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Feeling low

SophieAnn

Registered User
Apr 16, 2015
24
Burton
Hi everyone I've not posted for a while this may sound a bit odd but can someone reply with their favourite jokes so I can cheer up a bit. Thanks.
 

Alison N

Registered User
Jan 3, 2015
212
Surrey
Hi SophieAnn

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. It just creeps up doesn't it? I can never remember jokes but here is one I heard yesterday.

A man walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a packet of helicopter crisps. The man behind the bar said 'we have sold out of helicopter crisps but we have plane'. It will probably make you groan.

I hope someone will be along shortly with more.
 

SophieAnn

Registered User
Apr 16, 2015
24
Burton
Hi SophieAnn

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. It just creeps up doesn't it? I can never remember jokes but here is one I heard yesterday.

A man walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a packet of helicopter crisps. The man behind the bar said 'we have sold out of helicopter crisps but we have plane'. It will probably make you groan.

I hope someone will be along shortly with more.
Haha thank you
 

Suzanna1969

Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
346
Essex
I don't know many jokes that are suitable for minors I'm afraid (although realistically you probably know more rude ones than I do!)

But here are a few clean ones...


I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.


I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high.
She looked surprised.


Doctor: "I am not exactly sure of the cause of your illness. I think it could be due to alcohol."
Patient: "That's ok. I will come back when you are sober."


My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"
I said, "Probably failing my driving test."



Sorry.......
 

DomC

Registered User
Jul 16, 2015
22
I have just got back from London.
I had an appointment at The Savoy. It looks lovely…all Christmassy.
There is a big chess tournament being held there....
As I was leaving, loads of the competitors were sitting around in the foyer talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play.
It was obvious a few of them had had a bit to drink and they started getting louder and louder until finally, the hotel manager got the hump and asked them all to leave.
I suggested to him that instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy.
He said : "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer"

Sorry!!
 

SophieAnn

Registered User
Apr 16, 2015
24
Burton
I don't know many jokes that are suitable for minors I'm afraid (although realistically you probably know more rude ones than I do!)

But here are a few clean ones...


I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.


I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high.
She looked surprised.


Doctor: "I am not exactly sure of the cause of your illness. I think it could be due to alcohol."
Patient: "That's ok. I will come back when you are sober."


My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"
I said, "Probably failing my driving test."



Sorry.......
Haha I love them might have to use them at some point haha


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
 

SophieAnn

Registered User
Apr 16, 2015
24
Burton
I have just got back from London.
I had an appointment at The Savoy. It looks lovely…all Christmassy.
There is a big chess tournament being held there....
As I was leaving, loads of the competitors were sitting around in the foyer talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play.
It was obvious a few of them had had a bit to drink and they started getting louder and louder until finally, the hotel manager got the hump and asked them all to leave.
I suggested to him that instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy.
He said : "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer"

Sorry!!
Haha it took me a while to get it haha not gonna lie but I like that!


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point