1. Heather777

    Heather777 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2008
    267
    Bristol
    I know that this is really a daily feeling but is a strong feeling today! Since my dads assessment the glaring issues in his care have become more and more obvious.

    When I went in this afternoon I was inundated with staff, checking fluid and turn charts, giving a drink, turning him and having to clean his mess up. Quite right you may think but this is only the result of us going mad with their lack of care specifically over the last few days! I know that this amount of attention will not be sustainable and actually it makes you feel even more uneasy as you are waiting for it to stop!

    He is still on end of life care which really seems to mean nothing to the staff apart from feeding him and giving him a drink every few hours. I told the care assistant that it was actually cruel to keep him in this state and it wasn't positive that they had managed to get him something today. On the one hand she told me she wouldn't want her family to allow her to live like this and then she tells me they can't play God and starve him. But to me actually they are playing God by making him eat and drink. How can one choice be in his best interests and one not? Strikes me that the fear of us being sued outweighs any quality of life.

    If I had more energy then I am telling you I would see legal advice about human rights. But I don't so I won't instead I will put my frustrations here!!!

    I walk into his room, he may or may not open his eyes, he can't respond to you, he doesn't recognise you. He can't tell you if he is hot or cold, if he has messed or not, if he is hungry or thirsty or not, he can't turn himself, his leg is so bent he can't straighten it, what pleasure is there and what quality of life is this for anyone???

    Aghhhhhhhh

    Heather!!!
     
  2. sallyc

    sallyc Registered User

    Aug 20, 2008
    1,674
    suffolk
    Hi Heather. I'm really sorry to hear your going through so much at the moment. I don't have any practical advice for you. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you.
     
  3. Christin

    Christin Registered User

    Jun 29, 2009
    5,038
    Somerset
    Thinking of you too. This must be dreadful for you. Be Strong. xx
     
  4. scarletpauline

    scarletpauline Registered User

    Jul 19, 2009
    5,080
    Leicestershire
    It is a very hurtful situation but I don't know the answer to it, so many people go through this sort of thing don't they, sending you hugs and love and hopefully some strength to be able to cope with it, love Pauline xx
     
  5. Jancis

    Jancis Registered User

    Jun 30, 2010
    2,567
    Hampshire
    Dear Heather,
    I know exactly what you are going through as I had to watch my dad in this state for months. Terrible beyond belief. He was at home with us with carers coming and going constantly. I hate to have to say this but I think we could have chosen to stop feeding him (via a PEG) but that was not a choice because my mum just couldn't bear to let him go.
    Hope your dad does not have to suffer for too long now.
    Love Jancisx
     
  6. serena

    serena Registered User

    Jul 17, 2010
    69
    Hampshire
    Hi Heather

    Cannot say anything which could help but would like to send heartfelt sympathy for you and your Father in this hellish situation.

    All best wishes Serena
     
  7. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    Female
    South Ribble
    Hi

    I can't really add anything except to send sympathy.

    It is a rotten situation, and nothing is ideal in this situation, I suppose. So sorry you are having to deal with it all. It must take a lot of strength.
     
  8. Jo1958

    Jo1958 Registered User

    Mar 31, 2010
    3,724
    Yorkshire
    Heather, hi
    Thinking about you and your dad, what a terrible situation for you both.
    Kind regards, Jo
     
  9. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    Sending you love and hugs .
     
  10. Heather777

    Heather777 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2008
    267
    Bristol
    Thanks for the messages of support. I am still going and so is my dad. I thought something was a foot because their have been swarms of staff doing stuff for him. Now I have found out today there was an assessment going on. Well that is over so no doubt it will be going back to 'normal' and then I won't be feeling so uneasy!!

    Heather
     

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