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Feeling lost :(

Annie J46

Registered User
Jul 6, 2015
4
Hi All,

My name is Ann and my Mum is 89. I'm worried as she has recently started saying that whist she was on holiday someone has been at home and changed her cooker, washing machine, fridge, bed, chest of drawers and multiple other items. My brother lives with her and none of these things have been replaced. Now she refuses to sleep on the bed so I have had to buy a new one.
I have spoken to her doctor and she has sent a referral to the memory clinic. Is this the right course of action and is there something I should be doing or saying as both my Mum and I are frustrated.
I hope someone can help.

Thanks in advance, Ann
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,643
Kent
Hello Ann

Welcome to talking Point . I hope you find it helpful and supportive.

It sounds as if your mum no longer recognises her home. It happened to my mother too.

She went to the day care centre and when the transport brought her home she said `Why have they brought me here? `
When I told her they had brought her home, she said `What home? `

It sounds as if your mother has the same problem.

Please don`t waste money buying new things. If your mum says someone has changed things, perhaps you could tell her they old one was broken so you had to change it. I know it`s not the truth but if it calms her it will be justified.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,987
West Hertfordshire
If this is all of a sudden I'd be asking her GP to do a broad spectrum urine test.

Quite often a urine infection can cause confusion ( and delirium) and can be easily cured. Dehydration can be a factor, make sure she drinks plenty.



As suggested above, just say you bought the new one because.....We call them love lies- we tell great big fat fibs, but they keep our loved ones happy.

rather than argue abut the holiday that she didn't go on ( or did she?) , ask her about it, did she enjoy it? What did she see, what did she do? where did she stay.... etc etc.

Talk it out basically!
 
Last edited:

Annie J46

Registered User
Jul 6, 2015
4
Thank You

Welcome to talking Point . I hope you find it helpful and supportive.

It sounds as if your mum no longer recognises her home. It happened to my mother too.

She went to the day care centre and when the transport brought her home she said `Why have they brought me here? `
When I told her they had brought her home, she said `What home? `

It sounds as if your mother has the same problem.

Please don`t waste money buying new things. If your mum says someone has changed things, perhaps you could tell her they old one was broken so you had to change it. I know it`s not the truth but if it calms her it will be justified.
Thanks so much, I really appreciate your help - even if it has made me cry ;)
 

Annie J46

Registered User
Jul 6, 2015
4
Thanks

:)
If this is all of a sudden I'd be asking her GP to do a broad spectrum urine test.

Quite often a urine infection can cause confusion ( and delirium) and can be easily cured. Dehydration can be a factor, make sure she drinks plenty.



As suggested above, just say you bought the new one because.....We call them love lies- we tell great big fat fibs, but they keep our loved ones happy.

rather than argue abut the holiday that she didn't go on ( or did she?) , ask her about it, did she enjoy it? What did she see, what did she do? where did she stay.... etc etc.

Talk it out basically!
Thanks - I speak with her Doctor, who is very supportive x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,608
South coast
Im glad your GP is supportive. Getting her referred to the memory clinic seems a very good thing to do IMO.
Mum was convinced that she lived with a school above her and the children used to make a racket going up and down the stairs and they used to come in and move all her furniture around. She lived in a bungalow.
 

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