Hi, after 3 years fighting the inevitable side by side with my Mum. Life has took a turn that I wasn’t expecting. My mother collapsed and died suddenly a few weeks ago in the Care Home that she had started to settle in. After a couple of years of total chaos managing at home with various day care and agency support then the use of the mental health act things had started to be better.
The last 6 months has seen a settled period, being taken out loads, improved personal relationships due to the pressures of home being removed.
Then an out of character fall and a broken and replaced hip. Back at the Care Home and improving her mobility then a pulmonary embolism and gone.
In some ways I’m relieved that Mum still knew me and her grandchildren rather than past this point but I’m devastated. When the call came I just knew what it was due to the time of evening. I managed to get there and hold her hand at the last moments but it was so traumatic I’m going over and over what I witnessed. As Mum was pretty fit there was no DNAR in place although she’d always said she didn’t want messing around with. Therefore paramedics in attendance had no choice but to attempt to revive. They were doing their job and I admire them but I couldn’t leave and now can’t shift the vision from my mind.
I work in health yet missed this. Due to the operation on hip and the cause being linked there is also an inquest to be had.
I haven’t been able to return to work yet as it’s so similar to what I do that it’s just to difficult for me. Trying to be busy but it’s constantly on my mind, invading my attempts at sleep, dominating my conversations.
Unsurprisingly the people that ran a mile during the hardest of times now have opinions and enquiries, mostly financially related.
Not asking anything other than getting it off my chest.
The last 6 months has seen a settled period, being taken out loads, improved personal relationships due to the pressures of home being removed.
Then an out of character fall and a broken and replaced hip. Back at the Care Home and improving her mobility then a pulmonary embolism and gone.
In some ways I’m relieved that Mum still knew me and her grandchildren rather than past this point but I’m devastated. When the call came I just knew what it was due to the time of evening. I managed to get there and hold her hand at the last moments but it was so traumatic I’m going over and over what I witnessed. As Mum was pretty fit there was no DNAR in place although she’d always said she didn’t want messing around with. Therefore paramedics in attendance had no choice but to attempt to revive. They were doing their job and I admire them but I couldn’t leave and now can’t shift the vision from my mind.
I work in health yet missed this. Due to the operation on hip and the cause being linked there is also an inquest to be had.
I haven’t been able to return to work yet as it’s so similar to what I do that it’s just to difficult for me. Trying to be busy but it’s constantly on my mind, invading my attempts at sleep, dominating my conversations.
Unsurprisingly the people that ran a mile during the hardest of times now have opinions and enquiries, mostly financially related.
Not asking anything other than getting it off my chest.
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