Feeling confused, tired & not like me

[PJ]

Thank you both so much I can’t tell you just how much it means that you have left these kind messages for me.
I’ve had a rough week some sort of virus it’s almost gone now but yesterday I was beginning to think I won’t be able to go as I’ve had a horrible cough & lying still & flat on my back seemed impossible
I am glad the dates finally arrived but yes apprehensive too.
I hope you are both well

 

[karaokePete]

I'm well, thanks @PJ. Did you get the scan done? When my wife had her PET scan it only took a week to get the result.

 

[PJ]

I'm well, thanks @PJ. Did you get the scan done? When my wife had her PET scan it only took a week to get the result.

Hi Pete yes I had it done & my husband sat in the room with me which was nice (although we weren’t allowed to talk). We were told the results would be back with mem clinic within 2wks max.
Did your wife get a phone call to say her results were in?
It’s strange as up until a few days ago I’d convinced myself I must have some sort of dementia whereas now I’m thinking it could all be due to depresssion I’ve suffered over the years.

 

[Tricot]

Hi @PJ I was just typing a message when you posted. Glad to hear it all went OK. 2 weeks is not so long. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[PJ]

Hi @PJ I was just typing a message when you posted. Glad to hear it all went OK. 2 weeks is not so long. Fingers crossed for you.

No it really isn’t long at all. I’m just so pleased it’s done now.
Not too much longer for you is it?

 

[Tricot]

Not too much longer for you is it?

My memory clinic appointment is next Monday afternoon but I don't know when the scan will be. I think for the first time I won't do so well in the tests as I feel there's been quite a deterioration since September.

 

[karaokePete]

Hi Pete yes I had it done & my husband sat in the room with me which was nice (although we weren’t allowed to talk). We were told the results would be back with mem clinic within 2wks max.
Did your wife get a phone call to say her results were in?
It’s strange as up until a few days ago I’d convinced myself I must have some sort of dementia whereas now I’m thinking it could all be due to depresssion I’ve suffered over the years.

We were also told 2 weeks max but the next week we had an appointment with the Consultant at the Mental Health Unit and got the result then.
Dementia and anxiety were, and still are, major features with my wife too.
I hope it goes well for you as if your problems are limited to depression and/or anxiety you are on a winner. However, don't lose heart if you do have some form of dementia as it is possible to live well with dementia too. My wife and I are doing better this year, post the Alzheimer's diagnosis, that we were last year prior to the diagnosis. Attitude to the disease and life in general is the key factor. (Added to having a good carer, of course, says he as he sings his own praises, lol.).

 

[PJ]

My memory clinic appointment is next Monday afternoon but I don't know when the scan will be. I think for the first time I won't do so well in the tests as I feel there's been quite a deterioration since September.

I feel for you Tricot it’s such a long waiting game sometimes with no answer. Keep positive & I hope you get the support you need from the mem clinic on Mon.

 

[PJ]

We were also told 2 weeks max but the next week we had an appointment with the Consultant at the Mental Health Unit and got the result then.
Dementia and anxiety were, and still are, major features with my wife too.
I hope it goes well for you as if your problems are limited to depression and/or anxiety you are on a winner. However, don't lose heart if you do have some form of dementia as it is possible to live well with dementia too. My wife and I are doing better this year, post the Alzheimer's diagnosis, that we were last year prior to the diagnosis. Attitude to the disease and life in general is the key factor. (Added to having a good carer, of course, says he as he sings his own praises, lol.).

Your post made me smile you are right attitude to life in general is everything & yes whatever the results say we will work with it.
It’s good to know your wife is doing well. Does she ever use this forum?

 

[karaokePete]

Your post made me smile you are right attitude to life in general is everything & yes whatever the results say we will work with it.
It’s good to know your wife is doing well. Does she ever use this forum?

My wife's attitude to life is very different to mine. We got together about 15 years ago and I have spent all that time trying to change her outlook because even before she met me she was a chronic depressive. I was always frustrated by my inability to change her outlook for anything more than a short period of time. Now that Alzheimer's has entered the frame I continue to try to get her to see things from the perspective of a half full glass but no longer get frustrated when I fail in my endeavours. I have a lot of stamina in both the physical and mental spheres so I just keep trying.
My wife does ask to use the forum but doesn't as she believes me when I tell her she would just focus on every bad aspect of every case and make life worse for herself. I also tell her that with what I read my opinion is that she is as close to perfectly normal as a person with Alzheimer's can be and she takes comfort and hope from that - it isn't a lie. If her attitude wasn't so black/negative she would get great assistance from the forum as I think TP is one of the best resources I've come across so it's a pity that she doesn't get to use it.

 

[Tricot]

Thank you @PJ Not at all positive at the moment I'm afraid. Just too many bad signs, too many 'firsts'. But I might feel better in the morning. When depression lifts, the world is a different place even with memory problems.

@karaokePete My husband has always been the glass half-full person and me the half-empty. I do wonder sometimes if, like your wife, I'd be better off not looking at Talking Point but I don't have any other support so here I am.

 

[PJ]

Thank you @PJ Not at all positive at the moment I'm afraid. Just too many bad signs, too many 'firsts'. But I might feel better in the morning. When depression lifts, the world is a different place even with memory problems.

I feel your pain. Trust me I try to be brave & positive but rarely am. Scared, moody, confused & lost is what I feel mostly these days.
I to have a husband who is usually positive but even he is struggling with the not knowing & waiting.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for us both

@karaokePete My husband has always been the glass half-full person and me the half-empty. I do wonder sometimes if, like your wife, I'd be better off not looking at Talking Point but I don't have any other support so here I am.

 

[PJ]

My wife's attitude to life is very different to mine. We got together about 15 years ago and I have spent all that time trying to change her outlook because even before she met me she was a chronic depressive. I was always frustrated by my inability to change her outlook for anything more than a short period of time. Now that Alzheimer's has entered the frame I continue to try to get her to see things from the perspective of a half full glass but no longer get frustrated when I fail in my endeavours. I have a lot of stamina in both the physical and mental spheres so I just keep trying.
My wife does ask to use the forum but doesn't as she believes me when I tell her she would just focus on every bad aspect of every case and make life worse for herself. I also tell her that with what I read my opinion is that she is as close to perfectly normal as a person with Alzheimer's can be and she takes comfort and hope from that - it isn't a lie. If her attitude wasn't so black/negative she would get great assistance from the forum as I think TP is one of the best resources I've come across so it's a pity that she doesn't get to use it.

Living with someone who suffers with depression must be very difficult. In my worst days I was a nightmare to be around. Thankfully I seem to have depression under control with medication & support of a good family.
I can fully understand your logic about your wife feeling negative after reading some things on here. I try not to read too much as it scares me but I do find lots of helpful advice.

 

[karaokePete]

Thank you @PJ Not at all positive at the moment I'm afraid. Just too many bad signs, too many 'firsts'. But I might feel better in the morning. When depression lifts, the world is a different place even with memory problems.

@karaokePete My husband has always been the glass half-full person and me the half-empty. I do wonder sometimes if, like your wife, I'd be better off not looking at Talking Point but I don't have any other support so here I am.

Hi Tricot, I would say just keep using TP as the forum is intended to be an information and support site. Perhaps jump out of a thread if it starts to get too much to handle.
I'm not a member of some 'Thought Police' group so I wouldn't stop my wife if she wanted to read/join TP. What right would I have to do such a thing? However, I know my wife well and when we discussed her possible use of TP I just pointed out the danger to her wellbeing that may result from her normal attitude of taking the worst of everything onto herself. She readily saw the truth of that and she herself decided not to look. However, TP in on the favourites bar of the computer so she can read if she wants and I have never asked if she has. Her memory is so bad that she wouldn't remember the start of a paragraph by the time she got to the end so it wouldn't do her much good anyway. All that she would retain would be the negative emotions stirred as she read anything bad.
I hope my own intentions are always visible when I post. I think that it is possible to live well with dementia and I keep repeating that like a mantra. I can't say often enough that our life is currently as good, if not better, than it has ever been. My wife and I are old(ish) people, my wife suffers from depression, high anxiety and Alzheimer's but we both agree every day that we are living a wonderful life.
Try to stay happy, positive and hopeful.

 

[karaokePete]

Living with someone who suffers with depression must be very difficult. In my worst days I was a nightmare to be around. Thankfully I seem to have depression under control with medication & support of a good family.
I can fully understand your logic about your wife feeling negative after reading some things on here. I try not to read too much as it scares me but I do find lots of helpful advice.

Hi PJ, yes, it can be a frustrating nightmare at times, but also a wonderful dream at times.
I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. In the same way that I try to be helpful on TP, I enjoy caring for my wife and trying to help her in every way possible. Like any relationship, it's a two way thing and I get back out as much as I put in. Listening to my wife can be depressing in itself at times. Sometimes she momentarily forgets who I am, which is a tough one for me, but I know that in the greater scheme of things I'm loved.

 

[PJ]

Hi Tricot, I would say just keep using TP as the forum is intended to be an information and support site. Perhaps jump out of a thread if it starts to get too much to handle.
I'm not a member of some 'Thought Police' group so I wouldn't stop my wife if she wanted to read/join TP. What right would I have to do such a thing? However, I know my wife well and when we discussed her possible use of TP I just pointed out the danger to her wellbeing that may result from her normal attitude of taking the worst of everything onto herself. She readily saw the truth of that and she herself decided not to look. However, TP in on the favourites bar of the computer so she can read if she wants and I have never asked if she has. Her memory is so bad that she wouldn't remember the start of a paragraph by the time she got to the end so it wouldn't do her much good anyway. All that she would retain would be the negative emotions stirred as she read anything bad.
I hope my own intentions are always visible when I post. I think that it is possible to live well with dementia and I keep repeating that like a mantra. I can't say often enough that our life is currently as good, if not better, than it has ever been. My wife and I are old(ish) people, my wife suffers from depression, high anxiety and Alzheimer's but we both agree every day that we are living a wonderful life.
Try to stay happy, positive and hopeful.

Great advice as always Pete

 

[PJ]

Hi PJ, yes, it can be a frustrating nightmare at times, but also a wonderful dream at times.
I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. In the same way that I try to be helpful on TP, I enjoy caring for my wife and trying to help her in every way possible. Like any relationship, it's a two way thing and I get back out as much as I put in. Listening to my wife can be depressing in itself at times. Sometimes she momentarily forgets who I am, which is a tough one for me, but I know that in the greater scheme of things I'm loved.

Having love & support can get us all through most things. I do sometimes wish my husband had someone else he could talk to. I know he’s worried & trying to stay strong for me but it’s hard for him too. Hopefully once we have some answers things will improve.

 

[PJ]

Thank you @PJ Not at all positive at the moment I'm afraid. Just too many bad signs, too many 'firsts'. But I might feel better in the morning. When depression lifts, the world is a different place even with memory problems.

@karaokePete My husband has always been the glass half-full person and me the half-empty. I do wonder sometimes if, like your wife, I'd be better off not looking at Talking Point but I don't have any other support so here I am.

Hi Tricot,just wanted to say hope all goes well for you at the memory clinic tomorrow

 

[Tricot]

Thank you @PJ My score was just the same as 6 months ago, what the doctor called almost perfect. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my memory has worsened in that time and that there have been new, unwanted developments. From what I read on this forum, people can continue doing well in the tests even when their dementia is well advanced. So I'm not reassured. I did ask the psychologist why my test results hadn't worsened when I felt sure there was deterioration and she said it may be a matter of concentration, that I could concentrate for the length of the test in a way that I couldn't do all day every day at home.

The doctor's conclusion was as before, no dementia but very severe depression.He reluctantly agreed to send me back to the University Memory Centre who will carry out the lumbar puncture and PET scan. I'm pleased It's a day hospital job and I won't have to stay overnight. I'm a very logical person and need to know what's going on.

One week down for you now PJ. How are you feeling?

 

[PJ]

Thank you @PJ My score was just the same as 6 months ago, what the doctor called almost perfect. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my memory has worsened in that time and that there have been new, unwanted developments. From what I read on this forum, people can continue doing well in the tests even when their dementia is well advanced. So I'm not reassured. I did ask the psychologist why my test results hadn't worsened when I felt sure there was deterioration and she said it may be a matter of concentration, that I could concentrate for the length of the test in a way that I couldn't do all day every day at home.

The doctor's conclusion was as before, no dementia but very severe depression.He reluctantly agreed to send me back to the University Memory Centre who will carry out the lumbar puncture and PET scan. I'm pleased It's a day hospital job and I won't have to stay overnight. I'm a very logical person and need to know what's going on.

One week down for you now PJ. How are you feeling?

Hi I hope you don’t mind but I’ve just shared this with my husband and he agrees with me, it’s like we are ‘two peas in a pod’ we are so similar in what we are experiencing. Each of my tests at the memory clinic have never really pulled up anything much in fact I often felt like people would think I was fussing about nothing when in fact, like you, I feel & see the deteriation in my everyday life to the point I had to give up my job!
I’m so pleased you will get to have the scan done. You did say you’ve had an MRI & CT before haven’t you?
The memory clinic decided on the SPECT scan for me as it gives a clear picture of how the blood is flowing through all the areas of the brain. So whatever the result I will hopefully deal with it & finally know what’s going on! I do hope the scan you are going to have is as detailed? All the best x