1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Hello all

    I'm going to drop my mum off with my brother today. At last he is having some involvement! Mum has been here for 7 days and besides a rather big row yesterday (the usual 'there's nothing wrong with me' arguement), she has been fine. Last night whilst briefing brother on the phone, he stopped me to: tell me that a film was about to start on TV that he wanted to watch; that he was watching footie in the pub on Saturday afternoon so unless mum goes with him she will have to stay with his girlfriend. Girlfriend shouts up that she doesn't want mum with her! They are going out on NY Eve and will be taking mum. Although she's a sociable person, I'm worried that it will be too noisy, too busy. :eek:

    I'm sitting here now feeling very upset and guilty. I feel like I'm dumping her (albeit for 3 days) on him when clearly he's not prepared to sacrifice anything. I've written notes for him about her tablets, what they are for and about her routines. That he will need to reiterate all the time where things are (she's not been to their house much - another reason for me feeling bad). I guess before Xmas it seemed like a good idea. Brother seemed amenable and at the time said he had 'no plans'. I also thought it would give me a break. Now I'm not so sure. Mum changes her mind between wanting to go and not. We will be leaving in a few hours and I feel b**** awful! :(
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    May-be your mum picking up on your unease about her going, so she not sure, making her feel undeceive, just wondering as this use to happen with me with my mother when I was in your kind of situation.

    you Never no your mum may enjoy the change , all the worse that can happen is when she gets back to you is that you may find her unsettle , but after a few days she be back to her routen .

    Thats your main issue as long as your brother undertand that
     
  3. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Hello Lucille,
    Take a deep breath or two and go ahead with your original plan for your mum to go to your brothers. Sharing care, especially at this time of year is important, and I think you need to leave aside your misplaced guilt. In fact, I think you ought to go ' semi-incommunicado' for the duration if you can manage it. Don't ring, don't worry, let them get on with it. GO OUT and ENJOY yourself! They know where you are if they need you. You've done your bit and I would bet a considerable sum that your bit has always been far more than anyone else's. It's your turn to 'recreate'. Have a very happy New Year.
     
  4. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Thank you all!

    'Handover' completed! Still feel a bit sad; seems odd her not being here ... but down to practicalities. Need to go and do some shopping and then I will, Deborah, as you said: 'recreate'! I also plan to go for a long walk sometime over the next couple of days - whatever the weather - Hurrah. This guilt monster is a right b*****d though, isn't it!;)

    Best wishes to all of you for 2007.
     
  5. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Lucille, you enjoy your few days of pleasing yourself without any worries. In our cicumstances they are too few and far between. You knock that b*****y guilt monster off and have a few days of fun. Mum I'm sure will be fine with her son.

    Go girl, enjoy

    Love
    Cate
     

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