggled with reading and writing, however he now has almost 40 years of working as an engineer under his belt. He tends to learn by repetition, whether or not his struggles with reading etc, are in any way linked to his present condition is a question I need to ask next week at his first Memory assessment.

    We can't get a Neurology appointment until August, and so at the moment he is still driving, working full time and also doing call outs with his job. I am so terrified of what the future holds for us, emotionally, physically and financially. We have no savings,as we have been paying a Mortgage in Spain for the last 10 years, as that was here we were going to live in the not too distant future. I feel as though our future is now non-existent.

    So sorry for the long post, but any help or advice would be most welcome xx
     
  2. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    1,926
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    Hi @JanMary55 , I am so sorry you feel overwhelmed by the diagnosis and the worries about your future.
    If you are not convinced that the doctors' diagnosis is correct, couldn't you talk to your husband's GP about your doubts?
    They might not to have taken into the due consideration the symptoms you have listed .
    You write " he is still driving, working full-time and also doing call outs with his job". How does he cope with all that?
    Is he still leading a reasonably normal life?
    As I read here on TP, a diagnosis of dementia does not mean things will get awfully worse in a few days' time.
    You may have time to make decisions and organize your life.
     
  3. JanMary55

    JanMary55 New member

    May 16, 2018
    3
     
  4. JanMary55

    JanMary55 New member

    May 16, 2018
    3
    Hi @Margerita,
    It's not that I think the Dr is wrong, the diagnosis just took us by surprise, and the more that I read, I think that the possibility is that it is LBD. We will obviously know more after we see the Neurologist in August.
    My biggest short term concern is his work. At the moment he is able to work full time, but I can see him becoming increasingly frustrated and he tires much quicker now than even 3 months ago. He works with noxious gases, which is where my concern lies, if he forgets a procedure, or becomes distracted it could be potentially life threatening,not just for him, but anyone in the immediate vicinity.
     
  5. nae sporran

    nae sporran Registered User

    Oct 29, 2014
    4,282
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP JanMary55. I'm sorry you and your husband have to deal with so much uncertainty and heartbreak when you were planning your retirement together. My partner has Vascular Dementia, so not too sure about mixed dementia or Parkinson's. I hope you will get all the information you need from the memory assessment, but https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia should give you some information and hopefully help to ask the right questions.
    I would also recommend finding a memory café and a cares group for some more personal and local support on top of the great advice and support you will get here.
    http://www.memorycafes.org.uk/#!/search and https://carers.org/ should take you to the right place.
     
  6. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    321
    Sweetheart, I am so sorry about this. You will probably find that any changes are very gradual and give you both time to adjust. His job sounds demanding anyway, not surprised he gets tired and for someone almost written off by the education system, he has done so well. With you all the way. I had no idea my OH had dementia until he was sent for a scan for concussion after a fall .. and they came back with that news ... I was so shocked I could hardly speak. All my sympathy. Thank you for posting and please keep talking to us.
     

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