Feeling depressed and confused about visiting restrictions.

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
105
Actually who needs a 'pilot'. They just need to go ahead and implement changes asap but as you say @anxious annie the supposed rise in case numbers will be an excuse to bin the whole thing. As for not allowing window visits, its cruel and inhumane. The whole thing is getting unbelievably ridiculous
 

Sarah1208

Registered User
Jun 22, 2020
96
I say ‘it’ every day. It’s mums birthday next week and I want her to have it in heaven, if there is such a place, with her mum and dad, friends she has lost, pain free so they can all have a party, smile and hug each other like families should. Instead she faces the pain of “if it’s my birthday why isn’t my daughter and grandchildren here.?” Forgive me but it hurts so bad.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
I say ‘it’ every day. It’s mums birthday next week and I want her to have it in heaven, if there is such a place, with her mum and dad, friends she has lost, pain free so they can all have a party, smile and hug each other like families should. Instead she faces the pain of “if it’s my birthday why isn’t my daughter and grandchildren here.?” Forgive me but it hurts so bad.
It is my Mum’s birthday on Saturday and I feel much the same as you. I will get to have a window visit the day after but she will not understand why I can’t go in and have birthday cake with her. Sending you virtual hugs for what they are worth
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
@Sarah1208 So sorry you won't get to see your mum on her birthday 🤗🤗🤗
It's an awful situation isn't it. my mum went into CH 8 weeks ago, I saw her once in the garden for 20 minutes or so before the stopped even those visits and I've spoke to her on phone twice for a minute or two and so has my sister but that's it. Besides fact mum doesn't know why she has to be in the CH she probably has no idea where we are and why we're not seeing her, so probably feels abandoned, but the government aren't bothered about that. I know we have to be careful because of covid but surely something can be thought of so we can see our mums and loved ones and tell them we love them.
 

Stripey3

Registered User
May 29, 2019
36
I know its been mentioned before, but easy to get lost in the threads, so, if you haven’t already signed it, please, please please sign the ‘rights for residents’ petition. Link below


it’s gaining real momentum and now has the support of the daily express.

Thank you
 

Azay28

Registered User
Nov 21, 2015
96
I havent posted or even read any in about a year as Mum moved to CH and I wanted to concentrate on that. But what a situation we're all in now.

So heartbreaking reading all your posts about how visits etc are affecting you and your loved ones. In my case after lockdown I was able to see Mum for garden visits which in fact were okay. She was totally confused about where she was but I think enjoyed seeing me, we didnt have to wear masks only sanitize hands but sat more than 2 metres apart. She did want to hug and hold hands so that was tricky. Managed to do 2 visits a week 30 mins each or more if no one else due next. We had then begun indoor visits in hallway, with mask on. Now had about a week of visits before went into Tier 2. So no visits allowed. Only been a week and feel quite tearful after every phone call. I try to call every other day & send little notes/ parcels when I can. Anything to keep contact going. I think she is a bit down but was actually looking really well on past visits & I can still make her laugh. God I just want to be able to hug her again.
On other hand lockdown had a real bad effect on my mother in law, she has deteriorated a lot so they have decided for her own health my hubby can still visit once a week, as exceptional circumstances. They don't want her to go downhill. That is really good he can go but of course I feel envious. Both homes in different areas.
Take care everyone. 😘
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
596
Had a phone call yesterday to say all residents isolating in their room as member of staff tested positive. It made me really sad to think of mum lonely in her room, she can't follow a film/ TV programme, read a book etc and know the plot, like many of the other residents mum will be so fed up for the next 14? days. I don't blame staff, for spreading infection, they have a life outside the home. I do blame the government for not turning tests around more quickly , these took 3 days.
Then today my sister bumped into a member of staff , who was working all last week, in Tesco. Why wasn't she isolating, like mum has too? I understand staff have to keep going into work if they haven't tested positive, but I thought they'd be isolating outside of this, and staying at home? Just like if anyone has been notified they've been around a "positive case" and isolating. My sister actually asked her the question, but she just said no, she didn't need to, and kept repeating this.
I think she's wrong and should isolate at home, so feeling cross too.
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
105
@anxious annie Im sorry to hear youre feeling so fed up (I am too but trying to take things one day at a time). I think one of the carers at my Mums home said theyve all had to sign something to say they wont socialise outside work etc. but dont know how it can be enforced. If theyre genuinley doing that then surely staff should isolate if theres a case in the home. To be honest, the tiny amount of time we get to actually see our loved ones, half of them could be being left in their rooms regardless of isolating situations. I really hope rights for residents keep campaining as without them not sure what we'd do. Hopefully they can keep going despite all the endless setbacks..
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,601
Then today my sister bumped into a member of staff , who was working all last week, in Tesco. Why wasn't she isolating, like mum has too? I understand staff have to keep going into work if they haven't tested positive, but I thought they'd be isolating outside of this, and staying at home? Just like if anyone has been notified they've been around a "positive case" and isolating. My sister actually asked her the question, but she just said no, she didn't need to, and kept repeating this.
I think she's wrong and should isolate at home, so feeling cross too.
There is specific guidance for staff in health & social care settings with regards to whether they need to isolate or not after having contact with a patient/resident/colleague who has tested positive. If the contact occurred whilst they were wearing PPE then they don't need to isolate unless they have symptoms:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publi...are-workers-and-patients-in-hospital-settings
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
596
Yes, tough times @Kellyr . Thanks for sharing @Louise7 , yes I see now where it says colleagues don't have to isolate if contact is in social setting at work, and wearing mask etc. But I don't see why residents in contact in eg the lounge with the covid staff wearing mask etc , but not having personal care from them eg activity coordinator, the residents do have to isolate? If Ive got that right?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
So very sorry to hear that your Mum is having to isolate in her room. It must be so hard for you and so confusing for your Mum. It so needs a better option
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,601
@anxious annie The guidance says that residents who have been exposed to someone who is covid positive should be isolated or cohorted so they don't necessarily have to be confined to their rooms, I guess it would depend on the risk assessment. I know that when there was an outbreak in Mum's home and she was confined to her room the activity staff still came round and visited residents in their rooms with various things to keep them entertained so perhaps your mum's home will be doing something similar?
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
596
Thanks @Bikerbeth , it will be so hard for the residents. Perhaps @Louise7 if tests come back negagive for individual residents, they at least will be able to go to the lounge etc. I don't expect activities will go on, as when residents are isolated in rooms there is always so much more work for staff, taking trays for meals to their rooms , so activity coordinator will be supporting this and helping with the duties of the staff at home isolating.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
596
I think it is taking anytime between 2 to 4 days, but who knows? I have FaceTime with mum tomorrow so will check how things are. Hoping no other cases!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
You would think that in a tight communal setting like a Care Home they should be given some priority.
I hope the FaceTime with your Mum goes ok tomorrow
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
596
Thanks @Bikerbeth , FaceTime went well today as wifi working with no loss of connection!
Good news is that mum, and all the other residents tests were negative. I asked if this meant they would be allowed back in the lounge, but was told they are still waiting for 2 staff tests back ( from Friday) and if they are ok I think the manager has to phone her boss to get the OK?
Can't understand why the residents can't cohort together, but expect they'll say if staff were positive they could have passed on infection to residents over the last couple of days whilst waiting for results, and residents may have picked it up and test positive at the next testing this Friday?
The Government needs to get these rapid tests for staff, residents and family!
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
596
Just heard BBC seen a letter from universities minister to chancellors saying mass testing of students ( 1 hour results) to get them home for Christmas and aim to stop infection spread. I understand this, but am beyond anger that there is no news of this happening for family members of residents in care homes.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
Glad the residents have all tested negative and hope those staff ones come back quickly and a decision made promptly. I don’t understand either why they can’t bring in this rapid testing for Care Homes either. I know it might not help all relatives but if it would mean that some relatives could visit it has to be a bonus.. I share your anger