Streuth ... isn't this all awful? Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death (he had been in a care home for a year, dementia, but lucid 'in the moment' - though just for that moment!). I am so pleased he died before all of this. My mum, also suffering with dementia, is in a care home. I've seen her 4 times since March, and those visits have not been particularly successful. All outside in the garden, thanks to the good summer weather. The first time she didn't know it was me due the mask and length of time since she'd seen me, so subsequently I removed the mask when I greeted her so she could recognise my face (I know she knows my face, though not sure she realises I am her daughter any more). The worst thing is not being able to touch her. Hugs and kisses were most definitely her thing, and since she talks absolute nonsense these days and doesn't really have a clue what's going on, we filled our visits with hair care, nails and looking at cookery books etc just so I had something to burble on about while spending time with her. Tbh, I wonder really how much our loved ones get out of this sometimes - it's all about us, sometimes, isn't it?
Anyway, now the care home have limited visits to one nominated family member only. In our family it makes sense for this to be my older sister, who lived 5 mins from mum's home, whilst I am an hour away. I feel relieved, as the visits without cuddles were unbearable. I do understand the need to keep the homes covid free if possible, but when you see the carers hugging and holding hands with your mum while you are kept 2m distant, I wonder about the rules ... who knows where that carer has been and how many people she's been mixing with, when I haven't ventured anywhere except the Spar shop for months! Anyway, rules is rules, and we have no choice.
Like so many of you in the very sad posts above, I can't help wondering whether my mum would be better off catching the blasted disease and joining dad somewhere much better than this. There. I said it.
Much love to you all. What a s**t time to live through. I just miss my mum like mad.
Anyway, now the care home have limited visits to one nominated family member only. In our family it makes sense for this to be my older sister, who lived 5 mins from mum's home, whilst I am an hour away. I feel relieved, as the visits without cuddles were unbearable. I do understand the need to keep the homes covid free if possible, but when you see the carers hugging and holding hands with your mum while you are kept 2m distant, I wonder about the rules ... who knows where that carer has been and how many people she's been mixing with, when I haven't ventured anywhere except the Spar shop for months! Anyway, rules is rules, and we have no choice.
Like so many of you in the very sad posts above, I can't help wondering whether my mum would be better off catching the blasted disease and joining dad somewhere much better than this. There. I said it.
Much love to you all. What a s**t time to live through. I just miss my mum like mad.