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Feeling depressed and confused about visiting restrictions.

Wishing20

Registered User
Feb 27, 2020
18
if you have Facebook or Twitter look up JOHN‘S CAMPAIGN and RIGHTS FOR RESIDENTS - these are campaign groups that have come about due to this inhumane treatment of Dementia patients in Care Homes where visiting is restricted and it is having detrimental effects on their health and mental wellbeing. I feel your pain, we live in difficult times :(
 

mydiamondmum

Registered User
Nov 10, 2015
166
Wishing20, I second that, they are doing a brilliant job in bringing attention to and taken action about this matter.
I learned how to use twitter just because of this so that I can do my bit by tweeting and retweeting and getting the message out there.

Here are the links

@JohnCampaign


@rightsforresid2
 

mydiamondmum

Registered User
Nov 10, 2015
166
I was hopeful when a Matt Hancock twitter post announced that he was making available a number of clear face masks to NHS and care workers to help them communicate with people with conditions like dementia. So I emailed the relevant senior manager at mum’s home and asked if I could use such a mask on visits to mum.

His response was that,

‘if we have thought that national guidelines have not been robust enough to ensure safety, we have added our own protocols to minimise risk’

and basically no I couldn’t wear such a mask unless I provided proof that I was mask exempt then they would look at it again and possibly allow it with increased social distancing. (Already at 2m on outside garden visits) This would defeat the object as mum is already distressed at me sitting so far away from her she keeps asking me to come closer and doesn’t understand so to sit further away would be even more distressing.

I was getting hopeful with all the positive activity with John’s Campaign, and Rights for Residents who are doing a wonderful job, but after getting this reply it would seem that care homes are a law unto themselves now.

I can’t move my mother as doing so would have a great detrimental affect nor can I put my point too strongly as they can always issue notice

This is all so upsetting.

Hugs to those who are experiencing similar to our situation.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,698
I'm beginning to feel that residents in care homes have more akin with prisoners than elderly people who are in care as they need a bit of extra help. I don't know if this is because people making the policies think families put their loved ones into care to 'get rid of them' and aren't bothered, if the needs of the elderly and disabled aren't considered important or just general incompetence. I've written to my MP, who is usually good at replying, but not had a peep out of him yet. As he has made a big deal of how he cared for his mother and now his son in his recent campaign to become leader of his party, I find this surprising. Maybe I need to re-write to him .
Mum's home is doing 'garden gate visits'. I feel these aren't much use as she can't see very well and I can't hear very well. It would be like looking at an animal in a zoo rather than engaging with another human being.
On a more general note, visits or no visits, I feel so sorry that residents are no longer having the sort of activities they so enjoy, musicians coming in trips out etc. I know in mum's home the activities co-ordinators are doing what they can, but that all seems to be aimed at the more capable residents, not people like my mum who can't see to wield a paintbrush or understand word games. She used to enjoy the singers and the dancing though.
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
717
I'm beginning to feel that residents in care homes have more akin with prisoners than elderly people who are in care as they need a bit of extra help. I don't know if this is because people making the policies think families put their loved ones into care to 'get rid of them' and aren't bothered, if the needs of the elderly and disabled aren't considered important or just general incompetence. I've written to my MP, who is usually good at replying, but not had a peep out of him yet. As he has made a big deal of how he cared for his mother and now his son in his recent campaign to become leader of his party, I find this surprising. Maybe I need to re-write to him .
Mum's home is doing 'garden gate visits'. I feel these aren't much use as she can't see very well and I can't hear very well. It would be like looking at an animal in a zoo rather than engaging with another human being.
On a more general note, visits or no visits, I feel so sorry that residents are no longer having the sort of activities they so enjoy, musicians coming in trips out etc. I know in mum's home the activities co-ordinators are doing what they can, but that all seems to be aimed at the more capable residents, not people like my mum who can't see to wield a paintbrush or understand word games. She used to enjoy the singers and the dancing though.
@Sarasa have you seen the post above from @diamondmum with links to two campaigns that are going on?
I finally had some sort of progress yesterday after months of badgering and a meltdown at the home on Saturday.
They’ve finally agreed to do an individual risk assessment as per the government guidelines.
They are currently preparing a room for visits inside.
They have sourced clear masks and are just waiting for the ok which the manager is confident of getting, staff as well as visitors will wear these.
So I’ve just got 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞x
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
411
Great news @Baker17 , hopefully other care homes will follow. I think the campaigns are gathering momentum @mydiamondmum and surely the government must start to listen and find a safe way for all residents to enjoy indoor visits . There must be a way.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
554
Well, after three gazebo visits, my mum and nine other residents had positive Covid tests so the home went into lockdown four weeks ago and, although the residents are now all clear, visits have not restarted and there are no plans for the future. I have no idea when I will be able to visit mum again.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
I'm beginning to feel that residents in care homes have more akin with prisoners than elderly people who are in care as they need a bit of extra help. I don't know if this is because people making the policies think families put their loved ones into care to 'get rid of them' and aren't bothered, if the needs of the elderly and disabled aren't considered important or just general incompetence. I've written to my MP, who is usually good at replying, but not had a peep out of him yet. As he has made a big deal of how he cared for his mother and now his son in his recent campaign to become leader of his party, I find this surprising. Maybe I need to re-write to him .
Mum's home is doing 'garden gate visits'. I feel these aren't much use as she can't see very well and I can't hear very well. It would be like looking at an animal in a zoo rather than engaging with another human being.
On a more general note, visits or no visits, I feel so sorry that residents are no longer having the sort of activities they so enjoy, musicians coming in trips out etc. I know in mum's home the activities co-ordinators are doing what they can, but that all seems to be aimed at the more capable residents, not people like my mum who can't see to wield a paintbrush or understand word games. She used to enjoy the singers and the dancing though.
That’s a shame. Mum’s care home have managed to get some musicians to come and perform outside on a terrace area whilst the residents are inside.
 

granny shoe

Registered User
Jul 14, 2020
21
I was hopeful when a Matt Hancock twitter post announced that he was making available a number of clear face masks to NHS and care workers to help them communicate with people with conditions like dementia. So I emailed the relevant senior manager at mum’s home and asked if I could use such a mask on visits to mum.

His response was that,

‘if we have thought that national guidelines have not been robust enough to ensure safety, we have added our own protocols to minimise risk’

and basically no I couldn’t wear such a mask unless I provided proof that I was mask exempt then they would look at it again and possibly allow it with increased social distancing. (Already at 2m on outside garden visits) This would defeat the object as mum is already distressed at me sitting so far away from her she keeps asking me to come closer and doesn’t understand so to sit further away would be even more distressing.

I was getting hopeful with all the positive activity with John’s Campaign, and Rights for Residents who are doing a wonderful job, but after getting this reply it would seem that care homes are a law unto themselves now.

I can’t move my mother as doing so would have a great detrimental affect nor can I put my point too strongly as they can always issue notice

This is all so upsetting.

Hugs to those who are experiencing similar to our situation.
So sorry to hear that you can't wear a clear face shield. I now wear one when visiting my husband in the garden at a good 2 metres distance. He can hear me much better now. It does seem wrong that homes can pretty much do what they want and there is no consistency and often no good infection control theory underpinning the decisions. I found out this week that the chiropodist visited my husband in June and August. If he can go into the home with PPE why can't I ?!
 

mydiamondmum

Registered User
Nov 10, 2015
166
Exactly granny show ... I couldn't get over the arrogant tone of the reply I received from this senior manager. It seems that they are a law unto themselves now... I may be repeating myself here but I feel very strongly about it that my mother and others in the same situation has now been stripped of her rights an no one or organisation is regulating them. The CQC are pretty useless at the best of times but now they as well not even be there.
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
186
This is just appalling. My dad , who does not have dementia, is currently in hospital. I have been able to book an appointment to visit him for an hour next Monday, when he will have been there for a week. It’s not great, but it’s better than what’s being offered for care home residents whose need to love and support from family members is even greater.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
411
That's so tough @Lynmax , I hope you get a visit soon. IT seems like the home is implying family "brought the infection " in, when just as likely, if not more so staff, as management reluctant to restart visiting. Rights for Residents Facebook group led by two very determined and hardworking ladies are encouraging everyone to email their MP to highlight their story and how inhumane the restrictions on visiting are. I've sent to my MP explaining how it is affecting my mental health , as well as the MP for mum's constituency. I had to send several emails before I got a telephone call from my MP. Unfortunately she is a minister at DHSC, and just trotted out the party line of "restrictions being lifted once it was safe". She had deaf ears when I said my mum was existing not living a meaningful life. She had no ideas of how visits could take place more safely , basically the Govt doesn't want any more deaths on its hands and will do nothing if we let them by remaining quiet.
Please, please everyone email your mp, we must be heard!
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
44
That's so tough @Lynmax , I hope you get a visit soon. IT seems like the home is implying family "brought the infection " in, when just as likely, if not more so staff, as management reluctant to restart visiting. Rights for Residents Facebook group led by two very determined and hardworking ladies are encouraging everyone to email their MP to highlight their story and how inhumane the restrictions on visiting are. I've sent to my MP explaining how it is affecting my mental health , as well as the MP for mum's constituency. I had to send several emails before I got a telephone call from my MP. Unfortunately she is a minister at DHSC, and just trotted out the party line of "restrictions being lifted once it was safe". She had deaf ears when I said my mum was existing not living a meaningful life. She had no ideas of how visits could take place more safely , basically the Govt doesn't want any more deaths on its hands and will do nothing if we let them by remaining quiet.
Please, please everyone email your mp, we must be heard!
Im supposed to be speaking to my mp where my mums c/home is, tomorrow...hope he listens wish me luck!
 
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Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
554
That's so tough @Lynmax , I hope you get a visit soon. IT seems like the home is implying family "brought the infection " in, when just as likely, if not more so staff, as management reluctant to restart visiting. Rights for Residents Facebook group led by two very determined and hardworking ladies are encouraging everyone to email their MP to highlight their story and how inhumane the restrictions on visiting are. I've sent to my MP explaining how it is affecting my mental health , as well as the MP for mum's constituency. I had to send several emails before I got a telephone call from my MP. Unfortunately she is a minister at DHSC, and just trotted out the party line of "restrictions being lifted once it was safe". She had deaf ears when I said my mum was existing not living a meaningful life. She had no ideas of how visits could take place more safely , basically the Govt doesn't want any more deaths on its hands and will do nothing if we let them by remaining quiet.
Please, please everyone email your mp, we must be heard!
I happen to know that the outbreak was probably caused by the transfer of a resident from another home within their group of homes. A very good friend of mine is on a joint NHS/LA Covid committee which covers cases in the community and this is what the care company have told them. So not linked to visitors or staff! But the outbreak contributed to the rise in cases which led to the local Greater Manchester lock down - 14 positive results in one day!