Feeling failure

[lvplbrian]

Despite my elation at having my partners sister on side and visiting well man with him.An appointment has been made and hopefully the doctor will pick up the signals but my partner is now saying he doesn't need his sister with him to explain his headaches and how they make him feel. Has told I cannot speak to his sister anymore about how he his? I am now alone again with his unpredictable ,repetitive behaviour etc. The nurse at the well man clinic told me that what I was describing were typical symptoms of some form of dementia . But unless my partner informs them of what he is experiencing there is nothing they can do. So am hoping the GP will see what others are starting to see. This feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming at times, hope beyond hope that the doctor starts necessary tests and MRI scan etc. If not have to go back to the drawing board . Part of me says can I go through this again after watching my disappear into the world of dementia.,am I strong enough to cope? My optimism must out but at this moment I am deflated and defeated all want is what is best for my partner.Will finish this post later.

 

[CollegeGirl]

I am so sorry. I know that feeling of helplessness very well. It's very difficult to live with the knowledge that there's not much you can do if your loved one won't take advice. My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry that I have nothing else to offer except a shoulder to cry on.

xx

 

[Grannie G]

Hello lvplbrian

Can you communicate with your partner`s sister by text? Anyway you can to prevent you from becoming isolated.

Also could you visit the GP by yourself. Keep a diary of your concerns to show the GP when you go. If it is in writing, dated and timed, it will give the GP a better idea.

I know this seems deceitful but many of us have found it`s the only way to get help.

 

[lvplbrian]

Continuation Feeling Failure

As I looked after my mother with dementia am feeling I am being put into the same lonely place.Watching my partner struggling with whatever is going on. I think he knows that something is happening to himself and trying to deny that anything is happening. The fact that others are noticing how he is behaving differently. There is part of me saying I must be imagining whats happening then the logical me says no you are right that he needs to be tested further. But I know he won't mention to the doctor what is really happening to himself. I don't want to be put into that lonely place again of no one hearing me .As I was with my mother I was only heard when it was to late. I will take onboard and will keep a diary of how he behaves over the next few weeks and let my doctor be aware that all I want is my partners best interests, Perhaps tomorrow will bring about a different perspective all I know is that if I did not love my partner as I do I could not go through this anguish.

 

[LYN T]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so sad and isolated. My Husband wouldn't go to his GP so I had to write a letter explaning exactly what was going on. Incidents etc. You need to do this without feeling guilty as it's in his own best interests.

Keep in touch with your SIL as she sounds like a good friend-and we all need those. Think of it like this-would your Husband usually have banned you from contacting SIL? If the answer is 'no' then carry on in any way that you can.Don't make an issue of it, IMO there's no need to tell him.

One more thought could your SIL also write to his Gp and explain what is happening?

Keep posting and take care

Lyn T