1. SophieAnn

    SophieAnn Registered User

    Apr 16, 2015
    24
    Burton
    Hi everyone I've not posted for a while this may sound a bit odd but can someone reply with their favourite jokes so I can cheer up a bit. Thanks.
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,319
    Female
    South coast
  3. Alison N

    Alison N Registered User

    Jan 3, 2015
    207
    Surrey
    Hi SophieAnn

    I'm sorry you are feeling so low. It just creeps up doesn't it? I can never remember jokes but here is one I heard yesterday.

    A man walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a packet of helicopter crisps. The man behind the bar said 'we have sold out of helicopter crisps but we have plane'. It will probably make you groan.

    I hope someone will be along shortly with more.
     
  4. SophieAnn

    SophieAnn Registered User

    Apr 16, 2015
    24
    Burton
    Haha thank you
     
  5. SophieAnn

    SophieAnn Registered User

    Apr 16, 2015
    24
    Burton
  6. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,765
    Merseyside
  7. SophieAnn

    SophieAnn Registered User

    Apr 16, 2015
    24
    Burton
  8. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    I don't know many jokes that are suitable for minors I'm afraid (although realistically you probably know more rude ones than I do!)

    But here are a few clean ones...


    I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
    But when I got home, all the signs were there.


    I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high.
    She looked surprised.


    Doctor: "I am not exactly sure of the cause of your illness. I think it could be due to alcohol."
    Patient: "That's ok. I will come back when you are sober."


    My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"
    I said, "Probably failing my driving test."



    Sorry.......
     
  9. DomC

    DomC Registered User

    Jul 16, 2015
    22
    I have just got back from London.
    I had an appointment at The Savoy. It looks lovely…all Christmassy.
    There is a big chess tournament being held there....
    As I was leaving, loads of the competitors were sitting around in the foyer talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play.
    It was obvious a few of them had had a bit to drink and they started getting louder and louder until finally, the hotel manager got the hump and asked them all to leave.
    I suggested to him that instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy.
    He said : "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer"

    Sorry!!
     
  10. SophieAnn

    SophieAnn Registered User

    Apr 16, 2015
    24
    Burton
    Haha I love them might have to use them at some point haha


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  11. SophieAnn

    SophieAnn Registered User

    Apr 16, 2015
    24
    Burton
    Haha it took me a while to get it haha not gonna lie but I like that!


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     

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