1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Carrie Anne

    Carrie Anne Registered User

    Sep 7, 2011
    67
    Wiltshire
    I am officially a grumpy old woman. Spending this morning cleaning,tidying and cooking for my in laws, who are lovely people in rude health, who holiday several times a year, have numerous friends and are busy with hobbies, coffee clubs and beach walks. My mum on the other hand is feeling abandoned and lonely after five weeks in a care home.

    I am sobbing into my vegetable peelings and not sure if I can put on the jolly act today.

    My husband has ensured that the Sunday lunch was planned for a weekend when both my sons are home. The last time my mum came to Sunday lunch everybody went out.

    Feeling totally glum. I hope nobody asks me how mum is getting on. The trouble is I'll be offended if they don't.

    Could have done without this today.
     
  2. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    #2 sleepless, Feb 15, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2015
    Carrie Anne, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are feeling so down.
    I can only try to imagine how you must be feeling
    Certainly hope your hard work is appreciated and that your family can be sensitive to your feelings.
    Thinking of you.
     
  3. jimbosmith

    jimbosmith Registered User

    May 10, 2013
    77
    Hi Carrie Anne,

    Although I am not married I experience similar feelings with regards to my friends and cousins. They all expect me to drop everything and do what they are doing but don't understand what it is like as their parents are perfectly healthy. They also assume some magic NHS / social care solution will just magic it's way into my life. 'You must be able to get some help' said in a patronising way.

    How did the day go by the way?
     
  4. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Hope the day went better than you expected. I wonder if your in laws might pay a few visits to your Mum if you dropped a hint? Even if she might not recognise them, it would be nice for you to know that she had some caring visitors.

    Sorry if this is not a possibility due to location etc

    PS you are NOT a grumpy old woman - you are a loving daughter who feels sad for your poor Mum's distress.
     
  5. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    I'm sorry I've only just caught up with your thread, Carrie Anne

    I can well imagine how you felt this morning - it's all so unfair, isn't it? I hope you had a better day than you anticipated.

    Thinking of you :)

    Lindy xx
     
  6. Carrie Anne

    Carrie Anne Registered User

    Sep 7, 2011
    67
    Wiltshire
    Thanks all, it was a long old day, but I got through it.

    It doesn't take much to get me going at the moment, I don't want to turn into a bitter person but some people really can be pretty insensitive. The best they can do is say
    " you've done the right thing" as if that's it, all over, move on and go on to complain again about losing their W**tro** free coffee.
     
  7. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,597
    Female
    Scotland
    Things people say!

    Insensitive Carrie Anne? My sister in law phoned last week and summed up her feeling about my husband's illness by saying that the best thing for people with dementia was a pill to end it all!

    He is eating his breakfast prior to going with me to the swimming pool and I do wonder how he would feel if I told him - she is an old lady herself so I suppose I should just forget it but what I will do is avoid her like the plague. Who needs more negativity?
     

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