I'm OK about it. Christmas was cancelled that year, obviously, but I'd had some difficult Christmases before that with her and Dad so I wasn't a big fan of the festive season anyway. My OH and I spent one Christmas Day with a flask of homemade soup and a picnic in the car on Scarborough prom as I was so desperate to do something different. Other than the lack of toilets (everything was shut ), it was great!Oh dear sorry that your mum died on Christmas eve. This time of year must be difficult.
I grieved, of course I did, but life goes on, and this year, my three little grandchildren will be here tomorrow for dinner. My granddaughter will be three in March and has been 'waiting for Christmas' all week, and my two baby grandsons born in June and July this year.
It's all part of the cycle of life. I won't be here forever either, none of us will, and again acceptance is the key. Our parents are likely to die before us. That's the way it is and we shouldn't expect otherwise. No regrets allowed.
Carpe diem and all that. Don't look back with regret, don't look too far forward with trepidation. Enjoy the moment. Actually, spending time with a toddler these last few months teaches you that. Nothing like a walk in the rain splashing in muddy puddles and watching the wonder in her eyes when the water goes down the drain 'to the river and to the sea'.
On that philosophical note, I'll get back to the kitchen. Trying to cook Delia's red cabbage for the first time. There looks to be enough to feed an army