Feeling guilty and isolated

FrenchApple

New member
Sep 19, 2019
1
Hello everyone

I am a new member based in France whose OH was diagnosed with Altzheimers last year.

His short term memory is non -existant and denies knowing anything about anything! In his nightly wandering around the house last night he unplugged the TV and Skybox. When we got home last night I had to fix it only to find the whole box is now not working at all. In frustration I shouted at him after he denied having anything to do with it. Grrr but now feel so guilty for shouting.

Being in France it is difficult to get him involved in anything as he cannot speak enough French and now cannot get his head around any lessons.

Apologies for the rant but I had to get that off my chest.

Thanks for this Forum - reading what other people have said really helps.
 

Janjay

New member
Sep 28, 2018
8
Hello everyone

I am a new member based in France whose OH was diagnosed with Altzheimers last year.

His short term memory is non -existant and denies knowing anything about anything! In his nightly wandering around the house last night he unplugged the TV and Skybox. When we got home last night I had to fix it only to find the whole box is now not working at all. In frustration I shouted at him after he denied having anything to do with it. Grrr but now feel so guilty for shouting.

Being in France it is difficult to get him involved in anything as he cannot speak enough French and now cannot get his head around any lessons.

Apologies for the rant but I had to get that off my chest.

Thanks for this Forum - reading what other people have said really helps.
 

Janjay

New member
Sep 28, 2018
8
Hi there

You sound as if your life is just like mine as my husband is exactly the same, it is so difficult to know how to communicate with him at times, we still do have some beautiful times together, but alas in minutes he has forgotten, the night wandering....and that look on his face when I tell him he has just eaten when he is asking for lunch just 15 minutes later.....
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,787
Hi @FrenchApple My dad used to turn of everything that had a light on it. The internet box was always turned off so the wifi was always broken. I would fix it and it would be broken again the next day. I then hid the box under a cupboard which worked. I put little bits of tape over other lights so he would not see them in the dark which also worked for a while.

Trial and error until they find something else to play with.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,498
Yorkshire
hello @FrenchApple
a warm welcome to DTP

like others, I recognise this behaviour ... and also covered up or hid any switches of any kind so dad couldn't see them, including making sure he couldn't spot any standby lights ... it did seem that out of sight was out of mind

I appreciate that your username gives the clue that you are in France ... might you also add France as your location on your profile, as we do have other members there who may notice it and have suggestions specific to the French systems
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
542
Hi @FrenchApple.
My Mum has late stage mixed dementia and we did consider relocating her to france where my sister lives. My sister felt that the state provision might be better there - Mummy now lives in a care home. Ultimately we didnt move her as I worried that the language barrier might be an issue. I think it depends a lot on the stage of dementia really. Mummy did randomly start speaking french a few times - not sure why.
I concur with what everyone has said about covering switches and lights. Mummy became obsessed with mobile phones - even though she sadly had no idea what to do with them once she got her hands on one. We did find a cheap "object finder" - an electronic fob with stick on sensors for walking stick, handbag, keys etc useful as you press the fob and the sensor flashes and emits a sound. We found her walking stick in the wardrobe of a neighboring resident. God knows how it got there...