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Feeling glum

Carrie Anne

Registered User
Sep 7, 2011
I am officially a grumpy old woman. Spending this morning cleaning,tidying and cooking for my in laws, who are lovely people in rude health, who holiday several times a year, have numerous friends and are busy with hobbies, coffee clubs and beach walks. My mum on the other hand is feeling abandoned and lonely after five weeks in a care home.

I am sobbing into my vegetable peelings and not sure if I can put on the jolly act today.

My husband has ensured that the Sunday lunch was planned for a weekend when both my sons are home. The last time my mum came to Sunday lunch everybody went out.

Feeling totally glum. I hope nobody asks me how mum is getting on. The trouble is I'll be offended if they don't.

Could have done without this today.


Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
The Sweet North
Carrie Anne, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are feeling so down.
I can only try to imagine how you must be feeling
Certainly hope your hard work is appreciated and that your family can be sensitive to your feelings.
Thinking of you.
Last edited:


Registered User
May 10, 2013
Hi Carrie Anne,

Although I am not married I experience similar feelings with regards to my friends and cousins. They all expect me to drop everything and do what they are doing but don't understand what it is like as their parents are perfectly healthy. They also assume some magic NHS / social care solution will just magic it's way into my life. 'You must be able to get some help' said in a patronising way.

How did the day go by the way?


Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
British Isles
Hope the day went better than you expected. I wonder if your in laws might pay a few visits to your Mum if you dropped a hint? Even if she might not recognise them, it would be nice for you to know that she had some caring visitors.

Sorry if this is not a possibility due to location etc

PS you are NOT a grumpy old woman - you are a loving daughter who feels sad for your poor Mum's distress.


Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
I'm sorry I've only just caught up with your thread, Carrie Anne

I can well imagine how you felt this morning - it's all so unfair, isn't it? I hope you had a better day than you anticipated.

Thinking of you :)

Lindy xx

Carrie Anne

Registered User
Sep 7, 2011
Thanks all, it was a long old day, but I got through it.

It doesn't take much to get me going at the moment, I don't want to turn into a bitter person but some people really can be pretty insensitive. The best they can do is say
" you've done the right thing" as if that's it, all over, move on and go on to complain again about losing their W**tro** free coffee.


Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
Things people say!

Insensitive Carrie Anne? My sister in law phoned last week and summed up her feeling about my husband's illness by saying that the best thing for people with dementia was a pill to end it all!

He is eating his breakfast prior to going with me to the swimming pool and I do wonder how he would feel if I told him - she is an old lady herself so I suppose I should just forget it but what I will do is avoid her like the plague. Who needs more negativity?

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