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Feeling guilty

Cheekycow

Registered User
Feb 8, 2016
15
I took mum back home yesterday as she was getting worse staying with me. I would have preferred for her to stay longer but realised it wasn't beneficial for her. So now I deal with the guilt :(. Feel like I shouldn't have fun, shouldn't be laughing, shouldn't be going out enjoying myself.
It feels like a lose lose situation.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
I took mum back home yesterday as she was getting worse staying with me. I would have preferred for her to stay longer but realised it wasn't beneficial for her. So now I deal with the guilt :(. Feel like I shouldn't have fun, shouldn't be laughing, shouldn't be going out enjoying myself.
It feels like a lose lose situation.
Hi there, I think that you have done the best possible for your Mum in the circumstances and that you have been the best carer that you can be. That's more than good enough. Take some time for yourself, perhaps with some good friends and find peace that you have the best interests of your mum in your heart and that you will continue to do that and at the moment that is the best that you can do. No guilt, there is no need for guilt xxx
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,906
London
Feeling guilty is almost a default setting for any carer, but really, you have done nothing wrong. You've done your best and it's not your fault that the dreaded dementia has other plans! You have the right to your own life so don't let it be eroded by the situation! Have you got friends or other carers to talk to, or could get some counselling? Your local Alzheimer's Society could also lend a sympathetic ear.
 

Cheekycow

Registered User
Feb 8, 2016
15
Just given mum a call and it's like talking to a different person. Oh, how I wish she was like that when she was staying with me.